Bipolar check-in #43

Victoria'smom · Feb 16, 2020 at 09:47 PM

Saw my mom tonight. She asked why I'm not studying for college testing. I played it off as laziness, Not that I'm struggling. I don't feel I'm really struggling because mood wise I'm okay. We went on a walk and talked so there was less distractions. They really want me to get my degree and become a working member of society. My reality and their's are so different. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough? I know I can study for tests and pass them but I kinda have to understand English for a prolong time to really get it and pass. Even If I do get a degree. Then what? I can't even be alone for a full day. let alone out.

Fuzzybear · Feb 16, 2020 at 09:47 PM

@bpcyclist - dermatology

I have horrible allergies and a tendency to horrible skin rashes (which I don't like talking about, its a trigger to me..)
I use baby aveeno on my face
I was allergic to all the creams prescribed grrr
My face is ''rash'' free with baby aveeno
although washing my hair is a major pita
I even have super sensitive ears (what sort of a bear am I..)

~Christina · Feb 16, 2020 at 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

This is me lengthening my post to at least 8 characters....

I can understand what your saying for sure. I have a really boring Bipolar life compared to many, which is a good thing lol

Daonnachd · Feb 16, 2020 at 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

9 hours for a bagel? You are quite the father. Have a great drive.

So, @bpcyclist and moose, yes, 9 hours for bagels, very good bagels. Thing is, it's a community I lived in for a few years in my twenties, so it's like going home for a few hours. We walked out on the jetty and visited a couple of bookstores. It was great fun, but I'm definitely still ill.

Have a good week, all.

bizi · Feb 17, 2020 at 12:00 AM

Wow!!!!! just for bagels! they must be fabulous!
Maybe you will have some good bonding conversation?

My friend told me that my order of CBD just came in and I will have it by noon monday! after I get my blood draw for my tegretol level.
I am so hoping it will work like klonipin! Fingers crossed!!!!!!!

I am a bit better tonight.
took down the christmas decorations! finally. Trees are still up though, just undecorated them.

Hubby will put them up in the attic above the car port. His back is bothering him so that may be a few days of sitting in the middle of the room in boxes.
plus 2 loads of laundry...
a tiny bit of paper work for work so it was a productive day.
Took some flowers and a card to a friend who lost her dog, she put him down....he was in kidney failure from diabetes. 13 years old been sickly for years....glad that she has another dog to love too though Mocha.
So I am really getting ready for bed soon...need to eat some peanut butter. Maybe I will get a jar to keep in my bathroom cupboard? Since I am having it nightly now, seems to work great! no more heart burn from the tegretol!!!!
Sweet dreams to you! and thanks for reading!
bizi

Tryingtobehappy5 · Feb 17, 2020 at 12:13 AM

Just about finished work, day 6 then i have 3 off which I am not excited about. I spent all my last days off just laying in bed, I am not so depressed anymore though so Im not sure how I will do now. I made a schedule for tomorrow which I will try to follow, I am not very good with organization.

Tonight will likely be my last night drinking alcohol if I can stick to my plan of quitting when I run out. I feel very anxious about it even though I still get to drink tonight. I hope I can do it. Tomorrow is family day here, I think it would be nice to quit for family day. My family is so important to me and I know my drinking hurts them.

Wild Coyote · Feb 17, 2020 at 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Saw my mom tonight. She asked why I'm not studying for college testing. I played it off as laziness, Not that I'm struggling. I don't feel I'm really struggling because mood wise I'm okay. We went on a walk and talked so there was less distractions. They really want me to get my degree and become a working member of society. My reality and their's are so different. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough? I know I can study for tests and pass them but I kinda have to understand English for a prolong time to really get it and pass. Even If I do get a degree. Then what? I can't even be alone for a full day. let alone out.

Hi MM,
I am so very sorry you are having to deal with/accept some major limitations. I do, too. I'd love to be working or an occupation other than this (not PC)!

It's tough when family does not "understand" what we have to live with.
It's sad when anyone is going through so much distress and may not be heard at all

I hope your symptoms let up/disappear.

Practice lots of Self-Compassion. you deserve it!

bizi · Feb 17, 2020 at 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5

Just about finished work, day 6 then i have 3 off which I am not excited about. I spent all my last days off just laying in bed, I am not so depressed anymore though so Im not sure how I will do now. I made a schedule for tomorrow which I will try to follow, I am not very good with organization.

Tonight will likely be my last night drinking alcohol if I can stick to my plan of quitting when I run out. I feel very anxious about it even though I still get to drink tonight. I hope I can do it. Tomorrow is family day here, I think it would be nice to quit for family day. My family is so important to me and I know my drinking hurts them.

