Am I manic?

Last week my mom kept saying how hyper I was and this week has been a shitshow of substance misuse and (TMI) masturbation. I talked with my pdoc yesterday for three minutes and told her all was well so she said all seemed well. I went to group the other day but had taken way too much Ativan so I couldn't exactly talk. I stopped taking my pills(Seroquel, prazosin), didn't tell pdoc, oh well not like she would've done anything other than say to take them. I'm still on the injection so it's not like I'm unmedicated. Sleep's relatively fine but I've been taking a lot of downers (benzos, painkillers,weed) if I don't Iget all ragey and don't sleep. Can't concentrate. Went for a walk barefoot and the last time I did that group said I was manic but there was also a lot of snow on the ground back then too I feel like it's not as bad. I'm sober now and I hate it. I want to buy a violin but I lost my card. Also got back in touch with my ex and we're trying to find a time to hang out. So much energy.

Hi spikes. You seem to have complete insight into your current mood. That is good. Though I am not qualified to say what level of "up" you are experiencing, I strongly suspect that it is still a hypomania, and not manic level. If you worry it will worsen or if your behavior will continue to become odder or more dysfunctional, you know what you have to do, don't you?

That's the thing--I didn't really have insight until this morning, I guess that means it's tapering off?

Hey spikes.

I am glad you recognise this. That sort of insight, as BirdDancer has said, is really helpful.

You may want to bring this up with your doctor as soon as possible. How you explained it in your post is a pretty good start.

The problem is, potentially, that insight can be lost in a moment and then be gone for hours or days or weeks. Once you have lost insight, you are formally and gravely in danger. And other people may also be in danger, depending on particulars.

So, to me, this is actually a medical and psychiatric emergency. Noone sends you a text before insight is lost, warning you. It just happens--poof!!!

I recognized that I am in the minority in America on this, but I personally believe weed to be exceptionally dangerous potentially for people with our illness. Would I like to feel better than I do sometimes? Hell, yes. But I would never resort to that or any other non-prescribed med. And I have a lengthy addiction history. Anyhoo, weed clearly has psychosis-inducing properties. Just my 2 cents on that.

Be very careful! I went from hypo to manic and floridly psychotic over about a week in 2007, crashed my car, injured someone, and was prosecuted by furious DA's, who did their level best to send me to the penitentiary for 10 years. Totally overcharged me. Zero prior record, not even a traffic stop. Complete morons with respect to any type of insight about what bipolar psychosis is all about. But none of that matters if they are pissed. The law and statutes are completely irrelevant. I sure don't want you to ever have to go through the hell I did. Please be careful.