Beth's Keeping Track Post

*Beth* · Jul 13, 2020 at 11:07 AM

Taking 10mg of Trilafon (perphenazine), 8a.m./2p.m. It's continuing to help keep a cap on that crazy anxiety. Also, afternoons are no worse than any other time of day, which is a great relief.

The only side effect I've noticed on the Trilafon is constipation and very frequent need to pee. The other night I couldn't sleep because of having to get up to pee every. single. hour. Also, logic tells me that urine retention (a common older AP side effect) can appear as frequent urination, since the bladder doesn't entirely empty, giving the sensation of having to pee.

I don't think I have a UTI, but I'm concerned about possibly elevated blood glucose and blood pressure that's still a somewhat high. I'm seeing my GP tomorrow to have my glucose checked and for a couple of other reasons. I dislike going to my GP, so I'm nervous.

The Amantadine...I'm not sure about it. It seems to reduce hand tremor, but not to a normal level. Considering that the med has so many side effects, I'm considering dropping it.

Covid is going crazy, especially in Florida, Texas, Arizona, and here in California. I read a post on Quora by a physician; he wrote that he believes life will be "post-covid" right about spring of 2022. That sounds logical to me. And not very pleasant. Who could have dreamed such a bizarre turn of life!

Achilles post-surgery is coming right along, as expected. 7/25 I can remove the boot. Then it's time to take really short walks. I'm excited! I imagine walking again and wow! Maybe by September I can walk around the block, or October.

*Beth* · Jul 16, 2020 at 06:37 PM

Okay, apparently the frequent need to pee is a uti, for which an antibiotic was prescribed.

Pdoc agreed to lower my Lamictal dose to 175mg. I had been at 225 for a long time. I've been taking Lamictal for about 3 years, total.

So I'll try the 175, see if it brings me more of myself. I'm wary, but I can always increase it if need be.

*Beth* · Jul 18, 2020 at 04:42 PM

Amantadine: I'm staying with it, for now anyway. It decreases tremor somewhat, at least.

Lamictal 175mg.: I do feel more fire, less ash. Also slightly hysterical The slight hysteria could, however, be the result of not having had a therapy appointment for nearly two weeks. I really, truly, with all my heart hope she'll be back on Monday.

I'm open to returning to 200mg Lamictal if I'm still slightly hysterical by Wednesday. If I have a T session on Monday and am full-on hysterical after that, I will question the wisdom of having lowered my Lamictal dose.

The first sign of hysterical reaction was late Thursday afternoon when my husband became exceedingly annoying When I was on 200mg Lamictal he was not annoying me much at all. Last night he left to take the garbage out and I was so pissed off at him (can't recall why) that after he had closed the front door I yelled "Go fu*k yourself up the azzz!"

Uh-oh.

So. We shall see how the coming 2 or 3 days look. And feel. Hopefully, I will not end up in handcuffs in IP, like last time.

Oh, and uti slightly improved, but not much. I'm sure I need a different antibiotic. Such funnnnnn

*Beth* · Jul 22, 2020 at 11:13 AM

I'm doing okay on the 175mg. Lamictal.

Unfortunately, I'm back on a very low dose of Seroquel so I can sleep. I don't understand how I can ever stop taking it unless I am okay with not sleeping, which I'm not.

I also don't know why my sleep has become so poor. Well, I'm sure when I can walk outside of my apartment it will help me sleep at night.

*Beth* · 06:56 PM

Well, wow.

So for the past 2 days I was feeling the brain waves of unmistakable med withdrawal. For two days there were more than a few times when I felt I might pass out. I couldn't understand what was going on, thought perhaps I'd skipped a medication. I went through my meds to check, to be sure I was taking everything I'm prescribed.

That was when I noticed that I have been taking (as prescribed) 425mg of Lamictal, not 225mg.

I'm surprised (and rather dismayed) that my pdoc didn't catch the error - but I blame telefu*k.

Therefore...
stop.
Hold on.
Stay-in-control.

*Deep breath*

Maybe dropping from 425 down to 175 was a bit harsh and would explain the withdrawal symptoms?

