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Default Jun 03, 2020 at 10:02 PM
  #1
Is there something called quiet bipolar where you don’t show your mood swings? I get bad mood swings but I rarely show them. I’ve been showing them more recently but only to family. And to my therapist sometimes but she usually just sees them through emails. Most of the time people have no idea that I’m angry or sad or anything. I’m also diagnosed with ASD and I probably have selective mutism.

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Default Jun 04, 2020 at 04:47 AM
  #2
I tend to socially shut down when overwhelmed by racing thoughts and other emotions. Socially It is not east to notice a mood chance, though I am still much more active, or I isolate if irritable, ...

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Default Jun 04, 2020 at 05:16 AM
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I have flat affect and flat vocal tone 99% of the time, which means most people cannot tell how I feel unless I tell them. My facial expression legitimately does NOT change and my tone of voice shows no excitement, sadness, anger, etc.. Just zero inflection.

When manic, I will actually start smiling, talking rapidly/tangentially, and joking a lot, so those symptoms are a dead giveaway. My bosses in the past have noted my extroverted behavior, because it is so unlike me. But still, my tone of voice does not change.

My depressions don't show because I am good at hiding my sadness/apathy. (I am just so used to hiding it because I have been doing that all my life.) However, many people often mistake my flat affect for depression or disinterest in things. (e.g., my boss and coworkers sometimes think I hate my job. lol.)

Finally, when I am psychotic, no one really knows it. I keep my hallucinations and delusions to myself (except in front of my therapist). I just know from experience that people twist my words, stab me in the back, etc., so I tell them nothing regardless of mood. I know they won't care or will use it against me, so I say, "f*** them."
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Default Jun 04, 2020 at 01:20 PM
  #4
There are mood states that I tend not to show (depression or anxiety, for example). When I'm manic I couldn't hide it if I tried.

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Default Jun 04, 2020 at 01:30 PM
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I didn’t realize smiling was a part of mania. I’ve been doing it a lot lately. especially in therapy. I’ve had to hide my face behind my hand or my t shirt. I wonder if I’m slightly manic right now.

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Default Jun 04, 2020 at 01:52 PM
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Quiet bipolar would definitely not apply to me. In fact, I'm pretty much the polar opposite to quiet, unless I'm purely depressed. Nor do I have ASD or flat affect. But I do want to share that my youngest nephew had ASD and bipolar disorder. He did often have flat affect and was extremely quiet. I believe that his mind was churning and racing during his mood elevations, but only when he'd literally explode would it be apparent. I will say that he did explode on a few occasions. Violently. However, I think that was very much provoked. My brother-in-law verbally abused my nephews and even my sister. Everyone has their limits. Perhaps if my brother-in-law was a kinder father, my nephew's rare explosions wouldn't have happened. He was a very gentle young man and child. He quietly fought most of his life. I tried, as I could, to get him to release some of his pain and stress, in a healthy way, but I regret I spent less time with him than I wished I had.

My nephew did give warnings about his severe strife, when he felt it was necessary. My sister took them seriously. However, at the end, he did go quiet, except for one more warning. Then he stopped the warnings, and it was too late.

I often think about if he only called me and opened up more during his last weeks. I had seen him about a month before. For the first time he invited me to lunch. He gave no indication of any strife. He asked me to take a walk with him to his favorite spot. I did. I had no clue that he was anything but his usual quiet self. I was so deaf. I was so blind. Was there a dangerous storm going on in his mind even then? I now assume so.

As I wrote above, people see and hear my feelings quite easily. I shout it all to the world. It seems far less dangerous than when there is a type of silence. Now, there are absolutely no more words from my dear nephew at all. None.
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Default Jun 04, 2020 at 02:13 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
Is there something called quiet bipolar where you don’t show your mood swings? I get bad mood swings but I rarely show them. I’ve been showing them more recently but only to family. And to my therapist sometimes but she usually just sees them through emails. Most of the time people have no idea that I’m angry or sad or anything. I’m also diagnosed with ASD and I probably have selective mutism.
Wow. Yeah. This is a busy board. I’ve been gone a couple of hours and ... Omg...

The quiet and not so quiet have filled this place up. I am sincerely and deeply grateful for your question. If I had thought of it I would have asked a similar question. A therapist I never emailed with said with a snake. ...++=- oops I mean a snarl

That I “don’t have mood swings”

Yeah.. ok ...

Completely confused at life but still willing to learn,

Respectfully,
Fuzzy

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Default Jun 04, 2020 at 02:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I didn’t realize smiling was a part of mania. I’ve been doing it a lot lately. especially in therapy. I’ve had to hide my face behind my hand or my t shirt. I wonder if I’m slightly manic right now.
I wouldn't say that smiling is a part of mania, so I wouldn't say that it is legitimate criteria either. Everyone behaves differently. For me, personally, I start laughing and smiling because I am so happy/elated, but I also never, ever smile in general because of my flat affect. The smiling is just an artifact of feeling so happy and revved up (i.e., it is not a direct symptom of mania, but rather, a symptom caused by elation). I am sure people do smile when manic, but they might also smile even when euthymic. In that case, I would say no, smiling is not a symptom.
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Default Jun 04, 2020 at 04:48 PM
  #9
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
Is there something called quiet bipolar where you don’t show your mood swings? I get bad mood swings but I rarely show them. I’ve been showing them more recently but only to family. And to my therapist sometimes but she usually just sees them through emails. Most of the time people have no idea that I’m angry or sad or anything. I’m also diagnosed with ASD and I probably have selective mutism.


You described emotional dysregulation. This is common in many disorders. E.g., ASD, ADHD, PTSD, BPD

Didn't you recently start taking T? If so that will definitely cause what you are describing.

(Sorry, if I have confused you with someone else.)

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