Need to stop

I've been go-go-go for over a week now and it's kinda driving crazy and I don't know what to do I've been listening to calming music and taking Ativan but the Ativans starting to not work well and the music doesn't really help calm me down too much.
Now I would call my pdoc but I think she's kinda useless.I've only seen her twice and I don't trust her with the preciousness of my brain. I'm almost tempted to go into my old meds and find something sedating that worked in the past like Seroquel or Zyprexa although zyprexa gives me akathisia and that won't help with sleep. I have some left over clozapine too would taking just one hurt with the blood count thing?
I don't see my therapist until next week and not my pdoc until March, but like I said they're useless

Hey @spikes I am not sure what you want to hear. I think your psyche should be contacted even if you think she is useless. Is she not the person who prescribed the Ativan? I do not think you should start up other medications without a doctor overseeing things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by spikes I've been go-go-go for over a week now and it's kinda driving crazy and I don't know what to do I've been listening to calming music and taking Ativan but the Ativans starting to not work well and the music doesn't really help calm me down too much. Now I would call my pdoc but I think she's kinda useless.I've only seen her twice and I don't trust her with the preciousness of my brain. I'm almost tempted to go into my old meds and find something sedating that worked in the past like Seroquel or Zyprexa although zyprexa gives me akathisia and that won't help with sleep. I have some left over clozapine too would taking just one hurt with the blood count thing? I don't see my therapist until next week and not my pdoc until March, but like I said they're useless

It was actually my last pdoc who rx'd the ativan I've only seen this gal twice

I called my therapist and she's gonna see me tomorrow

Good. Whatever you do, I strongly recommend against playing with your meds without supervision. What if you are the one person who has a horrific Clozaril accident? That would be awful.

I'm just gonna use this thread for updates and jazz. I tried going for a walk to calm down but then it felt like I was in a movie and there were cameras behind the trees and a beast following me. I took an Ativan when I got home and I'm a little better now but I just feel... idk I just want to be knocked out for a few days. Going to group tonight. I wont fiddle wit me meds either

I think the one Ativan was a good idea and going to group A+++.

Hope things are a little better for you now!

Thinking of you, and hoping things are a bit better?

I fell asleep pretty easily last night (tbh I got high as ****). Woke up the same though. I get my injection and see my T this afternoon. Group wasn't that helpful yesterday, they just told me to go skiing more.

edit: I went for a 45 min. run and then an hour of walking and I feel somewhat calm now. I hurt, but I hope this lasts and I can cancel my T appt today

Back from therapy. She said consider the hospital if it gets overwhelming/unsafe. She wants me to get tested/treatment for my supposed ADHD and thinks that will help. I took an Ativan a while ago and I'm actually feeling really calm. Today has had a few lulls in the energy/agitation.

Your therapist wants you to get tested for ADHD, but do you want to do it? Don't do it just because she wants you to. Do it because you want to do it.

Just a fair warning: ADHD testing will typically involve an IQ test somewhere along the way, and let me tell you... getting an FSIQ is expensive because the IQ testing is typically accompanied by questionnaires and interviews. We're talking about over $1000 w/o insurance. But if you have a deductible plan, then you'll pay over $1000 for it too.

I kinda want to find out. I mean it'd be nice to get treatment for it, but maybe I won't do it if it costs that much and the testing sounds pretty intensive.

I forgot that you can get an abbreviated IQ test for ADHD, but even then, that is at least $500-750 because there are still interviews and questionnaires... plus the impulsivity testing.

I have never heard of ADHD testing being done w/o some kind of IQ test. It's because they need to rule out a bunch of stuff like learning disabilities, and they need to see how your attention/concentration IQ subscores compare to verbal reasoning, spatial reasoning, etc. subscores.

Personally, having done IQ testing on two separate occasions, I don't think it's worth it unless you're seeking specific treatment recommendations and your therapist is out of ideas. Some doctors do care about whether or not you've done ADHD testing before they prescribe meds, but ignoring that, you have to consider if you really care for specific recommendations. If you think your therapist can work with you to figure out your "deficits," then she can help tailor your treatment. But if you don't think she is competent -- and that is fine to believe -- then go for the IQ testing. But I would personally go with the FSIQ via WAIS because it is far more comprehensive and will get you very tailored treatment recommendations. I know affordability is a large factor, but if you can afford the extra $500, I would go that route.

Thanks for the advice on the ADHD testing, Blue. I think I'll wait until my next pdoc appointment and ask her what she thinks.

Today I woke up euphoric, then I went for a run and was too pumped so I went for a walk after (when my f'n neighbor's dog made me turn around on one road, I'm not about to get attacked by a pitbull) where I was just super agitated and then a school bus drove by and I started crying/screaming. Feel good right now though, not manic or mixed or depressed or even stressed. Who knows what the rest of the day will bring.