Introject?

Fuzzybear · Apr 02, 2020 at 12:51 PM

I think an abusive therapist who I saw in real life for more than seven years has become an introject. But I’m not sure what an introject is and how can I finally get rid of him.....?

He abandoned me at a particularly bad time

And even more scary, I have heard of many other therapists abandoning their clients at a scary time, in this forest, when they may have finally begun to trust the “therapist”

fern46 · Apr 02, 2020 at 01:24 PM

I want to make sure I understand before I respond. Do you mean you have taken on his beliefs as your own?

Yaowen · Apr 02, 2020 at 01:25 PM

Dear Fuzzybear,

I wish I knew what to say. I am so sorry that you are suffering. That is heartbreaking!

Sincerely yours, -- Yao Wen

Fuzzybear · Apr 02, 2020 at 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fern46

I want to make sure I understand before I respond. Do you mean you have taken on his beliefs as your own?

I don’t mean that, it’s more an inner .. thing... that pops up to berate me like he did. I don’t believe it but I don’t like it abusing me. Also there is sometimes a small grain of “truth” in some of the ugly things abusers say. Nobody is perfect. But no, I actually respect myself and quite like myself most of the time.... for one thing, I am not a “bad person” but he did not respect me. Or have humanity or kindness.

fern46 · Apr 02, 2020 at 01:50 PM

His poor judgment or actions are not your fault nor should they be your burden. Take those grains of truth and work with them to morph them into something you like better. His point in time assessment does not need to be your future.

In the future if someone treats you this way you have the opportunity to leave and report them. Someone being bad to us does not mean we are bad. It means we have put ourselves, oftentimes through well intended action, in the path of an abuser. It is what we do in the moment we see them for what they are that matters. Essentially, tell that voice that berates you to shut it!

Tucson · Apr 02, 2020 at 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I don’t mean that, it’s more an inner .. thing... that pops up to berate me like he did. I don’t believe it but I don’t like it abusing me. Also there is sometimes a small grain of “truth” in some of the ugly things abusers say. Nobody is perfect. But no, I actually respect myself and quite like myself most of the time.... for one thing, I am not a “bad person” but he did not respect me. Or have humanity or kindness.

Its when we let that grain if truth validate everything else they say, including their behavior, is when we are in trouble. Best thing to do is to walk out, and not go back. But for many, this can be very difficult to do, Do nit waist anymore time thinking about that person who hurt you.

I hope you are feeling better soon.

Fuzzybear · Apr 03, 2020 at 11:39 AM

Teflon armour? Is that a DBT concept?

Fuzzybear · Apr 03, 2020 at 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I think an abusive therapist who I saw in real life for more than seven years has become an introject. But I’m not sure what an introject is and how can I finally get rid of him.....?

He abandoned me at a particularly bad time

And even more scary, I have heard of many other therapists abandoning their clients at a scary time, in this forest, when they may have finally begun to trust the “therapist”

The whole point I was trying to make in my other post, I think, is that when something is an introject simply changing thoughts is not really the answer. That jerk would tend to return how ever many times I tell him to piss off.

Actually he has not been back today

fern46 · Apr 03, 2020 at 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

The whole point I was trying to make in my other post, I think, is that when something is an introject simply changing thoughts is not really the answer. That jerk would tend to return how ever many times I tell him to piss off.

Actually he has not been back today

Can you 'outject' an introject? I believe I can. Probably not through forcing him out, but through acceptance, forgiveness and then mutual transformation of the old pattern.

Wild Coyote · Apr 03, 2020 at 12:36 PM

(((((( FuzzyBear ))))))

Throb:

I think it's great he has not bothered you today!

Love Ya!

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fern46 Grand Magnate Member Since Mar 2019 Location: USA Posts: 3,021 5 4,300 hugs given	Apr 02, 2020 at 01:24 PM #2 I want to make sure I understand before I respond. Do you mean you have taken on his beliefs as your own?
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Yaowen Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2020 Location: USA Posts: 3,618 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,475 hugs given	Apr 02, 2020 at 01:25 PM #3 Dear Fuzzybear, I wish I knew what to say. I am so sorry that you are suffering. That is heartbreaking! Sincerely yours, -- Yao Wen
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,326 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Apr 03, 2020 at 11:39 AM #7 Teflon armour? Is that a DBT concept? __________________
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Wild Coyote Legendary Community Liaison Member Since Jun 2016 Location: USA Posts: 12,735 (SuperPoster!) 7 70.9k hugs given	Apr 03, 2020 at 12:36 PM #10 (((((( FuzzyBear )))))) Throb: I think it's great he has not bothered you today! Love Ya! __________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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