Feeling Defeated and Scared of Med changes

I went to my pdoc and talked to her about temporary disability. She said if she writes me out, I need to do a program and have all my meds changed. That scares me. I work in a mental health setting and have worked in others in the past, and I am afraid I would see people I know there. I am really scared of med changes though. I feel I've been through a lot of med changes, the side effects always scare me, and I've had some bad experiences that make me want to just give up. When she said "change all my meds", it triggered me, as there's certain medication I'll refuse to take due to extreme side effects listed.

The other option would be going to therapy more consistently, since I admit I haven't been as consistent due to me feeling I need a therapist who is a better fit. If I go to therapy once a week, it isn't enough for her to write me out. Another option would be for me to just quit my job, take a break and deal with temporarily not having the income, and then look for another job when I am stable again. Or I can just look for another job while I'm working, although that is an extremely stressful choice. I think I'm going to find a therapist and start there first.

I can tell my pdoc feels she has exhausted a lot of options as far as certain meds go. Have you gone through frustration about many med trials either failing or no longer working? Some meds of mine, I've had success with, but they stop working. Just wondering if anyone can relate, since I need a lot of support right now.

Is IOP your only option is there a drop in group or something you can do daily? Can you travel out of the area for a little and get treatment? Do you trust your pdoc? Can you get therapy more then 1x a week?

Hi Raven,

I am sorry you are having such a hard time.

While reading your post, I was reminded of the first time I went out on short-term disability. It was very difficult to make that decision. I had a very supportive doctor, thankfully. She made no additional stipulations, as I was seeing her once a week at the time. I was/am very resistant to meds, but she and I did not know that yet!
We still had many to try at that time.

I really get down if it is time to try another med or another new set of meds. I am tired of all of the side-effects, the disappointment of meds not working, etc. Sometimes, especially when meds were not working, I resented them terribly. (Right now I am getting some positive effects from a couple of meds now; yet, am not looking forward to the day it is time to again change.)

I, too, worked in mental health and was very concerned I would be seen by clients. I was concerned enough that I entered a program in a nearby state. I did run into 2 clients there, but just two and we had a great time together!

Therapy. I am sorry you do not feel your therapist is a good fit. Is there anything you can do about this? Might you be able to change therapists? Of course, none of us can be guaranteed a good fit upon changing again. One strategy I had used last year was to have a serious talk with my therapist (she is also my pdoc) about what I feel I need vs. what she feels I need and also how some of her behaviors , which she feels are benign, bother me in a very big way. It was not the easiest discussion ever; yet, it was not nearly the most difficult! She was quite receptive and ... the talk has truly cleared the air for us. I can feel the change of energy in the room when we meet now. Our talks actually helped us to feel a bit closer. I also feel it is very "freeing" to know (via experience) we can have these difficult talks with our care givers.

Some pdocs look around for a psychopharmacologist who can provide a consult re: additional med options when a pdoc and client are at their wit's end on med options.

I had been very reticent to allow any pdoc, except the one I had for over 20 years, to touch my meds. However, the new pdoc immediately changed them and I have done better since. I have a ways to go yet; but still, better. Progress!

I hope you will find options which turn out to be truly helpful for you!
I am sorry about the circumstances, Raven; yet, it's a treat to have you around!

Please keep us posted!

I tried to bargain with my pdoc to do something other than IOP, but she seems to insist. I am fine with individual therapy more than once per week or some other type of daily structure. Usually my pdoc and I are on the same page... not always, but most of the time. So it is very frustrating to me that changing all my meds around + IOP seems to be my only choice. Maybe I can talk to her about some kind of support group instead of IOP as another option. I just don't know if she'll be on board with it, but it is a good idea and worth a try.

Thanks, WC!! Thanks for sharing your experience, and I'm glad your pdoc has been receptive to what you need. I actually called my old T, because I am willing to give it a try if I can't find a new one and will have a talk with her about my concerns. But now, she doesn't have availability but said she will see what she can do and will call me in a few days. So I am in the process of calling many therapists in the area (in case I can't get in with my old one), and it has been a struggle. I will keep trying.

I can relate to a lot of meds not working out, it very much sucks
(I am allergic to a lot of meds) If a pdoc said to me to ''change all meds'' I would also find that triggering. I'm sending hugs

Well I think she’s being a jerk..

If you go out on STD it’s money YOU have paid into so it’s not like her tax dollars are being used...

As for changing all your meds ? That just makes no sense, yes Med changes might take place but to say ALL meds will change ? That should not be done anyway. And furthermore I think everyone has a few meds that they just absolutely refuse to take and that is our personal right.

Your working in the field is a perfectly legit concern if you do an IOP or PHP. you don’t want to run into people you deal with professionally.

I guess I would agree to try much more frequent therapy sessions, but if they don’t work you will have to decide just how much control this Pdoc of yours can have over your life.

I’m sorry this is happening to you

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Thank you. That is exactly how I feel. I really thought she would be understanding of my situation, so I'm definitely very upset with the outcome of my visit with her.

Hey @xRavenx
Everything else aside...I do not understand why she would want to harm you like that. Why switch all your meds? That doesnt make any sense and its irresponisible.

It is correct to say "all meds change". I get antsy when that needs to happen as the only change I would accept is less meds. That may be what you end up with. Just a positive hope for xRavenx.

I have never in my life heard of a pdoc say "We're just going to have to change all your meds and admit you." Like, ever. That's just crazy talk. I think you might need a new psychiatrist.

Yeah, it sounds really extreme. I am really disappointed in my pdoc and have some thinking to do about whether to switch, although that is risky in itself.

I have heard this said - but I was experiencing Lithium toxicity and bordering on comatose at the time.

It really doesn’t make sense for your pdoc to change all your meds. If it ain’t broke then why fix it? Are you able to ask them if they literally meant that they would swap out all your meds? Perhaps (hopefully) s/he was just exaggerating.

I really, really hope that it was an exaggeration.