Good luck with tapering if you can, .... don't just cut out entirely. cut back a bit then steady for a few days then cut down even more.
I am giving up alcohol for lent ash wednesday. for 6 weeks. I do that often. And usually lose weight to but gain it back.
need to get serious....
bizi

~Christina · Feb 17, 2020 at 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

Wow!!!!! just for bagels! they must be fabulous!
Maybe you will have some good bonding conversation?

My friend told me that my order of CBD just came in and I will have it by noon monday! after I get my blood draw for my tegretol level.
I am so hoping it will work like klonipin! Fingers crossed!!!!!!!

I am a bit better tonight.
took down the christmas decorations! finally. Trees are still up though, just undecorated them.

Hubby will put them up in the attic above the car port. His back is bothering him so that may be a few days of sitting in the middle of the room in boxes.
plus 2 loads of laundry...
a tiny bit of paper work for work so it was a productive day.
Took some flowers and a card to a friend who lost her dog, she put him down....he was in kidney failure from diabetes. 13 years old been sickly for years....glad that she has another dog to love too though Mocha.
So I am really getting ready for bed soon...need to eat some peanut butter. Maybe I will get a jar to keep in my bathroom cupboard? Since I am having it nightly now, seems to work great! no more heart burn from the tegretol!!!!
Sweet dreams to you! and thanks for reading!
bizi

You have been busy !!’

So kind of you to reach out to someone who has needed to put there fur baby down. It’s such a hard decision but necessary as a pet parent.

Fantastic no heartburn !!!!

Hope you sleep well

Victoria'smom · Feb 17, 2020 at 02:31 AM

Thank-you WC!
I told my mom very vaguely that I'm having mental health issues. I've been having them for months. That my Dr's know, so does my therapist, and I'm taking my medication. She told me to take the time I need and she loves me. Then changed the subject

So she knows I no longer feel like a liar.

Tryingtobehappy5 · Feb 17, 2020 at 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

Good luck with tapering if you can, .... don't just cut out entirely. cut back a bit then steady for a few days then cut down even more.
I am giving up alcohol for lent ash wednesday. for 6 weeks. I do that often. And usually lose weight to but gain it back.
need to get serious....
bizi

Thanks for the support bizi. I dont think I can taper, I drink anything in sight until I pass out or something else bad happens. I am prepared to be a little sick maybe, I already feel somewhat sick during the day when not drinking and once I couldnt eat for days after quitting but I dont think it should be that bad this time.

Good luck to you in giving it up for lent, I do remember other times you have done that, from what I remember you generally do well and seem to cope well. I hope it goes smoothly for you.

Feb 17, 2020 at 07:01 AM

I'm scared of coronavirus. I ordered my mom a custom pair of shoes online and the company said that everything was made in California. ("Made in the USA!") Well, apparently not for custom stuff because I looked at the tracking history and it's coming from Ganzhou, China!! It's being EXPEDITED by FedEx!! Noooooo!

I read that coronavirus can last up to 9 days on a surface, so I'm just going to leave the package in the lobby of my apartment building. Basically, it'll be dropped off there and I'm going to let it sit. If someone wants to steal it, then they'll definitely get what's coming to them. I don't want to leave a $75 package unattended in the lobby, but I'd rather NOT bring coronavirus into my apartment!!

Anyways, mood is alright. I didn't sleep much last night on this lowered dose of rexulti. I'm still pacing, too. It really sucks. But, I hope that I won't pace much once the med leaves my system.

Wild Coyote · Feb 17, 2020 at 10:05 AM

Hi blue!

I am sorry you are still pacing. I hope you are not losing too much sleep. I am concerned about you.

If you are concerned about contamination, your plan make some sense.
Hopefully there is no contamination. If someone picked up the package, they'd be from your building?

Do you have to work today? Have any snow?
I hope you have a good day!

bizi · Feb 17, 2020 at 10:15 AM

I think I am a bit better today....not such rushed. Less typos here etc.
bizi

Feb 17, 2020 at 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Hi blue!

I am sorry you are still pacing. I hope you are not losing too much sleep. I am concerned about you.

If you are concerned about contamination, your plan make some sense.
Hopefully there is no contamination. If someone picked up the package, they'd be from your building?

Do you have to work today? Have any snow?
I hope you have a good day!

I am not losing a ton of sleep, but definitely some. It's frustrating for sure.

I don't know about the package. Technically anyone can enter into the lobby and take a package because the package is not behind the locked doors.

I think someone has taken my package by mistake on two different occasions because I found them outside my apartment door like a day after they were allegedly delivered. (FedEx, USPS, UPS, DHL, etc can't come in the building because they don't have keys and they definitely wouldn't want to waste time dropping off packages in front of everyone's door because the building is huge, so I am pretty sure another resident took my stuff by mistake and returned it.) But yeah, if someone took my coronavirus package, they would be screwed and instantly regret it!!

