Tired of emocional roller coaster *SUI trigger*

I am exhausted, I feel worthless, stupid, I do not enjoy anything anymore, I want peace, I want to die, but I cannot stop doing things, I have sold old stuff, bougth a bunch of plants and other stuff including an aquarium. Tomorrow I am getting the fishes and Next week a Cat.

I need to rest but I cannot stop the thoughts and actions. I feel so frustrated and angry I wanted to jump un front of a car because the traffic light was red.

I cannot stop feeling so many extreme emotions at the same time for no reason.

So many urges
So many thoughts i cannot think clearly by myself.

I talked to my therapist by phone bc I was SUI, he asked me if I wanted to go IP or go to the clinic (I was to tired to walk there), I said no. He told me to go to the clinic Next Tuesday (they are doing phone sesions since the COVID). I promised him I would be there and I will.

ITS ALWAYS THE SAME ROLLER COASTER TWICE A YEAR

APs dont work

I do not want to Live all my Life like this.

I feel like a fraud, I must be OK. I do not know if going to the clinic on tuesday. I shouldnt if I am a fraud. I am afraid of letting my T know my agitation, he just knows about the depression.

I am not talkative and always look calm, very very calm.

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

I wish I wasn’t ............because of ****

I wish you well

I'm right there with you Oliver B...

Be as honest as possible with every one. that is my advice to you.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi
lies hurt you.....
I need to do the same thing.

It is so difficult to be honest, but lets try!

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

I wonder if It is worth to live having these issues most of the time.

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

One of the cruelties of this illness is hope robbery. When we are really struggling, we often cannot see that there is another side to ever get to. But there is. There always is. Our illness, your illness, is preventing you from accurately viewing this. So, it is no wonder it can be so difficult.

You cannot give up. Press on. Do what little things you can. Try for a little walk. Maybe seeing a dog or some flowers will lift you a tad. What about a med adjustment.pdoc consultation?

Sending you strength!!!!!!!! And support!!!!! Hang in there!!!!!

I do not want to spend my whole life taking meds. Next appointment with doc (therapist) is in 3 weeks.

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-