Bipolar check-in #42

For now, we’ve settled on seeing my therapist 2 to 3 times per week instead of IOP unless anything changes. I had a rough appt with her on thurs so she called my husband in to both make sure he took care of everything sharp and come up with a game plan to give me company at night when this depression is at it’s worse. He didn’t follow through with the second part but it’s not entirely his fault. Last night for instance he had worked from 6-4:30 AM that day so he was exhausted and simply couldn’t make it and had to get back up at 4:30 this morning to do it all again. I told my mom the same thing (my t suggested we get her help as well) and she didn’t volunteer to help. She just told me to take more klonapin. But, like last night and tonight, she is keeping 2 of my brother’s kids so she couldn’t even if she planned it. Last night was another rough one. I couldn’t go to sleep until after 12 then I woke up again around 1 and then after 3 as well. Now today is also rough and my husband is working all day so it’s just me and the kids. I want to go back to sleep but I drank my regular coffee so I’m too awake. I feel worthless though so getting things done feels nearly impossible and I really want to because I want my husband to come home to a clean house and some of the laundry finished. Plus, I haven’t showered in 4 days and I cringe at the thought. But I know that is so disgusting. I just don’t want to get off the couch. I absolutely will though. I’m at the point I can’t even deal with myself right now. I feel so gross and my hair is all greasy. On the plus side, I’m down 18 lbs!

Snow day. I took a bubble bath, and now I am baking. Still stuck in this depression, but at least I am trying to do little things.

Well, Day 2 of the Great Add-A-Ton-Of-Depakote-And-Restoril experiment is in the books and it is an abject failure. 90 minutes of sleep last night. My brain is just laughing at anything we throw at it. I am on so much sedating medication right now and about an hour or so after I take it, I could literally run two freaking marathons. It's just ridiculous. I wonder if there has ever been someone so refractory to sleep meds that they just never really slept again?

So, I guess it sounds like adding Thorazine is next. I am not hopeful. More to follow.

Thorazine works really well for me. I take 400 mg. It combined with 15mg abilify and a moodstabilizer has got rid of my psychotic symptoms completely, and I sleep very well every night , more stable than I've been in a long time.

If you do try it I hope it helps you

You're being a sport about this!

Many people do respond quickly when introducing Depakote, many don't. Your blood level will increase over a few days and, hopefully, it will help you more than it is right now.

Are you on an extended release formulation? If so, it might be possible to use an immediate release in addition?

I did this with a friend who was manic, under his pdoc's supervision. It worked quite well for him, while the extended release formulation was increasing his blood level of Depakote.

There have been times when I'd beg for Depakote if/when I'd needed it. I have found it can be quite helpful in evening things out, usually rather quickly in my case. We are all different, of course.

You seem to be doing a great job of being patient!

I'm giving my dog away! I love her but i've always felt guilty about the inconsistent schedule i have her on. This is due to my bipolar cycles, being manic in the Spring and Fall and up at dawn and depressed in the Summer and Winter and up at noon. That has to be hard on her. Dogs need routine. Also, due to being so rundown physically due to bipolar i haven't been walking her. I've just been taking her to a dogpark, which isn't ideal either.

So my neighbor's dog died recently and she is a superb dogmom, you can set your clock by her, she was out three times a day walking her dog and she's going to take my dog! That way my dog's environment stays the same and i can still see her occasionally. My neighbor already loves my dog and my dog loves her and i know she is going to a good home.

My neighbor is going away to Florida for a week soon so we'll just try and transition my dog for now and she'll take her permanently once she gets back. My neighbor's going to be taking her out for walks and i'm so glad i don't have to face that anymore! I love my dog but i won't miss the crushing guilt i've felt about her inconsistent schedule. I'm just soooooooooo pleased! It's best for all of us.

That’s great how things worked out. Good news!

I hope this gets straightened out for you soon and you get some good quality rest.

Good job doing little things to help the depression! Hhmmm...a bubble bath and baking sounds nice.

Hi bpcyclist. Are you still taking Provigil? The only times I was trialed on that was when I had hypersomnia, and not insomnia. It worked great for ending my hypersomnia, but went too far in the opposite direction. I was even psychotic manic once from it. What do you take it for, if you still take it?

