Bipolar check in #45

Ah, yes... My dad has the Kitchen Aid mixer you're talking about with the dough kneading attachment. It's quite an investment, but it's well worth the money if you're constantly baking, cooking, etc..

Sounds like you know a lot of really good Czech recipes.

I could not bake if my life depended on it. The only thing I can cook decently are enchiladas, certain Indian dishes, and mac & cheese (from the box, not from scratch). I follow Indian YouTubers for Indian recipes -- although I do have some Indian spice mix pouches (e.g., kind of like you see those McCormick ones at the grocery store for brown gravy, Santa Fe dry rub, etc.) that I got from the Indian grocery store.

I "caved in" today and took Tylenol for my body pains from the depression.

I'm so tired of feeling this low level pain whenever I move at all. It's not a sharp pain but a constant pain that's there when I move. If I'm completely still like when laying down or sitting I don't feel it.

I took the Tylenol twice today and it was nice. I felt normal, I was able to move around and not feel anything at all. It was a nice relief.

I won't do it every day but it's nice to know it works. If only it would last longer than 4 hours.

I can't take anything else for pain due to allergies.

I'd like to add some Indian dishes to my repertoire. The only difficulty is my husband's garlic allergy, though he usually manages to find a couple options at restaurants. I love Indian food!

That looks delicious

I haven't told my pdoc anything. She once told me there's not much she can do for depression. I go to bed around 10 and then get up at 2 p.m. or 3 or 4 or 5. Unless its a night before n3 has to work. Then I get up at 5 a.m. and go back to bed when I get home around 6:15. Thanks for the article.

Im sorry your dealing with pain.. It is exhausting. Glad you found some relief albeit not long enough

Have you tried Aloo Matar before? Depending on the Indian restaurant, they may or may not put garlic in it. I like it both with and without garlic.

Sample recipe w/o garlic:
Instant Pot Aloo Matar - Cook With Manali

It's also super healthy yet filling at the same time. Only veggies and spices are used.

You can also make Channa Masala without garlic. For example, this recipe uses a very tiny bit of ginger-garlic paste (which is 50% garlic and 50% ginger, as you would guess)... and you could definitely omit the garlic without actually "ruining" the dish:
Chana masala recipe | How to make chana masala

I know they're vegetarian, but they are so flavorful and filling. (That's probably why they're so popular across India.) Great for maintaining a healthy diet. Only problem is that you'll need some garam masala. You're better off buying the pre-ground powder because the individual spices typically come in bulk and are VERY expensive (because some are kinda rare compared to other spices, I think). It's also not easy to grind yourself even if you do buy the individual spices. But I think most regular grocery stores are starting to sell garam masala. I got a 16oz box at an Indian grocery mart for like $4 and it's lasted me 4 years at this point. Still have tons left in there, too.

Thanks so much, bluebicyle! I will look into these. Luckily, there are Indian grocery shops within 20 minutes of me. I rarely go that direction, but that's obviously pretty close.

I’m still here...reading posts. I had the French doors open and the windows open today as I spring cleaned the house. Lovely.

I’ve been taking a Vraylar every third day to get them to stretch. So far, I’m doing well. I’m looking into patient assistance. I need to submit and be turned down for assistance from Medicare first. Working on that. Jumping through hoops.

I’ve been doing a lot of inner work. I’ve got several programs going at once. Several breakthroughs. Between that and springcleaning, I’m busier than ever.

I’ve decided not to go to the ENT specialist at this time. Too risky.

Peace, love and light to all.

Yes beautiful day for the windows to be open. Glad your feeling good

Sorry you must jump through hoops right now to get the medication Im also postponing some routine medical appts..

Hi Scooter!

