Masked Therapy

I did the usual phone thing with my therapist this afternoon; we've been doing something that resembles therapy by phone for 2 months. Today she told me that it's looking like the clinic will reopen in about 2 weeks.

Okay, that's a good thing. I guess. I feel so out of touch with my therapist that at this point, it's hard to imagine being alone with her in the same room. But I suppose I'll get used to it again.

The thing is, we have to do therapy with our masks on and sitting at opposite sides of the room. I'm 100% in favor of wearing masks outside of home. But doing sessions with masks on? And across the room from each other? If I cry how do I handle it with my mask on? I think snot will get all over my face. How on earth will we hear each other...communication while wearing a mask is tricky, and across the room, too?

I'm getting all wound up about all of it. Am I overthinking? What are others of you doing with regard to therapy at this time?

I depend on reading lips couldn't ever do that.

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Originally Posted by Nammu I depend on reading lips couldn't ever do that.

Good point, Nammu.

Do the masks must make it difficult for you?

My T's office is not big enough to put much space between us, We both have trouble hearing so that would be an issue, But more so I do not know when or if ever I will feel comfortable ( health wise) going to in office sessions like we have done for 9 years.. He has his own health to consider, he is 73.

I am curious to see how Psych providers are going to continue to care for clients as we go deeper into the long term of this plague.

I would say this is a time when you could choose to put this worry away and focus your attention on a more valuable alternative. There is little risk to you in trying this new system out and seeing how it goes. If a real problem comes along as a result, you can then give it your energy at that time.

If you need to wipe your nose, you'll pull your mask away for a moment and do it. You can always excuse yourself for a moment to do so if needed. If you cannot hear each other, you will adjust. Its going to be ok.

I find that strange. If you're more than 6 feet apart (as I'm assuming your therapist's room is larger than a cramped 6 feet by 6 feet), why can't you have your masks off?

I understand that someone could technically cough coronavirus everywhere and then coronavirus droplets gets all over the chairs and whatnot, but why can't your therapist use a disinfectant spray after every client? If the office doesn't have the necessary disinfectant supplies, then IMO, they shouldn't be open. However, if they're opening again soon, they probably DO have disinfectant supplies of some sort. So I don't get why they can't just use those after every client.

Anyways, there are approximately 20,000 coronavirus cases within a 20 min radius of here. There is no way we are opening anytime soon. So for now, I'm stuck with teletherapy. However, I don't mind it personally. It meshes with me well. I realize that some people don't like it, though. It's a matter of personal preference.

Thanks to each of you for your thoughtful input. It's so helpful to me.

My therapist is 69 years old and has asthma and barely recovered from pneumonia a year ago. So she's feeling super-cautious bout everything. She did say that everyone will get checked out when we enter the clinic (temperature). She also said she'll be disinfecting surfaces after clients leave. But I'll be siting on a couch...obviously cannot be disinfected.

I'll go and give it try. Honestly, though, I wish I could just go back in the autumn. I am waiting for a surgery date (achilles tendon) and hoping it'll be later this month or early June. That would delay going back to therapy by at least 6 weeks.

I think I need a break. The sticky part of this is that I'm in the last bit of my application for SSDI. My therapist just finished filling out the paperwork to send to my lawyer. Sooo...it doesn't look good if I bail now. And I really like my therapist. The most uncomfortable aspect, as far as the therapy itself, is that the phone therapy has changed my relationship with her. She's been treating me more like a friend than like a client. That bothers me.

Anyway, like you say fern...I'll just go and take it from there. Anything has to be an improvement (for both she and I) over the phone crap.

Your question, blue, makes sense. Why use masks when we're across the room from each other? I think its a distance of about 8 feet.

Well, maybe once she feels more comfortable she'll drop the mask protocol.

Every aspect of life now is just so new.

Beth, are video meetings possible with your therapist?

Doing therapy with a mask is a challenge . . .

I finally got a new therapist at the start of this, and wore a mask. The following week, she said we would only have visits by phone calls or video with FaceTime. I didn't have a webcam, and they are in short supply because of the high demand for them because of COVID, and it took me a few weeks to get one.

After I got one, she said she doesn't do video visits with Microsoft products and is not interested in ZOOM. I have a PC. We have had phone visits. I have looked into some programs that supposedly can be used in Windows as an "emulator" (I think that is the word) to be able to use FaceTime. But I still would have to learn to use Facetime, and frankly every time I have tried to use an Apple product I have become more frustrated than when I have used a Microsoft product.

