Outside of a diagnosis

A question and a rant



I have “stolen” these words from someone else. I think this myself...

“we are not our diagnosis” has been said many times and I agree.

I have read that bipolar and “borderline” often co exists.

What is the difference between “borderline” and CPTSD from trauma?

“Stolen” words ... from a reply to someone who said they didn’t know how to “cope” aside from overwhelm..

“Outside of a diagnosis, we are human beings and emotional beings”

I am not wrong to feel hurt, betrayed and angry when a relative or other mistreats me and uses cruel words. (I am not a robot with no feelings)

They wanted to put me in a “diagnostic” box irl and gave the minimum “care” which is not care at all..

Emotions are not “wrong’` .. I consulted a doctor who said something horrible (about something non mh...) I am not ‘`wrong” to be appalled and disgusted by their lack of care and competence. Maybe it’s “natural” to want to avoid them as they slap on labels and paint worst case scenarios... and Grrrrrrrrr

I am not wrong to feel betrayed and hurt and angry... and suspicious and untrusting of these people who are supposed to ‘`serve” us but instead sit in judgment and are nowhere near respectful or careful with their words (often for no reason aside from their own issues and lack of adequate time ...). (jmo)

(not about anyone on pc)

I’d like when you advise in your posts: Not about anyone on PC.
It means you are very sensitive and emphatic towards what other people may feel.
Bipolar and BPD are different. They may co-occur but as any other disorder or mental illness can co-occur.
Maybe exist in both depressions and maniac moments. I think experts say so. More swings are timely very different. In bipolar disorder, in the different subtypes, maniac phases and depression ones last in time way more. They are larger periods of time.

Said that, bad professional exist in any branch. The only and last experience with my now, ex, orthopaedic surgeon was awful. Thus, he was pretty sexist calling me pretty. I’m a grown woman.
So, it’s natural, some psychiatrist also screw things up or they need more time and care.
If I’m not wrong your forest is in a developed country. Guess what it’s happening at these moments with all those people who need help in the Southern countries.

Keep fighting and look for the assistance you deserve.

You're not wrong. You are genuine. I wonder though in what ways is the anger and pain serving you? If it is fueling your growth where you're able to move through life like you want, then awesome. You're all set. However, if it feels like an anchor and it keeps you returning over and over to the same types of experiences with the same feels maybe its time to fully believe in your gut instinct that you're not wrong, say to heck with the cruddy advice you were given and navigate into something that brings you more of the emotions you prefer to experience. If you find a particular form of treatment invaluable and negative, seek out an alternative that better suits your needs. One size fits all never fit everyone.

Maybe those people who treated you poorly will grow. Maybe they won't. You cannot control. You can only influence and you have to decide if that is how you want to spend your energy? You know what these people feel like. You are also growing a good sense of who you can open your cave to a d find love and acceptance. You can choose. You don't owe any one your time or energy. It is a choice whether we have a diagnosis or not.

I'm not a diagnostic expert, so I'll let someone with better knowledge speak to the difference between the conditions you've mentioned. I do though agree they are boxes. The world we live in is full of much more interesting shapes. Try not to get lost in the geometry someone else paints for you. It is worth consideration and in many cases should be taken quite seriously, but it is just a sliver of your whole truth and it is only seen through a narrow lens.

Much love to you Fuzzy!

Thanks, I do try to be sensitive and empathic to others

I don’t talk about my forest. it’s not the USA.

Thanks fern. Much love to you

I was referring to Robin Hood’s forest.

You are sensitive and empathetic, Fuzzy!!!!!!!!

Hi Fuzzy!

It's wonderful you can identify and can feel your feelings!
Your feelings are never "right" or "wrong," they just are.

Feeling your feelings might help you to discern what you do and do not want in life.
You might decide I want more going for walks and less watching TV, for example.
Your feelings about each "going for walks" and "watching TV," may give you a clue as to what you'd like to have more of in your life.

If you have a notebook or another way to track this, maybe you could define what you want more of in your life?
I'll do this, too. I need to clarify just how to move forward in my life since my life has changed so drastically.

I think I'll describe the experience or activity.
Under that, I'll name my feelings and will write them down.

Next, I will decide if I want:

More Less None (In my life)

Every day, when I feel my feelings, I am going to use this format to list the experience or event. Then note my feelings. decide if I want more of that feeling or less of that feeling.

The types of activities/experiences which bring me more comfort, more joy and more positive feelings are those I want more of in my life.

FOCUS upon those activities/experiences you DO WANT MORE OF in your life. Talk about these. Think about how to build more of these kinds of things into your life.

The activities/experiences which have hurt you, have frustrated you, have brought you down have been noted. The associated feelings have also been noted.
You may read these in order to remind yourself; however, once you have processed the feelings, DO NOT FOCUS UPON THE THINGS YOU DO NOT WANT IN YOUR LIFE.
Once you have processed the feelings, don't focus on them, don't rant about them, don't let them rent ANY space in your head!

Leave as much space as possible the in your head and in your heart to think about, to talk about, to dream about the experiences/events/types of people YOU DO WANT IN YOUR LIFE.

When you have an experience that upsets you or brings you down, it's fine to talk about it and to write down your feelings.
Take time to process your feelings by: sharing your experience with others, journaling, etc.
Then drop it. Change your focus to something you DO WANT.

Let's say I go downtown and I unexpectedly see an old friend. I was so happy to see her! We had a great time visiting.
What are the feelings I was having/am having? Do I want more of this or less of this?

Let's say my cousin calls, is in a bad mood again and starts calling me names.
Which emotions am I feeling?
Do I want more or less of this in my life?

If you'd like to try this, or something like this, yet that better suits your needs, maybe give it a try? I am going to try it.

List and/or describe the event/experience.
Identify your feelings.
Decide if you want: More, Less, None.

Process your feelings by sharing, journaling, etc.
When done processing feelings associated with what you want "less" or "none" of, let them go.
When noting and processing the feelings elicited by an experience you do want, FOCUS UPON WHAT YOU DO WANT.

It's absolutely fine to share my feelings , all of them and of any type, here with everyone.
I am then going to then talk more about, share about, dream about the things I DO WANT.

Two very different examples:

I might come here and rant about how I went to a pub where the waitress was not friendly, she slammed the glasses and dishes on the table, she called Papa Bear a "jerk" and the bill was ridiculously high.

I might come here and post about a coffee shop I went to and the atmosphere was inviting, the people were very friendly, the coffee/tea was fantastic!

Share about either experience.

If you want MORE of any type of an experience, give this your focus and your attention.
Talk MORE about this positive experience and feel the helpful feelings associated with this happy experience when you think about it, talk about it, etc.

I am going to try this. I need more clarity and direction about exactly what I DO WANT in my life.
I am inviting you to try this with me if it interests you?' (If not, it's fine. :)

Much Love, Dear Friend