My mom said to return the package, but there is no way in hell I am picking it up for return to FedEx. Then I'll possibly get coronavirus on my hands. Also, because they are a custom pair of sneakers, they are non returnable anyways. I just think what this company did was sleazy, especially since they pride themselves in being American made. Yeah, their NORMAL shoes are made in the U.S., not the online customs!!

Victoria'smom · Feb 17, 2020 at 10:32 AM

I'm struggling with trusting myself. I'm realizing just how sick I "was" and how no one caught it. I put "was" because I'm still sick but I can't tell how sick. I'm disappointed my husband didn't tell on me. I think even he's going to be shocked at how sick I "was". Do you think they could do med raises now to prevent that from happening again?

SQLVR · Feb 17, 2020 at 11:06 AM

I'm still getting used to a recent med switch from zyprexa to abilify. Still feeling a bit manic. Hope things will calm down soon.

Jester's Rags · Feb 17, 2020 at 11:20 AM

Still feeling pretty good but I’m still having some mania symptoms. I’m taking my meds as directed too. I wish they worked like an antibiotic. One course of meds and you’re good to go. I’m not complaining though. Feeling much better than 2 months ago.

bpcyclist · Feb 17, 2020 at 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Here I sit my eyes leaking. I don't have any idea why- allergies? I started reading An Unquiet Mind again. I don't think I've ever finished it but I must've started it at least once before because I remembered the scene where the plane almost crashes on the school playground.

Went out to dinner with a friend this afternoon. Now I'm broke except for that bottle return money. That'll have to be gas money. I know- I shouldn't have wasted my money going out to eat...

I watched a funny video last night on Netflix- a stand-up comedian named Tom Papa. He was like a nerdy version of Lewis Black but without so much swearing.

Watched another video of Andy Behrman. He was giving a speech to a room of people. He called himself a "professional patient". Hmm. Is that what we all are? I know I started another thread on this topic but he seems to be a very nervous person.

I went to my mom's house to water the plants. There are a lot! In a couple days, I'll go back and water a few of them that are every other day instead of once a week.

I see pdoc a week from Friday for a regular check up. I must say I don't think much has been going on bipolar wise. Oh and by the way, I decided to go back up to 150 of Seroquel instead of 100. And I got a shower and dried my hair and am in my clean bed. (I changed the sheets the day before yesterday.)

Has anybody here read An Unquiet Mind? It seems its a slow start.

I have read it a couple of times. I consider it to be the best, probably, of the bipolar memoirs I have read.

bpcyclist · Feb 17, 2020 at 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Wow you sure get around living lots of places lol ... You had a Dermatology practice? I think I saw you mention that before... Where was that located ? Big city or small town ? In one town to the West it’s just the Doctor and his wife , the other town I go to has a satellite office out of Nashville. They have hired staff. There’s such a vast different between small rural town and big city practice. Did you run practice with just your wife ?? I once worked with my first husband and it was very unhealthy, 24/7 together can be tough.

The funny thing is We actually have had 4 or 5 small earthquakes 2.5-3 over the last month .. most recently in Gatlinburg Tn last week was on the national news.

A cool APP is called QuakeFeed , it’s free and shows any earthquakes around the world. Very interesting if anyone is interested ..

Oh volcanoes and major earthquakes are terrifying to me ... yikes I can’t imagine living in an area that has such a higher risk/threat of damaging one. Eeeek !

Yeah, I was a general surgeon when at Vanderbilt. Went back and re-trained, as my bipolar was just starting to appear and I think I knew that that career would kill me young, given the hours. Derm was in Portland. My wife was an ED nurse I met at St. Thomas, actually. Over a stab wound to the chest at 3 in the morning. So romantic. But she did not work in my practice, thank the Lord in heaven. I had an awesome practice manager, who did everything. I just did my thing and she took care of everythng else.

I had no idea they were having tremors in E. Tennessee. Gatlinburg is probaby my favorite part of the state. It is just so beautiful there. Never heard of Quakefeed. Thanks for the link!

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Bipolar check-in #43

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bizi Bizi is bizi Member Since Nov 2005 Location: cajun country Posts: 10,848 18 43.8k hugs given	Feb 17, 2020 at 10:15 AM #334 I think I am a bit better today....not such rushed. Less typos here etc. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg.

SQLVR Member Member Since May 2011 Location: MA Posts: 209 12 49 hugs given	Feb 17, 2020 at 11:06 AM #337 I'm still getting used to a recent med switch from zyprexa to abilify. Still feeling a bit manic. Hope things will calm down soon.