At this point, I am not sure if she or I would recognize each other, even if we saw each other.

I have seen (yes, seen! ) my new primary care provider for a first visit by video with Microsoft Teams, and it went well. Not as good as face to face, but better than phone, which was not even an option for a first visit.

My therapist is helpful and supportive. I need to get my act together to see if if I can make video FaceTime work this week because video would be better than phone.

But phone is OK and, for me, better than nothing!

Hi Rick, unfortunately I'm not at all set up for video appointments (which my pdoc is loudly complaining about). I'm a low-tech person. Also, a few years ago I had to see a pdoc for a year by telemedicine (from a clinic). I really disliked it...it seemed so artificial.

True about webcams, too - wow, can't find one anywhere, not even online.

I guess I just miss my "real" therapist.

It sounds like you might not have other options right now?

I think I would find therapy (and likely any lengthy communication) quite challenging with a masks on. it might be worthwhile, nonetheless?
Maybe bring a supply of large cards with emojis on them, holding up the card/emoji which most closely represents your emotions during the session?
I think I'd feel a b it impaired, as I look for all kinds of cues, I think we all do.

If my therapist had decided to do therapy this way, I'd give it a solid chance.

If you have a say in the distance between you two and the meeting room allows for it, separate for more distance, like 9-10 feet. Studies clearly show it's much safer at 9-10 feet of separation.
If the further distance between you and your therapist creates difficulties hearing one another, maybe ask her to look into a small "white noise" machine/gadget. Many, many therapists use them. They are very small, round units that sit maybe 4" high (or less) and therapists place them outside of their doors.. They make it difficult for people to hear what's being said in therapy. just a thought.

Good luck! I 'll be interested in the outcome.
Take great care. Be well!

That do. Most people are nice about it and lift their mask to talk to me. I have an appointment at Best Buy on Tuesday that I'm nervous about. Writing would be hard.

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Originally Posted by Nammu That do. Most people are nice about it and lift their mask to talk to me. I have an appointment at Best Buy on Tuesday that I'm nervous about. Writing would be hard.

I hope your appointment at Best Buy goes well. I can definitely understand how you would feel stressed. Masks are difficult enough, as it is

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Originally Posted by Wild Coyote It sounds like you might not have other options right now? Exactly I think I would find therapy (and likely any lengthy communication) quite challenging with a masks on. it might be worthwhile, nonetheless? Maybe bring a supply of large cards with emojis on them, holding up the card/emoji which most closely represents your emotions during the session? Definitely an amusing idea! Kinda like therapy flash cards I think I'd feel a b it impaired, as I look for all kinds of cues, I think we all do. Yes. Therapy at this time is probably one of the most difficult things we are dealing with, for those of us who are in therapy. If my therapist had decided to do therapy this way, I'd give it a solid chance. Thanks. That's what I'll do. I figure that if I'm just plain miserable, I'll tell her and beg off. If you have a say in the distance between you two and the meeting room allows for it, separate for more distance, like 9-10 feet. Studies clearly show it's much safer at 9-10 feet of separation. If the further distance between you and your therapist creates difficulties hearing one another, maybe ask her to look into a small "white noise" machine/gadget. Many, many therapists use them. They are very small, round units that sit maybe 4" high (or less) and therapists place them outside of their doors.. They make it difficult for people to hear what's being said in therapy. just a thought. Yeah, I've been in therapy when the white noise machines are used. Good luck! I 'll be interested in the outcome. Take great care. Be well! Thank you WC! I'll definitely post more about all of this.

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I can see this being a challenge. I know there are some people sewing masks that have clear plastic to allow you to see the person's mouth, to help those who are hearing impaired. I guess your therapist would have to agree to wear one, but maybe it's something you could talk about. It could help other patients of your therapist's, too.

Bethraggs, I hope you don't mind me mentioning another video option here for Rick and for others interested. Thank you for your generous spirit.

Hi Rick!
I really appreciate your posts.

I am dismayed any therapist would/would not arrange to meet with a client, based upon the brand of the software involved. Am I understanding correctly?

If the Facetime option doesn't work out, maybe you can both try doxy.me?
It's HIPPA compliant, it's free to the practitioner and any brand of software can be used to make the audiovisual connection. Your practitioner would have to set up her own access/address and her "waiting room." You'd simply pop her address into your search box and you arrive directly into her "waiting room.

