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Fuzzybear
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Question Apr 05, 2020 at 05:12 PM
  #1
Does anyone have any ideas? How to allow myself to speak, to allow myself to make mistakes without that seemingly confirming the .... ugh.

I really can't post what I am thinking here. What a ****ed up screwed up day

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Default Apr 05, 2020 at 05:16 PM
  #2
I think it's important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes we make the same mistake a couple of times, but we eventually learn from those mistakes and use that newfound knowledge to better ourselves. So instead of thinking of things as being "mistakes," think of them as valuable learning moments.
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Default Apr 05, 2020 at 05:29 PM
  #3
To build upon Blue's advice, I like to think of myself as a student of life. I'm working on various subjects at any one time. Sometimes repetition is required as with any complex subject, but I keep my focus on a general forward trajectory. Lessons expand in layers or perhaps spirals over time whenever I prove my readiness to move to the next level. My goal is also to learn to a degree that at some point I might be able to offer what I learn to others.

'Mistakes' are the experiential variables that are sometimes required for me to truly learn. We often learn best by doing. Also, we sometimes need to play multiple roles within a scenario over time. One cannot always play the part of the expert if they want to learn.

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Default Apr 05, 2020 at 07:24 PM
  #4
Throughout my life, I have often been blamed for many misdeeds. I guess having been the youngest child in my family, that is understandable. Truth is, sometimes I was and am a naughty gal. Hubby has often drawn my attention to that fact, more times than I could ever count. But once when hubby blamed me for something one more time than I could handle, I told him the following story:

“When I was a child, my siblings passed blame on me for almost EVERYTHING. Again, often times I was the culprit. Then one particular day, my mother came to me with an angry look and asked 'Did you do such and such?!?!'”

To that I sighed, exasperated by the hundreds of accusations, and said “Mom…Ya know, if I did even half the number of things I’ve been accused of over the years, I must really be quite AMAAAAAAZING!” I think I was only 8 at that time. My mom laughed after I said the above.

I've said the above again and again, throughout the years. Have I cut out shananigans, over time? Of course! Have I worked on doing and saying only the right things? Yup! Have I succeeded brilliantly and to everyone's expectations? Umm, no! Frankly, at this juncture in my life, does perfection in satisfying everyone really matter? Nope! No more than it did when I was 8 years old. So if people think I am still so extremely bad, I just say that I'm so so bad that I must be amazing...and I smile. Some smile or laugh in return, like my mom did. Some don't. I suppose those people are perfect?

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