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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,329
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#281
You and Steve are in my thoughts and prayers. I am not giving up hope (like WC I can’t).
Christina and Steve __________________ |
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bpcyclist, ~Christina
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bpcyclist, ~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
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#282
Thank you Fuzzy
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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4 40.2k hugs
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#283
Very blue this morning for no apparent cause. Not suicidal, but definitely not feeling my life is worht living. I just hate feeling like this. Maybe I will feel better in a little while...
Love to all. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear, ~Christina
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Fuzzybear, ~Christina
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,329
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#284
I'm sending kind thoughts, appreciation, positive vibes and much love to all
@bpcyclist I hope this passes soon for you my friend __________________ |
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*Beth*, ~Christina
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*Beth*, ~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
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12 12.7k hugs
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#285
BpCyclist Im sorry your struggling.. Can you write down 3 things on paper that you can do tomorrow.. Very attainable things.
Maybe use the 15 min timer to help stay focused.. Its amazing how much can be done in 15 mins, A sink load of dishes washed , dried and put away. What about walking outside and set your phone alarm to go off in 7-8 mins. When it goes off turn around and walk back home.. But it will give your 15 mins outside and change your scenery. My Brain is fried but there use to be a website that you can go click off what food items you have on hand and it helps you come up with a meal using just those things.. It was pretty cool Anyway try to use the Timer trick, just knowing that you dont have to clean everything at once is a huge help and completing a task is a good feeling. When I struggle to get XYZ done.. I physically write out things I want to get done, being able to physically draw a line across the ones I complete ,,, its a mental thing but It makes me feel better.. __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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*Beth*, bpcyclist, Guiness187055
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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4 23.7k hugs
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#286
I also make lists...just drawing that line through an accomplishment is a reward.
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bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, ~Christina
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bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#287
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Fuzzybear, ~Christina
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Fuzzybear, ~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given |
#288
Well Im bringing this thread back front and center.
As many of you know my life has been beyond belief stressful since March with my husbands health and snowballed into me having to drop him at the ER doors and driving home alone 2 weeks ago. He is back home now with an additional problem Diabetes Type 2 , so more to get worked out. Last week I had my phone session with Richard my T. The company requires he ask questions and depending on my answer it can lead to other questions. The First is " Since we last spoke have you wished you could go to bed and not wake up.. Often my answer is Yes, I mean who doesnt think that at times???mental illness or not. But anyway after saying our hellos... I said I'm just going to say NO , No to all the questions.. In the past when everything is going sideways Bipolar wise I knew that there was always IP if I just couldnt keep myself safe. Well now? I told Richard I simply do not have the luxury of losing it and needing IP , I cant leave Steve here alone, Between the medical stuff and not sure where he is going to be cognitive wise. its not safe. I do not have anyone to drive me 110 miles to IP anyway, Noone can stay here or pop in or even call him a few times a day to make sure he is okay. And lets not forget to add Covid to the mix.. I think often about punching my ticket and getting off the ride, Sometimes in the past with some plans and a struggle with intent , which would cause me to say OKAY time to drive me North Steve, My IP is in Nashville. So my T and I talked in depth about how things have changed for me, When shoved in the corner I now have to hang on no matter what. So maybe in the fear filled situation I am able to reach even deeper into myself and find the bits and pieces that will keep my head above water? There is No one that can come stay with Steve and no place I can take him ( not that I ever would) we also have 2 dogs that need cared for so maybe there is a silver lining ? Maybe I can always dig deep and hold on... Maybe Ill never need IP again? Anyway I am rambling but if nothing else this is back on page one where someone in need might be helped by being able to express feelings on a touchy topic. __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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*Beth*, bpcyclist, Innerzone
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*Beth*, bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
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#289
Quote:
I am heartbroken. If i still lived there, I' d come myself. Dunno, but maybe, just maybe, there might actually be a way to get a little help and not unduly increase risk. Sending you strength and support!!!! __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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*Beth*, ~Christina
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 3,105
9 16 hugs
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#290
I have confidence that you will make it through this very difficult time. I was the 24/7 caregiver for my mother for I think three years. The last year was a nightmare, overwhelming depression, feeling helpless with little help from others. More than once I considered going IP. But then what would happen to my mother?
I am saying all of this to say that I understand some of what you are going through. I hope very much that your situation will get better for both of you. Your husband is a lucky man having you in his life. I suggesst pursuing diversions. Maybe the short fleeting period of time not actively thinking of what is happening to you will help.. __________________ Dx: Bipolar I, ADD, GAD. Rx: Fluoxetine, Buproprion, Olanzapine, Lamictal, and Strattera. |
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~Christina
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~Christina
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#291
Being a caregiver is hard. You can love the person to the moon and back; doesn't matter, caregiving is still exhausting in every imaginable way. No matter what, there are still your own life's tasks to be done...pets, chores, and that essential and often overlooked relaxation time.
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bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, ~Christina
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bpcyclist, ~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given |
#292
And I typed up a response and it went " Poof"
Thank you all for the support.. I hope I can get at least a few hours sleep tonight ! I have phone appt with my Pdoc tomorrow, I'm going to ask him for something to help me sleep, Ambien probably as its got the least amount of hang over effect.. I truly need some damn sleep! Much Love my friends __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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*Beth*, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Tucson, Victoria'smom
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*Beth*, bpcyclist, Tucson
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,329
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#293
Much love to all
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*Beth*, bpcyclist, ~Christina
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*Beth*, bpcyclist
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,329
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#294
Where did Wild Coyote go?
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bpcyclist
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*Beth*, bpcyclist
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