I am sorry you are still in pain and depressed.
There's my ortho dr with a drug called meloxicam. you might know of it?
It's an alternative to many others.
I am so sorry you've had continued depression.
Let us know if you need help!
Love and Prayers

The online link still didn’t work today so my pdoc called me. He gave me the information that medical professionals have on the situation in my country. Most I knew but having him confirm the information I have been receiving helped calm me. The new government rules were explained and im still free to travel to my partner and parents houses as they are classed as immediate family. We all just need to be careful we all barely see anyone else. Minimising the risk while staying sane.

Until Wednesday I’m at home alone. I’m still unwell so I’m just resting, or doing a little study. I’m happy to be alone. We’re allowed out for a short time of exercise once a day so I walked to the beach this morning. My first walk after two weeks. Just 10 minutes, but I got to see the awesome beauty of nature in the ocean. Little things help.

Hi WC....I looked up the Meloxicam but I can't take it because I have an allergy to that class of drugs.

At least I think I do. I'm waiting for an appointment at a drug safety clinic where they test for drug allergies.

The last time I took an aspirin my eyes got swollen almost completely shut so I was told to avoid all drugs in that class to be safe.

I'm so glad you've looked it up!
I was quite sure you would check it out before swallowing any!
I am hopeful your docs will be able to help you more with your pain.

Depending upon the type of pain, sometimes a low dose tricyclic med or a different med used "off label" may help. As with any of our meds, we need to watch the interactions and any increase in the QT prolongation potential.

I hope you will achieve relief on all levels quickly.
I do know at least some of what it is like to suffer treatment-resistant depression (and pain) and my heart goes out to you.

Much Love to You and to Your Family

Some guy at my workplace has coronavirus. Apparently he was somehow working from the building even though I thought it was closed like a month ago...? Damn. Now the building is infected!!

I hope he is okay. He was on our video call earlier this morning though, so he seems alright so far? But someone else on my team (who was new) said he went into the office too and met people including him. Yikes... I hope they did not shake hands!

My office should have CLOSED. I do not know if they forgot to shutdown the badge scanners or what, but this is exactly why they should have turned everything off and locked all doors. Even our offices in Canada had coronavirus people in them, and they closed the doors immediately after that. Not sure why they do not shutdown their Massachusetts offices.

Anyways, doing okay. Slept from 12am until 7am with a couple of awakenings. Nothing new really.

Not sure if my mood is elevated or not. It's tough to tell nowadays. I kind of wonder if I was hypomanic or even manic when on this higher dose of rexulti. I was rarely hearing or seeing things on 3mg and lower. Now it is much more frequent on this 4mg dose. In fact, when we reduced my dose from 4mg to 3mg recently (before bringing it back up), I was not hearing or seeing things. Now sometimes I hear voices and my alarm clock is giving me messages instead of showing the time. I had to talk it out with my therapist to ground me.

I am so ****ing agitated right now and have been all morning. Nothing I do works

Have you tried taking a (brisk) walk? Maybe half an hour? That might relax you.

I slept well last night. No bad dreams, no suffocation dreams! I woke up at approximately 10:30. I had to take N3 to work by 6 so that's not bad. Way better than 5 ****in o'clock in the evening!

I'm going to go get a shower now in case N3 calls. Be back later!

Evenings have been very rough for me lately, I seem to get very agitated every night and stress causes me to breakdown in tears. I think it's because of the current situation in the world and fear. The days usually start out good though. I've been meditating a lot and reading which are both helpful to me.

Have an appointment with my therapist over the phone Wednesday. Looking forward to it, have a lot to talk about.

April 2nd marks 1 year of my eating disorder recovery, so I'm proud of that. Not sure how I'll celebrate, maybe buy myself a new video game and some chocolate.

Oh yeah, I watched mass live streamed yesterday since churches are closed. It was really nice

Anyway, not much going on, just the usual, doing my hobbies like always

Crying. I just got violent (again) and I hate this person I've become. A walk didn't help, yoga didn't help, music isn't helping, journaling didn't help, breathing exercises didn't help... I'm gonna take another PRN even though Ativan is like a ****ing sugar pill to me right now.