Addicted to hypo mania

Hey guys I just read a post on fb re this. What are your thoughts on this? It was a post on Bipolar Disorder On The Mighty.

I've been thinking about it and I too am addicted to hypo mania. If you think about it who wouldn't love feeling happy most of the time, feeling positive most of the time, smiley.

For me personally I enjoy the buzz I get and the feeling of normality. If I'm going to be honest with you all I haven't been on my meds since mid November. I feel amazing. Like properly generally genuinely happy. I'm not acting strange or anything, not speaking a million miles an hour, not having racing thoughts, not feeling particularly dangerous. I just feel human. I haven't told anyone irl and I'm not planning on cause for once I feel like a proper person. As you are all aware I'm non compliant with my meds anyway. This last time I lasted about 188 days on them. I couldn't even make it an even 200 days yeah I'm disappointed in myself as yet again I'm a screq up and have genuinely screwed myself over. Yet I feel great for it. Ok I'll admit i had bad side effects (tiredness, hangover effect, sore head, feeling sick) but this time it's really been the best thing I have done. I feel I'm thinking clearer for doing this. No-one has noticed a changed in me (family, friends, professionals) I'm clearly a con artist who can hid all of this.

I must be addicted to this feeling how else could you explain being non compliant and then this feeling I'm experiencing?

What's your thoughts on this subject?

I can certainly understand why someone would feel like this - however it's important to be careful and to not let things get out of hand. I think one still needs to take Meds as prescribed especially. Hypomania isn't meant to last and the Crash that happens later can be especially painful. This is just my opinion! Hopefully other people with more experience on the Subject will be able to provide better and more useful insight! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Miss Laura, your Family, your Friends, EVERYONE and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

My thoughts on this subject? HA. I consistently complain to my pdoc and to my therapist because meds barely touch anxiety and depression - but they sure do take away euphoric hypomanias! Seems like an unfair trade-off.

I still don't understand their logic, but some of what they say makes sense (especially about my lack of anger control when I'm not on meds), so...

I'm addicted to hypomania too. A former pdoc of mine said that (hypo)mania has similar effects to the brain to doing cocaine. No wonder it's addictive. It has helped that I found some stability with no depression and usually mild anxiety. When I was rapid cycling a few years ago I would intentionally trigger hypomania just to feel that high only to crash a week or so later.

Yeah, the crash is nooo fun.

Same here. I remember when I was first googling around to figure out my symptoms I actually stumbled upon some web pages about cocaine because the effects are so similar.

I never used to notice it, but in hindsight I think I was (am) also "addicted" to hypomania. I feel like I need it to accomplish the things I want and perform my best at work, or at least to compensate for the depressions with some bursts of high performance. When I'm not hypomanic for a long time I get really anxious and afraid that it's gone forever and I feel like I can't keep juggling my life without it.

Everything's roses until you become floridly hypomanic and start running down the street naked...

I agree with bicyclist on this one. I love the feeling until I completely lose my mind and begin acting like a lunatic (actually—I love the feeling even then and more for a while but I am then insane so the trade off is not worth it). It’s unfortunate.

Why do drug addicts enjoy drugs? Because it feels good of course.

Those of us with Bipolar get our Hypo/ Mania and it’s often a glorious feeling , we can do a hundred things at once, colors are vibrant and they even sound amazing. We need less sleep we have more time to soar, our thoughts expand things we normally couldn’t imagine , we are smarter, lighter and holy hell its as good if not better than sex.

What happens when the buzz wears off for a drug addict ?? They chase down more of it... maybe start making some poor decisions , lapse on self care ? Effects family , friends and jobs. They need another fix.

We start to lose Hypo we often push to stay awake, use caffeine , energy drinks , certainly have stopped our meds, why would we want anything to stop the high?? we try whatever we can think of to maintain feeling so fabulously alive and brilliant and knowing much of the worlds secrets.