I hope you find something to help with sleep. When I am really plagued by insomnia, I find adding prn Ativan to my 600 mg (or plus) Seroquel XR helpful. That combo usually gets me to sleep, but I do not want Ativan to ever become a regular part of my med cocktail again.

yes! My grandmother taught me to use ACV, honey, garlic and, sometimes, ginger. When I know I am starting a rather severe respiratory viral infection, I use that mixture AND I peel garlic cloves and either chew them, slice them or swallow them whole.

A Dr, Jarvis, from Vermont (USA), wrote on the usefulness of ACV-based mixtures used for various health conditions with both people and with large animals ( esp. dairy cattle). I recall my grandfather, a dairy farmer, pouring ACV on the hay/feed in the winter when the cattle were coughing, noses dripping, etc.

D. C. Jarvis - Wikipedia

Now ACV is also used to stabilize blood sugar, according to a couple of my friends living with diabetes. (They take it in tablet form.)

My grandmother always added approx. a tablespoon or less of raw ACV to a glass of water just before meals. She had said this helped her to easily digest her food.

I could go on about the uses in folk medicine, but won't. I am getting too far OT! My maternal great- grandmother was the region's "doctor"/midwife until a trained physician came to the region much later in her life. So my grandmother was well-trained in " Folk Medicine."

I use the raw ACV (Bragg's).

Just a brief note of caution: Anyone with serious immune deficiency issues should check with their doctor prior to ingesting raw ACV and/or raw honey.
I'd be very cautious about using these two ingredients in their raw form with young children, as well.

I hope anyone feeling unwell in any way can rest up and will recover asap!
Much Love

Nice! Sounds very inviting and relaxing!
The little things count, too!

Wow!

I often think of us as "guardians" of our pets more than "owning" them.
Your love story about your dog demonstrates your role as a truly outstanding guardian! I hope, if ever in a similar position, I'd have a heart as big and as strong as yours.

I am grateful there are people like you and like your neighbor, too, taking excellent care of the dog you share.

Fibro exacerbations can be so incredibly painful, so distressing in many ways. I go through this and am sorry you do, as well.

Relationships are rather notoriously challenging, for sure. it certainly seems as though you both care deeply for one another. Of course, we also need to consider whether the differences/difficulties are weighing upon us too heavily, affecting any aspect of our well-being to any degree.

Any chance a couple's counselor might assist him with some insight and/or help him to take responsibilities? I'm not second-guessing you. In thinking about what you've written, I am reminded of relationships I've seriously had to end. I am also reminded of a couple of others where I am sorry I did not try even short-term counseling.

it's fantastic you are proactively addressing your goals for your future!
This reminds me that I need to better adjust and clarify mine!

You are sounding good!

Much Love, Wander!

hi!

As I read your post, I had started to wonder if some of your cognitive challenges might be med-related?

I have seen anxiety and depression also cause some rather severe impairments, as well.

I hope you'll gain some clarification on this and I hope the symptoms are transitory.

I still have my job. I have not been fired yet. This can be a good sign, In the past, I hated to go to work. This job is not too bad. I have tomorrow off. So I can catch up on many things that I should of completed earlier this week,

I've been checking in intermittently and I think I've mentioned life has been very demanding. I won't go into it tonight.

It's 9F here right now. Maybe as low as -20F below tonight. I am grateful for the new furnace!

My niece came to visit today. We had a great time....AGAIN!!! The good times never end with her! She's delightful in every way!
I gave her a gift I had chosen for her. She loves sparkly things! Her eyes lit up!. I was/am thrilled, as it was a bold choice and not everyone would have the fun-loving courage to show these off! What FUN!

I am thankful for a day away from the ongoing demands.
Am weary and hope to retire early tonight!

Love to all!

Hot and muggy today. Fairly agitated and can’t figure out if it’s because of bipolar, anxiety or the weather. Otherwise my slow wean (started just before Christmas) off Seroquel is going well. Come to think of it my agitation may be because of the weaning.

Hope everyone is well. Hugs to those who need them.

Thanks for the response! I am not currently on any psych meds and usually not on any other meds, but perhaps it's anxiety and depression. I guess I'll see what they say. Trying to not get my hopes up about getting a definite answer, but hope they can give me some insight.

Things are pretty mundane in my life with the exception of my wife being gone to Indiana to present her research. So I'm just here to give hugs and keep tabs on all of you.