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Victoria'smom
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#21
I ate cold food today I have my headphones on life's too loud. I hate being isolated.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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*Beth*
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*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
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Member Since: Jul 2019
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#22
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UGH. I'm so sorry you have to experience that kind of mega-anxiety. I have it, too. Is it a part of delusional psychosis? __________________ |
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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#23
Pdoc and T don't call it anything they just note it. The closest my T got to naming it was asking if paranoia is isolating. I'm guessing it's psychosis but it's hard for me to label it that because I'm able to function "normally" while having these types of thoughts. Yes they definitely impair my life but only my husband knows something is up with me often he doesn't know what it is until a couple of weeks in. I'm good at hiding so I'm not sure if it's full psychosis. I often have the wrong affect so I can be terrified and laughing and joking. I'd be one of those people that "We never knew anything was wrong.". So that makes treatment that much harder.
Come to find out the other day, my husband wanted me hospitalized during that episode but didn't want to violate my trust so he didn't say anything. So he's glad that the fear of jail is gone.
Possible trigger:
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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yellow_fleurs
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#24
I'm sorry you're experiencing that. It sounds scary. I can kind of relate and wondered at one point if I had psychosis, but now I am starting to think this has more to do with past experiences and my mind throwing out fear-based reactions that are out of proportion. It's almost like OCD/fear/trust issues all mingled into one for me, if that makes sense.
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#25
Yes, I understand the fear/anxiety thing. Makes me feel like I'm crazy going crazier.
I'm so glad you're posting, MM. I hope you are feeling supported by us, and I sure do appreciate your openness. __________________ |
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Victoria'smom
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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#26
Quote:
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__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
unaluna
Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention
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#27
My doctor mentioned it to me a while ago because it was going around up here, but i told him i rarely eat out. Actually now i rarely even GO out. But i am kinda oldish.
It was in the news more last year or so. I havent heard much lately. Is there any danger in getting the vaccine? I get all the old people vaccines - i have a sore arm for a while, but otherwise they dont bother me. I HATE being sick, even a LITTLE uncomfortable. If anything really bad ever happens to me, idk. Unless i can ride it out sleeping. |
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Victoria'smom
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#28
s there any danger in getting the vaccine? No there's no harm in it. Just cost and explaining why I want it.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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#29
It's funny because every therapy week, I want therapy weekly. On off weeks I never want to go back. I'm still wearing my headphones today but my understanding today is better. I really haven't have overwhelming worry of getting sick. I'm cautious today but I had a couple of chips. I'm not fully confident to have uncooked food but I will get there, soon. My family keeps sending me things about the flu, and other virus and I want them to stop but I don't know how to tell them nicely without them worrying about me. The know I have bipolar, they don't agree. They feel my problems are due to my husband and poverty (which is also my husband's fault). They know I use to have bad coping mechanisms but they view it as teen angst.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Victoria'smom
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#30
So I'm going out with my mom tomorrow. possibly contaminated food/drink will be a part of it. I'm nervous. I can bring water but eating there is going to be a requirement. Why does this have to be so hard? It's like a fairground food so the risk is high. I'm confident I can act normal and internally freak out. I can't bring my own food/hand sanitizer any suggestions for tomorrow?
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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MSpyker
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Location: Portugal
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#31
Hi ^^ I hope you are getting stronger regarding that issue. I'm a molecular biologist so I might think I can help you with some motivation to overcome "contamination" phobias.
Tell me, how did it start in first place? |
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Victoria'smom
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#32
There was a comment on facebook and it spiraled from there.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Victoria'smom
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#33
How do you convince yourself your food and meds are not contaminated? That you'll get sick without them?
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Grand Magnate
fern46
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#34
I would do the analysis and review the numbers. I'd estimate how many meals I've had that didn't make me sick and how many doses of meds worked out ok. Then I'd write down how many times I've actually gotten sick and was able to prove it was my food or meds to blame.
Then I'd be able to show myself that contamination is very statistically unlikely. After that, I'd revisit any time a med or food had actually made sick. I'd remind myself that while it was uncomfortable, I made it through and I'm ok. |
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Victoria'smom
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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#35
I ate because that would look really bad tomorrow. We're going to be out all day tomorrow and I was told I could eat today or eat tomorrow but I have to eat. Depending on how my appointment goes I'm going to see if my T can see me weekly at least for a little.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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#36
Saw pdoc she raised my lexapro. She told me the cotaminiation issue is anxiety not paranoia. She thanked me for being so open. My husband said the not understanding English is anxiety. I see her in two months.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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