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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 4,300 hugs
given |
#501
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bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
9 2,611 hugs
given |
#502
Quote:
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Innerzone, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
9 2,611 hugs
given |
#503
Quote:
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, giddykitty, Innerzone, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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Wild Coyote
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
9 2,611 hugs
given |
#504
Quote:
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, giddykitty, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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Wild Coyote
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
9 2,611 hugs
given |
#505
Quote:
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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Wild Coyote
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: U.S.
Posts: 2,570
7 8,123 hugs
given |
#506
I didn't have my Seroquel with me and did not take it last night. It felt terrible. I tossed, turned, had racing thoughts, a few dreams (but the kind when you are half awake), but was only half sleeping for a very small part of the night and could never go back to sleep. It has been a very long time since I went without Seroquel. Luckily, I have my bottle tonight, so at least I did not lose that!!
__________________ Bipolar 1 Disorder, Unspecified Anxiety Disorder |
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, giddykitty, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,471
(SuperPoster!)
16 2,548 hugs
given |
#507
I am writing from my desktop. Usually, I use my phone. I figured out my password to here and changed some other passwords online. Its time for me to take my meds and get into bed. Five a.m. comes early! I'll be back with you tomorrow- and fair warning: I'll be more verbose when I'm typing from here. Passwords! Gotta revamp 'em every so often!
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Loxapine 50mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, giddykitty, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
Posts: 2,116
18 3,379 hugs
given |
#508
Some of you are aware that we live in a small, close-knit college community and that my wife was let go late last year. Members of our community have taken up a collection and anonymously given us two postal money ordes worth over $850.
__________________ >< |
Anonymous328112, Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, giddykitty, Innerzone, Nammu, Polibeth, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Innerzone, Nammu, Polibeth, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,230
(SuperPoster!)
9 9,385 hugs
given |
#509
Daonnachd, that's wonderful. It's always good to have tangible proof people care.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Daonnachd, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Daonnachd, Wild Coyote
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 4,300 hugs
given |
#510
Wow! What a beautiful gift and opportunity to experience gratitude and humility. How precious. Thank you for sharing this story.
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Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Daonnachd, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Daonnachd, Wild Coyote
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,350
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.6k hugs
given |
#511
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Daonnachd, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Daonnachd, Wild Coyote
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,230
(SuperPoster!)
9 9,385 hugs
given |
#512
I forced myself to do laundry since I am in my last clean shirt right now. Two loads. I need probably 2 more but we'll have to get there gradually. This depression is not that bad but it is still kicking my butt when it comes to things like this. I also need to change my sheets and a bunch of dishes that stuck together in the dishwasher (my new dishes don't fit in there well).
I've been randomly googling my former assistants and have found that the worst of the worst are no longer practicing. I'm glad for this, not because I wish them ill but because they were truly bad therapists and nobody should be treated by someone incompetent. I can't remember the name of one of them but I wouldn't be surprised if she too has moved on. It's weird to see how few people from my past are still practicing. I would have done it forever so it's hard for me to understand quitting for another other reason but being forced into it. One of them probably was forced by a medical issue; he is working in another job now that he's probably more suited for. My favorite assistant ever isn't practicing now and that's sad; he was excellent. I wish I knew what happened to him. I heard rumors but not about work and I didn't believe the rumors. Anyway, I need to put those dishes in to soak so hopefully tomorrow I can get the gunk off more easily. Unfortunately I've been eating a lot of oatmeal and that turns into concrete when washed stuck to another bowl. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
Anonymous328112, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, giddykitty, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given |
#513
Quote:
I’m glad your feeling better.. just watch your sleep.... __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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bpcyclist, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#514
Daonnachd, thanks for sharing about the caring of people in your community. That's is heart warming. I'm glad their support will help you and your family ❤️.
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bpcyclist, Daonnachd, Sunflower123
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Daonnachd
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#515
My sleep is good. It's a little broken (I woke up 4 times), but I'm still getting an adequate amount.
