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Newly Joined
Member Since May 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 1
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May 28, 2020 at 09:00 PM
#1
Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am at a tough place. I have been in a relationship with my wife, for the past 8yrs, 3 of which we have been married, we have a child together, who will be 3 this year. We are divorcing. She is 80% service-disabled from the military and if you looked at her, you wouldn't think there's anything wrong with her from physical appearance. However, she has had a lot of trauma in her life. While in the NAVY, she almost got diagnosed as Bi-Polar but didn't want to proceed through with the diagnosis, in order to not have the fact that she is bipolar on her record. Today, we are facing a divorce. She is in her manic state. The story obviously has much more depth to it. But I want to start the dialogue with everyone here. She is in the manic state right now. What can I do to help her come back to normalcy? |
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 bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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 bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: Michigan
Posts: 34
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May 28, 2020 at 09:27 PM
#2
Quote:
Mania is a normalcy for someone who is untreated and even treated with bipolar, that statement may not sit well with other members of the community. You mentioned she has served our country, Has she ever been diagnosed or screened for PTSD? There can be some similarities in symptoms. |
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| bpcyclist
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BipolaRNurse, bpcyclist
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May 28, 2020 at 09:58 PM
#3
Welcome!
If you feel that your wife is not psychologically able to care for your very little child, something must be done. Have you talked to your wife's parents or siblings about your concerns? Obviously, you are also hoping to get your wife help, too. If she cannot be coerced to get help, you may have to take strong action to protect your child, especially if your wife could be of harm to your child, herself, or others. Worst case scenario, if she doesn't accept help, is to call the cops for a wellness check, if she is a danger. I wouldn't call them if she is clearly not. Perhaps a lawyer could be consulted, too, if it gets to that point. You may benefit from seeking advice from a therapist or organization like NAMI. I'm not sure what else to suggest. I don't have magic answers for you. I imagine it is hard enough helping a sick spouse, assuming she is sick. When children are involved, surely harder yet. When I have been very sick with my bipolar disorder, if I didn't have my husband to look after our pet (we have no children), our pet would have been at risk. |
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| bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
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May 28, 2020 at 10:13 PM
#4
I'd also suggest NAMI their family programs can help you a lot with how to deal with symptoms. They are a free support group and if there isn't one where you live you can connect online. The reality is that if she is untreated and not accepting professional help there's not much you can do to alleviate the manic energy. Most people with BP don't seek help in the manic stage and are suspicious of any talk that something is wrong. However if she puts herself or your child in danger call 911. Then the hospital is a life saver. Do get education for yourself as she is the mother of your child and you will be dealing with her for life.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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| bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Legendary
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May 28, 2020 at 11:41 PM
#5
Unless she is a clear danger to self or others, most states do not permit any kind of forced treament, though some states have moved in that direction such as NY. The basic idea, in my opinion, is that civil rights and the constitution should not apply to persons with serious mental illness. I obviously oppose this.
If she is not open to getting help, then, just protect your daughter from her. Eventually, she will end up either arrested or in the emergencyt department (hopefully, not anything worse than that), if she is like most of us with severe bp 1. Not trying to be insensitive or unkind here, but this is just reality for most of us with this illness when we refuse help and assistance. I have personally spent mroe than 6 years in hospitals during my lifetime with this disease, and I actually had a fairly successful career. So, point being, it could have been much, much worse for me. Hang in there. Focus on that wonderful child of yours. Good luck!!!!!!! __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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| FluffyPuppy
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Threadtastic Postaholic
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May 29, 2020 at 06:15 AM
#6
What did she say about her almost-diagnosis of bipolar?
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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| bpcyclist
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bpcyclist, FluffyPuppy
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May 29, 2020 at 01:47 PM
#7
Try to get her into couples therapy with you to co parent your child together. Then let the therapist deal with her issues as it relates to raising your daughter.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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