Ending therapy?

Hi all. I just had a therapy session and my therapist ended up asking me if therapy had helped me and if I felt that I needed to continue. She asked me if I felt I was functioning to which I said I almost always function, I just don't feel well a decent amount of the time. We talked about perfectionism a bit and some other things. I am supposed to be in OCD therapy, too, but that's on hold due to the pandemic.

Anyways, I kind of feel like what am I doing in therapy, but at the same time feel like I don't feel well a lot and have stuff I should work through. I am also scared to stop therapy in the middle of a pandemic when I haven't been in contact with my psychiatrist or OCD therapist either. So, I dunno. I feel kind of bad about not having more clear cut goals for therapy, too. How do you all decide on goals and if you need to still be in therapy or not? I feel really conflicted about if I should continue or not and would be interested to hear how others have decided when to end therapy or not.

I can understand why OCD therapy wouldn't be a good idea during this ''situation''

At least I'm guessing it wouldn't be. I have OCD and also super sensitive skin grrr. I'm sorry you're facing this dilemma with your therapist. Maybe put therapy on hold for a while? I'm sorry I don't have any very good ideas. It's great that you're functioning but as you're not feeling well there is more to work on...

I can't speak for others, but I think I'll likely benefit from therapy for the rest of my life. That's not to say that I will never get to a place where I would want to reduce its frequency. In your case, I can't help but think your therapist is the one with the issues. Maybe she doesn't feel she's up to really helping you? She's trying to cut down on clients for some other reason? Frankly, I think that her ending your therapy right now, under the present circumstances, is a bit delinquent.That, or she really should have been more honest about why she's suggesting it end now. If she truly feels she's done enough, and you have "graduated" sufficiently, then she probably isn't capable or is clueless about what there is yet to do to support you. That's my opinion only, of course. In any case, you can't make her want to continue with you.

It's a sucky time to have to look for a new therapist, or be without the support of one, but this stuff happens. If you feel you need continuing support in the meantime, I hope you will quickly look for a replacement therapist. The right therapist can make you realize how little some past ones were capable of, or at least how bad of a fit they were. Or, that some just plain stop seeing the big picture.

I really feel for you. I just posted about struggling with a similar therapy issue. The pandemic has changed the format of therapy to the extreme.

My therapist seems to believe that my goals in therapy with her are clear; I don't. I never did. I still don't.

If I go with my intuition, I'd say stick with your therapy for now, because none of us know what will be happening 1, 2, 3, or 4 months from now.

But at this time setting goals is like building a house of cards.

Thanks everyone. Fuzzybear, I appreciate the support and you might be right about needing to work on things, still.

BirdDancer, I think maybe she isn't sure how to help me as she has mentioned in the past referring me to an OCD specialist (before my psychiatrist did). Still, several weeks ago she had asked if I wanted to increase my visits from biweekly to weekly because I was struggling with anxiety over the pandemic. So, I guess I didn't expect her to bring up ending therapy right now. I had a therapist as an adolescent that sort of ended therapy similarly, in an "okay you seem to be doing fine" kind of way even though I was not mentally well and then I struggled mentally with an eating disorder for years. So, I am trying not to quit too early again, but you're right, these things happen, and I can find someone new if I needed to.

Bethrags, I am sorry you are also dealing with these types of issues right now. It is an especially tough time to deal with it. I thought I was okay with teletherapy, but now I am realizing maybe it has changed the dynamic a bit. I had showed up to our last in-person appointment ready to talk about new things and felt it went well and we made progress. Now I am just trying to adapt to all that's going on and a bit less focused on therapy. I agree about not being sure what will happen in the future and that's one of my big hesitations ending right now. I know and trust this therapist and I don't love the idea of starting over with someone new via teletherapy, but can if I have to I guess.

I cannot afford therapy right now and so, have not had it since the hospital in 2016. I really benefit from it and miss it a lot. I believe, personally, that some day, maybe in 200 years or so, when people are much smarter about these things, everyone will be in therapy pretty much from childhood on. That will be fantastic, in my opinion.

bpcyclist, I am sorry to hear you cannot afford therapy. You make an interesting point about therapy in the future. I agree in a way that long-term mental health support could be useful for a lot of people, even if it's not traditional therapy as we know it. We seem to look at mental health as something to treat when there is an issue, but it's tough navigating the human mind, relationships, etc and I see a place for it being more incorporated in society, in the form of one-on-one or group therapies, trainings on practices like mindfulness, etc. I definitely did not feel I had a great role model for it growing up as almost everyone in my immediate family seemed to have difficulty with mental health and also did not learn how to deal with things in healthy ways. So, I have felt like I have tried to figure it all out on my own for awhile and didn't have a sense of my emotions, healthy ways of interacting with others, cognitive distortions, etc. All of which, with earlier intervention, probably could have been improved even if not fixed.

I've long believed that therapy should be a standard part of medical care. Like you posted bpc, maybe some day....

I’m not sure how frequently you have therapy but what I did was taper off, if I’ve gotten to once a month and am struggling to fill the time then it’s time to let go.

Is it possible to continue therapy with a different therapist. I don’t know how I would feel going to a therapist who feels they have done all they can for me. Actually, I do know. My therapist mentioned termination a couple years ago when I was still not feeling well. Our relationship changed. I trust her far less now because I realize she does not actually care about whether I get better. I resent her for that. Change is hard but I will be looking for a new therapist soon. That is the impression I get when a therapist brings up termination when someone is still not feeling well.

Thanks Bipolarchic. I can understand why that would affect your trust. Do you know why she brought it up? It does seem strange to me.

I am trying to sort through how I feel about it, but it did make me feel a bit strange that she mentioned it just weeks after asking if I needed more frequent sessions due to stress from the pandemic. I do get that I function relatively well, but I have also come to her with a lot of issues that we haven't really addressed. I think she wants me to be more goal-directed, but I feel confused as to how my issues can be treated, so I get stuck on trying to come up with the specifics of the goals. Like when I saw the OCD specialist, there was this set structure for how OCD is treated and so I was able to place my goals within that framework. I haven't felt there has been much structure in my general therapy, and then that I come off like I am scattered and not motivated or something. So, I think I need to talk to her about all of that, but depending on her reaction I may need to consider finding a different therapist.

Sometimes psychotic, thanks for the suggestion. Due to some scheduling issues and my job I have had therapy between every 2-5 weeks for more than a year and a half. So, I am able to go a decently long period of time without talking to her and do okay, but I haven't really worked out most of my issues, either.