What to do after a horrible manic episode

I am slowly putting the pieces of my life back together after a horrible manic episode and I feel horrible because I am still adjusting to this.

Sorry to hear that, hopealwayz.

Would you feel comfortable in sharing what happened? You don't have to share if you don't want to, but if you're comfortable with sharing, I think people in this forum could give you some specific ideas on how you can cope with regret over manic decisions.

But in general, I think it's important to show love toward yourself. Try to remember that what we do in a manic episode does not necessarily reflect who we truly are. I do think we should take responsibility for our actions, but don't beat yourself up too much about it. It happens to the best of us, and when that happens, I think it's important that we setup some safeguards so that we don't repeat our mistakes. For example, if you've spent a lot of money, then maybe come up with some ideas on what you can do with your credit card, etc.. I'd say that one option is to shred up the credit card and only use a debit card from now on, which is what a lot of people in this forum do. (Just little things like that.)

Also, I think it's incredibly important to work with a therapist on this or at least talk about it on the forum (like you're doing now). The guilt can be immense, and we need to talk it through sometimes to make ourselves feel better.

I've been there. Be kind to yourself and put things back together one piece at a time one day at a time. Sometimes evennone minute at a time.

I am sorry you are struggling, hopealwayz. Excellent counsel from bluebicycle and fern above. I have been thinking a lot about this very topic lately because of my own struggles and one thing I would like to share that I think is a Big Trap for people with bp 1 is forgetting what this illness really and actually at times, is for us. I, myself, actually am not a fan of the term "mental illness" in 2020. I believe it is anachronistic and adds to they mystery, negative Hollywood mystique, confusion, and stigma we all face. I believe bp1 is a primary brain disorder, disease, or illness--choose your favorite. I cannot really show you an MRI or PET scan or point to lab values--yet--and show us the physical evidence of our bp 1, But this is only a matter of time (and actually, there are specific MRI findings in bp 1 people, FWIW).

The reason I am off on what may seem like a tangent is that it is very important, when trying to make sense of and find meaning in a serious manic episode, to be very, very focused on remembering and honestly acknowledging that you do, in fact, have this incurable, lifelong (for now) treatable brain disorder. Our spending or sex or raging at people or thinking we are The Messiah or whatever are manifestations of a brain disease. You are not "crazy." You are not a bad person or a low-life or constitutionally irresponsible and unreliable--or, as my extremely unloving and uncaring "brother" likes to say of me, a "cyclone." These things all occur as a direct result of this brain illness we all share.


If you neglect to remember this, then, if you are at all like me, you may fall into The Trap and The Trap is to compare yourself and your actions when manic/psychotic/symptomatic with the actions of people (or yourself) when asymptomatic) who do not suffer from this illness. That is completely unfair to you--to us--and an inaccurate analysis and it is almost surely destined to create shame and suffering and misery. It is really no different than giving a type 1 diabetic sh** because their glucose is 300 and their A1C is 10. Or calling out a patient with coronary artery disease for having chest pain or a heart attack. It is blaming us for having a disease over which we sometimes have little control. It's just completely inappropriate and wrong.

Don't fall into The Trap. It's sort of a cognitive behavioral therapy thing. When you start going down that self-judgment road, stop, identify that you are doing this (again), and remember about your brain disorder--which you did not give to yourself. That actually cannot be physically, neurologically, done--AFAIK. I know of noone who has successfully given themselves bipolar 1.


So, identify what you are doing. Remind yourself that your illness is behind it, not your bad character or substance, and--as wisely noted above--be kind to you. Practice not judging you. It takes practice. Noone is perfect at it. But having that insight about the nature of your brain disease offers a very good opportunity to make real sense of a prior manic episode and avoid the pitfall of endless self-judgement and comparisons to our well self and to others.

Be well!!!

After a horrible manic episode I've usually been inpatient for 2 months. It takes weeks to get just my cognitive functioning back, let alone piecing back together any damage I did to my life prior to my admission. I guess it depends on what you mean by "horrible manic episode".

Hang in there, hopealwayz! Although the details of our manic experiences may differ, you are not alone. Others and I on this Forum also have our regrets. Kindness and compassion to ourselves helps .... Mercilessly beating ourselves up, doesn't..

Sending good thoughts your way...

I think everyone's first manic episode is probably horrible, at least the dysphoric part or the crash. I remember feeling so afraid as my life felt totally out of my control.

Do you want to tell us about it Hope so we can try to give you suggestions for the future? Have you had med adjustments to help prevent future episodes? How is therapy going? Is the episode over or are you still struggling?

I honestly believe manic episodes can cause PTSD if severe enough. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this and hope you are able discuss it with someone to overcome it as quickly as possible!

I'm sending hugs. Thanks for this post