How do you and your therapist set goals?

yellow_fleurs · Jun 01, 2020 at 01:56 PM

At the risk of sounding silly for asking what should be perhaps obvious, I am really wondering how people go about this process. I have started creating a list of things I want to improve about myself and plan to ask how therapy could help me in my goals to improve those things. Maybe that will help get the convo started?

I am a major over analyzer and so perhaps I am just overthinking this and making it complicated for me. So, for example, I know I could improve my self worth and trust of other people. So, if my therapist says during a session, what do you want to work on today, do I just say I'd like to improve my ability to trust people? It's hard for me to imagine how we could break that down into a 50 minute session goal. I'd love some feedback if anyone has been stuck in therapy or has experience with setting goals. Thanks!

Jun 01, 2020 at 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

At the risk of sounding silly for asking what should be perhaps obvious, I am really wondering how people go about this process. I have started creating a list of things I want to improve about myself and plan to ask how therapy could help me in my goals to improve those things. Maybe that will help get the convo started?

I am a major over analyzer and so perhaps I am just overthinking this and making it complicated for me. So, for example, I know I could improve my self worth and trust of other people. So, if my therapist says during a session, what do you want to work on today, do I just say I'd like to improve my ability to trust people? It's hard for me to imagine how we could break that down into a 50 minute session goal. I'd love some feedback if anyone has been stuck in therapy or has experience with setting goals. Thanks!

Hi yellow_fleurs. The goal you proposed sounds like a great start. I think a lot of us can relate to wanting to increase our abilities to trust. I wouldn't worry about the 50 minutes. Such a goal can take a while, and involves quite a bit of introspection, which I'd hope the therapist would help with, and then perhaps baby steps of assignments/efforts over a period of time.

Jun 01, 2020 at 02:21 PM

I think you should take a piece of paper and physically write down your biggest goals. Like, I'm talking about big, big goals that will likely take multiple sessions to cover -- e.g., weeks, months, or even years. From there, breakdown the goals into smaller, achievable subgoals. In your case, your big, big goal would be to improve your ability to trust people, and your smaller goals will be things like "trust my family," "trust my friends," "trust my psychiatrist," "trust my coworkers," etc. etc.. After that, you can break things down even further by saying something like... IDK... "trust my friends to not stab me in the back" and "trust my friends to drive me home when I am drunk." (I know, those are terrible examples, but I think you can see what I'm getting at.)

Think of it like making a decision tree:
How do you and your therapist set goals?

How do you and your therapist set goals?

~Christina · Jun 01, 2020 at 02:44 PM

My T from day one is very goal oriented.. We find a problem and the focus is on that and different ways I can try to help tackle those feelings or actions.

I would think that if your T isnt helping you with goals them speak up and okay X is one of my biggest struggle can we focus on that and find a solution that will help make it more manage able.

Our T's are not mind readers sure over time they get to know us but I think specifically asking for help with something you struggle with is the best way to good

Fuzzybear · Jun 02, 2020 at 10:45 AM

I would like to improve my ability to trust people. I haven't found a t who wanted to help me set goals (the only t who mentioned goals also mentioned time limits which triggered me) I guess I was a ''crap patient''... yeah I could also use some improvement in my self worth sometimes.

Fuzzybear · Jun 02, 2020 at 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I think you should take a piece of paper and physically write down your biggest goals. Like, I'm talking about big, big goals that will likely take multiple sessions to cover -- e.g., weeks, months, or even years. From there, breakdown the goals into smaller, achievable subgoals. In your case, your big, big goal would be to improve your ability to trust people, and your smaller goals will be things like "trust my family," "trust my friends," "trust my psychiatrist," "trust my coworkers," etc. etc.. After that, you can break things down even further by saying something like... IDK... "trust my friends to not stab me in the back" and "trust my friends to drive me home when I am drunk." (I know, those are terrible examples, but I think you can see what I'm getting at.)

Think of it like making a decision tree:
How do you and your therapist set goals?

Good post

yellow_fleurs · Jun 02, 2020 at 08:04 PM

Thank you everyone! Your responses were helpful. I told my therapist I wanted to work on my perfectionism/self worth and my issues in relationships including trust. She said that those sounded like great goals for therapy. We had a good session discussing those issues. We didn't break it down yet into smaller goals, but at least we have an overall plan.

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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Jun 02, 2020 at 10:45 AM #5 I would like to improve my ability to trust people. I haven't found a t who wanted to help me set goals (the only t who mentioned goals also mentioned time limits which triggered me) I guess I was a ''crap patient''... yeah I could also use some improvement in my self worth sometimes. __________________
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yellow_fleurs Grand Poohbah Member Since Jun 2018 Location: US Posts: 1,512 5 1,265 hugs given	Jun 02, 2020 at 08:04 PM #7 Thank you everyone! Your responses were helpful. I told my therapist I wanted to work on my perfectionism/self worth and my issues in relationships including trust. She said that those sounded like great goals for therapy. We had a good session discussing those issues. We didn't break it down yet into smaller goals, but at least we have an overall plan.
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