What do drug addicts and Bipolar hypo/manic people have in common ?? We will all crash and burn and leave a path of destruction in our wake. We will need to make amends, we will have to take responsibility for any health problems we have caused , possible legal issues , hopefully we still have our jobs whether paid or volunteer. Saying I’m sorry does not always make things all better again . Family and friends can get burned out over time emotionally and financially.

So would I like to stay at my fun Hypo level ??? Sure I would, is it fair to my husband , family and friends to basically want to stay high because it feels good to me?? Of course not , while we think the colors are vibrant and the world is Shiny , we often can’t see what we are talking doing or being for others ... our partners still need us level minded, our children need us capable to care for them , our friends might get tired of being blown off or feeling used, our bosses still need the work done.

When Hypo/mania hits whether we realize it or not but we get selfish and don’t even notice.

I owe it to my husband, family and friends to be the best stable dependable person that I can be. I love them, they deserve the best me possible.

Will I struggle with hypo/mania and depression ? Yes of course but we all have to learn our triggers and subtle things that usually lead us down a road that might look so inviting .. but it’s about being proactive in taking care of ourselves. Listening to others if they ask you how your doing because they are seeing xyz happen right in front of them .... and then it’s take a look at yourself and make better choices. Call your Pdoc or T or whoever you need for help.

Anyway this is just my thoughts on Bipolar and our responsibilities to ourselves and others

Hypomania is "intoxicating" for me. But I wouldn't say I am addicted to it because I don't think I have any control of when it is going to happen or how long it will last. Though there are times I wish I could. I was addicted to alcohol with which I self-medicated. I could control when that was going to happen.

Generally I like hypomania at the time, unless l I become aware of what is going on and have some thoughts of self-care that there is going to be a crash coming . But sometimes I think that this bout of hypomania will be different and this time it will last. None of mine have lasted...

I spoke to my Therapist today.... I eventually told her about what's been going on. Took about 40 mins to tell her but I came out and told her I'm off my meds and I'm enjoying the buzz. We had a great talk but feel I shouldn't have told her. I'm not feeling like it was a bad decision for her to be let in. Now I'm stressing about next week's session. I'm in 2 minds to tell someone else. I feel like such a loser for not even making it to 200 days on my meds since my last non compliance. Why am I an idiot re med taking. I think I genuinely do enjoy these periods of hypo mania and that I'm truly in the best place I have been in years

I’m riding the hypomania train right now. It’s great while it lasts. I haven’t been sleeping much. It’s after 1 am, and I just finished oiling the fretboards on a couple guitars, and am staining a door right now. What’s next? Could be anything.

Good for you to tell your therapist, even though it wasn't easy! Telling her is good self-care!

Hypomania is intoxicating and at times enjoyable. You are not the only one who has felt that. For me, getting intoxicated with the hypomania is one of the toughest things about my bipolar disorder.

Hoping you can be kind to yourself...

When I was younger and got hypomanic, I loved to get in my car, get onto the hiway, and just fly. Windows open, radio blaring, passing cars. Just loved it.

Didn't see myself as a danger to anyone else on the road, as I was the greatest driver ever. Got my first speeding ticket at 17. Nowadays, I try to curb that drive (pun intended). Can't afford the speeding tickets, and kind of realize I'm no Mario Andretti these days and never was.

Other drivers are now safe on the roads (at least from me).

I tried talking to a supposed "friend" last night what a waste of time and effort. She basically ignored my questions and snubbed me. By the time she did speak to me 6 hours into starting to talk to me btw I gave up even talking about things. She was so uninterested in me. It's always all about her. She actually came out and asked if I was on my meds as doh I'm talking about not actually having bipolar. I just told her I was on them as why bother she doesn't care. Tried talking to her today but she's ignored me so I give up.

Tried telling another friend today but again it was all about her when she did ask how I was doing she kept butting in with more news or info from her life.

Why do I even bother

The post by ~Christina that the above excerpt references is brilliant! She summed up precisely my views on this subject.