So it's back up to 275mg. After taking the 275 last night, I'm doing okay today,
except for the problem I'm struggling with about my therapist. She's been out sick for almost a month and won't be back until (at least) Wednesday. Today I am grappling with the thought that she is being held captive by Nazis. (Nazis, by default, are almost always my subject of paranoia.)

My Nazi-thought doesn't make sense to me, yet I cannot let go of the possibility. It's tiring, and causes anxiety.

I don't, however, believe that the paranoid notion is a result of decreasing Lamictal.

So. Here I am at 275mg, which I will titrate down to 175mg in a week.

And hope that my therapist's captors, if truly there are any, find something better to occupy themselves with than holding my therapist captive. She really needs to be back at work.

-----------------------------------
Lamictal: 275mg 7/23/20
(Goal: 175mg on 8/1)

*Beth* · Jul 25, 2020 at 08:52 PM

I've definitely regained some of my creativity today! I feel like doing art work, which hasn't happened in many months. I cut my hair myself and I'm pleased with it! Feeling creative feels amazing!

And then the downside. Had a fear thought that became obsessive and quickly approached the realm of delusional. Some hours later and I'm still struggling with it. I cannot live with those thoughts. So I cried. And I accept that, at least for now, I'd better go with 325mg. That's a decrease of 100mg from the original 425mg. better than no decrease. And hopefully I'll make it okay on 325.
-------------------

325mg. on 7/25
(no goal yet)

*Beth* · Jul 26, 2020 at 02:30 AM

Thank you, Christina

Wow, it feels great to set a healthy boundary by walking away and refusing to be triggered. Go me

*Beth* · Jul 26, 2020 at 04:02 PM

325mg might be a good dose to hang onto for a while. At this time I feel that my personality (including creativity) is in a better place as far as "being me" while still feeling stable (basically, not over-reacting to anger triggers or becoming anxious to the point of delusional thinking).

Interestingly, the delusional thinking isn't really present today. I do feel a little bit anxious (irrational anxiety); this might be the time to kick up my Trilafon dose to 12mg. with the hope of a balance between Lamictal and Trilafon that allows me to be myself, but still keeps my moods and thoughts within the stable space.

*Beth* · Aug 04, 2020 at 08:50 AM

15mg of Seroquel doesn't keep me asleep, so I've taken 25mg for the past 2 nights and it works like a charm. Which is somewhat unfortunate, because I don't want to take Seroquel. Sleeping for 6 hours solid is gold, though. I still have to go back and sleep some more, but the Seroquel helps that sleep be restful, too.

Leg coming along well, overall. My ankle is quite swollen, achilles tight, and sometimes there's pain in my heel. But I expected this type of surgery to be a slow healing process. The incision is healing beautifully.

I was supposed to see the surgeon a week ago for follow-up, but couldn't get an appointment until 8/17 "because of covid" - whatever that means. Not sure what covid has to do with seeing the surgeon in his office.

*Beth* · Aug 10, 2020 at 06:49 PM

Meds
300 Lamictal
75 Pristiq
12 Trilafon
2 Klonopin
2 tsp Amantadine
25 Seroquel

*Started taking a daily walk today w/ walking boot on. Still very short, but I'm getting there. Feels great to have a goal!

-----> Very important:

*Beth* · Aug 26, 2020 at 08:39 AM

Same dosages as above. Seroquel helps sleep sometimes, but not amazing. I added a dose of ZzzQuil for 2 nights and that knocked me out. I did have a hangover effect the following days, but geez...that sleep was sure nice.

Still have to sleep in the afternoon.

*Beth* · Sep 01, 2020 at 04:08 PM

Increased perphenazine (Trilafon) to 14mg to try to decrease anxiety.

I was taking 25mg Seroquel w/ ZzzQuil every night. That knocked me out to sleep, but was very sleepy the following day. Last night tried 12.5 Seroquel + Zzz. Worked okay, but didn't stay asleep as long. Still pretty sleepy today.

Pdoc said can't stay on Zzz long-term. I wish I would have asked her why not.

Moose72 · Sep 01, 2020 at 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Increased perphenazine (Trilafon) to 14mg to try to decrease anxiety.