(Chrome or Firefox work best.)

My pdoc admits to being very challenged when computers are involved. Yet, she has been able to master this platform quickly.

Just sharing another option for you and for anyone interested.

Love to All!

I finally found a webcam on Amazon. $30, not bad. I just hope it's as easy and effective as it sounds.

Wild Coyote, thanks so much for the suggestion and information about Doxy.me!

It looks great! I am going to contact my therapist about it. I am low tech and the idea of downloading software on a PC to emulate an Apple to run and learn how to use Facetime has been daunting to me. The steps to set up the emulator look too complicated, and if I mess up, I may mess up my computer. So I have procrastinated.

After reading your positing, I looked at Doxy.me and neither my therapist nor I would have to download anything! This may work!

We have been meeting by phone after the first visit when I wore a mask. A phone visit is something, when face to face is not possible. With continuing phone visits, I seem to becoming increasingly disengaged. I may be overly sensitive, but I thought my therapist seemed more disengaged last phone call, too. Video would be much better, especially since this situation may be going on for a while.

Best wishes to all!

Rick, "disengaged" is exactly the word. I feel like, after doing phone therapy for 2 months my therapist and I have disengaged quite a bit. It feels disturbing to me; makes it difficult to envision being back in "real" therapy with her.

I had to smile, too, at Wild Coyote's emoji flashcard suggestion. Though it seems funny, I really think it's not such a bad idea. I suppose another option could be to gesticulate a bit more. People in my parts tend to gesticulate more than those elsewhere, except maybe Italy Anyway, I will say that I'd rather see my tdoc and pdoc in person (wearing a mask) than via video session. And to Rick, both my tdoc and pdoc have been using doxy.me It's not perfect, but it works and is safe. It has some benefits that a zoom session doesn't have.

I think that wearing a mask during a face-to-face session is important until the covid-19 is really under control. Even if a doctor/therapist has a huge office, if a person NOT wearing a mask coughs or sneezes, etc, it can get on furniture in various places. The doc/therapist would need to clean all surrounding surfaces with the proper cleaners, after each patient, to ensure some level of safety. At least if they (and patients) wear a mask, the spread of a virus would be far less. So, I do favor the wearing of masks vs. just distancing, until and only until the virus is controlled. I see how runny noses (from crying or other reasons) would be issues with a mask. Maybe a sealable plastic bag bought along and disposable glove and tissue/handkerchief would work. That could sound horrible or humorous. It's a choice.

I agree that not seeing a full face would cause some disadvantage and discomfort for me, and likely my tdoc/pdoc. However, I don't think it would be worse than the discomfort/disadvantage that comes with video sessions. Just different. I think if I had the choice, I'd go with wearing the mask, in person. This is better, in my view, particularly for people with bipolar disorder. Full body language says a lot. I don't mean just gesticulation, but agitation behavior, picking cuticles, slumping over, etc. Simply watching a person with bipolar disorder walk down a hallway can be quite telling.

I should be ashamed to say that I wouldn't mind the mask wearing around my tdoc as much as I would my pdoc. Pdoc is quite the handsome older man. It would be a shame not to see the full "picture" of him LOL! Plus, I have been going to his current office for almost 14 years. The actual office itself is a comfort zone for me. Really, I'm sort of joking about the looks thing. It's much more than that. I guess if one asked themselves if they'd rather video conf with their spouse or parent, or see their spouse or parent in person, but only wearing masks, a lot of folks would choose the mask setup. My pdoc is almost like a parent to me. Though I like my tdoc, that's more of a business relationship.

I think my T is going to retire very soon , he is 73 and in relative good health but age is against him... Why should he risk it? I will be done with Therapy.. I have no desire to regurgitate my life and bring someone up to speed...

Sure wearing a mask will be tough , but I can understand her needing to be as safe as possible, and her seeing Clients also will put you at risk, Sure she can spray lysol between clients. but Covid can live for a long time on surfaces.

Eventually My Pdoc will begin seeing patients again in the office, I'll check in wearing a mask , walk out side, He can get me , Ill not touch a single thing, Ill stand for our appt which I can easily cut to 2-3 mins and I'll walk back out and not touch a thing.. Id prefer to continue to have phone appt with him, as it took 48 seconds..

Maybe seeing her wearing a mask will be an okay thing... I know you have really missed her