Anger in Mania

(The following is from a blog post I put up several years ago, but I was thinking about the different types of mania. I usually get euphoric mania, but not always as you'll read here.)


Who else gets angry mania?
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It happened again. A few weeks ago, I got angry. They say anger goes with mania or depression. But when I get angry I start screaming and swearing. I am not myself in any sense of the word. Sometimes, I get so worn out by it, that I flop down exhausted. Something must trigger it. I'm not sure what that is, though there is a sense of something from 30 years ago. I've heard of other bipolar people talking of this anger- of this rage- in mania or depression. I just break down, screaming and swearing, and last time- as wrote- I ended up walking down the middle of the snow-laden street in the dark in my pajamas without a coat. One time, it was so bad, I went to the ER. Of course, now I am almost afraid to go to the ER for both the lack of sleep and the waste of time if the insurance won't pay. What a mess. And why write all of this? Just was on my mind. Its a part of bipolar. Some people get so angry that they get arrested. Thank goodness that hasn't been me. But the intrusive thoughts sure do play. Oh boy, do they. That's one thing writing helps- its a PLACE for these thoughts to go, so they might have a home. Doesn't mean they won't be re-read, but once they're here, they really won't want to leave.

Hi Moose. I can have elated joyful manias, ferociously rageful/ranting ones, and ones that combine both (elated then one teeny trigger sets me off in the other direction...then back to elated again.) I've always had a bit of a temper, as have both parents and both siblings, but again, we can also be very upbeat happy types, too.

During manic rages, I can get quite scary. It has resulted in cops being called (or threatened to be called) and people crying. One therapist quit me out of fear, and yet I have never ever threatened any living creature/person, physically. My mouth has been the main cause and/or how I look during rages. [Steam coming from my ears, fire from mouth, red face, laser beam eyes.]

Most of my manic rages were caused by feeling threatened/cornered, under extreme stress, or very frustrated.

I call those times my "Tasmanian Devil" periods. Remember Looney Tunes?

I can relate. My mom used to trigger me big time when I lived with her, saying mean things, swearing and her husband would do the passive aggressive thing and threaten me physically, just by looking at me. So its no wonder I lashed back. Once, I left the house after one of these (different time than walking in the snow in my pajamas as is referenced above) and called my sister and told her so she called the cops. I got taken to psych emergency services and let go pretty quickly- after they laughed at me for saying some of the things I wanted to do to do to my mom's husband! It was a bad scene!

And yes I remember the Tazmanian devil. I can see how you might feel like that!

Rage would be the best word I could describe for what I experienced it and even that doesn't cover it. I was dissociated for most of the time when it was at its worst. After a lot of analysis and reflection I can only assume it came from the depths of my own as well as the collective subconscious.

Very scary times I hope to never repeat.

Lots of raging on people, not even knowing what it is I am saying or trying to say. I usually don't even remember what happened. I have no violence in me, thankfully, but I can rage on someone with the best of them. It is my least favorite part of myself and my illness.

I seldom get more than a couple days of fun , the world is shiny and colors sing

In the past 10 years .. My mania is always a angry hateful rage-y hot mess. But...... I internalize everythinggggg. I use to self harm daily, extreme episodes of Anorexia eating. Less than 120 calories a week and threats of feeding tubes

I can be manic and my husband not know until I finally can’t hide it and I literally cry out sometimes... it’s days other times it’s been weeks to a month.. psychosis starting for sure but I’m either able to catch it quick but there are times it just engulfs me so fast I do need IP to be safe from “ Myself”

I’m sure its possible I could turn my anger outward.. maybe snap or bytch someone out. I’m sure less than 1/2 % id ever physically touch someone.