I think I slept from 9pm until 4am? That's a solid 7 hours, which is good for me. I dislike getting 10 hours a night on rexulti. It's too much!! I used to get 7 a night prior to starting meds, so 7 is my "actual" normal. (I would go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 4am sharp without an alarm. Did that everyday since I was 9... Then it all changed when I started meds at 24. ) My therapist insists that I am sometimes hypomanic/manic even when I have "normal" sleep (like 7-10 hours), but I don't know about that. I'm sure she'll tell me today if she thinks so, though. But I guess there was one time I was getting 11 hours a night and I was speaking rapidly and tangentially, in a manic but almost psychotic manner (according to her). She said she couldn't follow me at all and that I was saying bizarre, nonsensical things. I had no idea at the time. She told me at the end of the appt that she was "concerned," and I was like, "concerned about what? huh???" (I was talking about how I wondered what would happen if a cow and a goat had a baby, and I made cheese out of the baby's milk... should I open a pizza shop? Yeah, I was not well... lol.) So I dunno. Sleep might not mean anything. We'll see today in about an hour and I'll update this thread. |
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, fern46, giddykitty, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#516
Quote:
I don't know if what I describe applies to you, but maybe. |
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bpcyclist, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#517
Quote:
The problem with me is that I get psychosis regardless of mood episodes, so the psychosis can impact my behavior as well and possibly make me appear "manic," which makes things confusing (to say the least). Fortunately, though, I have not had psychosis in a while. |
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Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#518
My Birthday went fine-- all plans fell through, which I as grateful for. That sounds weird, right? I wasn't up for a party. I didn't want to be around a bunch of family and friends and force hours of "fun" to happen. I just didn't want to deal with it. Well, lots of them couldn't come because of sickness so I spent a birthday with my mom and we went out to eat, came home, ate some cake and went to bed. It really was all I was wanting all along. It may be partially depression but the added stress of that situation just was too much. I truly am glad nothing happened in the end.
I came home early from work today. I got a bad quality check on a phone call. Well, it's my second one. I am very stressed out today and I was afraid of failing another monitor due to my major anxiety. I know leaving isn't a solution to the anxiety, but it's something I could afford to do and I needed it for my health. Before I continue let me explain to you the circumstance. I am in a period called "nesting", this is for my second round (new level of service) of training. Nesting is on the production floor "training"-- actually taking calls and assisting etc. Neither issue raised is major or much more than "coaching" required. But the reason they get "red flagged" is because my test scores in training were good. I had an 100% average so the higher your score, the less you're allowed to "pass with". Someone with a lower score is expected to make a few more mistakes and get graded a bit more leniently (that is -- maybe one minor mistake won't "red flag" them) It's kind of a crazy system but the idea is to help you. I'm not upset about being red flagged -- issues are issues, but I'm upset with myself that I keep making issues for myself. This job is hard enough and if I keep making mistakes they could result in major issues. Payouts or termination. Now we are nowhere near those two things right now. The issues were minor but had to be addressed but it strikes the fear button in my heart that I'm gonna end up making this situation worse than what it is. I just have to get through Monday and Tuesday next week before I see my psychiatrist. Maybe some med tweaks is whats in order to help with both depression and anxiety. We will see how that goes I guess. I don't currently take anything for anxiety, just a mood stabilizer, antidepressant and anti-psychotic. I just hope I find peace this weekend. I feel so stressed and all I want to do is sleep. Maybe that's the best solution for me - sleep. |
Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, downandlonely, giddykitty, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123
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~Christina
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#519
Quote:
I used to lack insight into my mood elevations. I still do sometimes, to a degree. But nowadays a light does eventually go on in my head and I realize I'm super charged. Like what you experienced, sometimes someone clues me in. It took me a while to understand what "normal" was. Growing up (and before medications), I saw my "normal" differently than I do now. When I have my "mood upswings", no one seems to panic anymore, unless it persists or escalates. |
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bpcyclist, Nammu, Sunflower123
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#520
It's a sunny day today, but chilly. A "good" me would go and take a walk in a little while, but I dislike taking walks by myself. Doing adequate exercise has been a real issue for me for a number of years now. It's odd, considering how much of an exercise enthusiast I used to be in my youth. I did take a short walk with my sister yesterday after our lunch together, which was very pleasant, I must say. I do take short walks with Hubby on weekends. I still love dance, but the closest I come to it is "car dancing". When I try to dance in my living room, I tend to peter out.
I don't quite know what I want to do with my hair. It hasn't looked as good as I would like. Yesterday, I was looking at photo albums and saw hair cuts I had that were wonderful. The problem is, that my hair has gotten curlier and curlier over the years. A friend suggested that I let it grow longer. I'm not sure how that would work out. Plus, I don't know if long hair on me now (in my late 40s) would look like I was trying to be younger than my years -- in a negative way. Though I know many women even older than me look great with long hair, but their hair isn't a curly mop. It would be way too expensive to get my hair straightened. Trying to do so with a blow dryer and flat iron is now impossible. Even my hair stylist refuses to try. When I wear it pulled back, my husband says I look like a child. Not what I'm going for! Last edited by Anonymous46341; Feb 21, 2020 at 10:51 AM.. |
Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, giddykitty, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123
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~Christina
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Closed Thread |
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