I was taking 25mg Seroquel w/ ZzzQuil every night. That knocked me out to sleep, but was very sleepy the following day. Last night tried 12.5 Seroquel + Zzz. Worked okay, but didn't stay asleep as long. Still pretty sleepy today.

Pdoc said can't stay on Zzz long-term. I wish I would have asked her why not.

I think zzzquil is just benedryl.

*Beth* · Sep 01, 2020 at 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

I think zzzquil is just benedryl.

It is. Diphenhydramine. I read some about it and apparently using it for more than 2 weeks can cause low blood pressure and heart palpitations.

*sigh*

But not sleeping causes physical problems, too

*Beth* · Sep 07, 2020 at 08:42 PM

I'm not feeling as stable as I was before this week or so. This week-end has been especially challenging (ptsd issue that has knocked me back). Too much mixed, too much of feeling like a monkey in the zoo, swinging high/low/climbing up/climbing down.

I'm in a fair panic, frankly. Can't do this again. Realize that extreme heat and weeks of smoke do not contribute to one's well-being. Nevertheless...

Going to ask pdoc tomorrow if I can raise some doses (Lamictal & Trilafon, I'm thinking).

*Note to self: when you complain about feeling flat, remember how awful this feels.

Fuzzybear · Sep 08, 2020 at 07:20 AM

BethRags

*Beth* · Sep 08, 2020 at 09:20 AM

Thank you so much, Fuzzy.

*Beth* · Sep 08, 2020 at 05:06 PM

9/8/2020

Increase Trilafon to 16mg.
Increase Lamictal (from 300mg) to 350mg.

*Beth* · Sep 09, 2020 at 11:23 AM

Right now is a nightmare with Medi-Cal and Medicare (which SSDI signed me up for, and which I neither want nor need). Trying to secure my prescriptions. I literally do not have $400/month to pay for them. This bureaucracy is entirely insane.

sarahsweets · Sep 10, 2020 at 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Right now is a nightmare with Medi-Cal and Medicare (which SSDI signed me up for, and which I neither want nor need). Trying to secure my prescriptions. I literally do not have $400/month to pay for them. This bureaucracy is entirely insane.

If you need prescription covered from SSDI I think open enrollment you can switch

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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Jul 16, 2020 at 06:37 PM #102 Okay, apparently the frequent need to pee is a uti, for which an antibiotic was prescribed. Pdoc agreed to lower my Lamictal dose to 175mg. I had been at 225 for a long time. I've been taking Lamictal for about 3 years, total. So I'll try the 175, see if it brings me more of myself. I'm wary, but I can always increase it if need be. __________________
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Jul 26, 2020 at 02:30 AM #107 Thank you, Christina Wow, it feels great to set a healthy boundary by walking away and refusing to be triggered. Go me __________________
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Aug 10, 2020 at 06:49 PM #110 Meds 300 Lamictal 75 Pristiq 12 Trilafon 2 Klonopin 2 tsp Amantadine 25 Seroquel Started taking a daily walk today w/ walking boot on. Still very short, but I'm getting there. Feels great to have a goal! -----> Very important:* __________________
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Aug 26, 2020 at 08:39 AM #111 Same dosages as above. Seroquel helps sleep sometimes, but not amazing. I added a dose of ZzzQuil for 2 nights and that knocked me out. I did have a hangover effect the following days, but geez...that sleep was sure nice. Still have to sleep in the afternoon. __________________
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Sep 08, 2020 at 07:20 AM #116 BethRags __________________
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Sep 08, 2020 at 09:20 AM #117 Thank you so much, Fuzzy. __________________
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Sep 08, 2020 at 05:06 PM #118 9/8/2020 Increase Trilafon to 16mg. Increase Lamictal (from 300mg) to 350mg. __________________
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Sep 09, 2020 at 11:23 AM #119 Right now is a nightmare with Medi-Cal and Medicare (which SSDI signed me up for, and which I neither want nor need). Trying to secure my prescriptions. I literally do not have $400/month to pay for them. This bureaucracy is entirely insane. __________________
	Reply With Quote