Hafta Be Honest--Not Functioning At A Very High Level

So yeah, basically I am saying your mind is like a 50 car pileup on the freeway or all of the chemistry class data not computing and you have to find a way to make sense out of what happened to you... You need new programming. A system upgrade because just coping is no longer working. Once you find a system to process it that works, your flow can return and you can get back to greater balance. It is intermittent change through trial and error. Progress over perfection.

'The porblem was that they were trying to make me learn it in a way to which my brain does not relate or respond. Once I started drawing pictures and images for myself and taping them all over my walls, chemistry was easy as pie and a joy. I need to find that same kind of solution here. Something that works given the way my brain is currently functioning'

^^^^^ This sounds like as good of a system as any to process trauma and mental blocks. Maybe apply it somehow to mental health. So maybe each fear becomes a picture of how you percieve it to look and feel chemically... What are the bonds like and what is the structure of it like? What kind of metaphorical chemical reaction do you need to shift it? Make yourself a formula for dealing with each type of psychotic situation and plaster it on your wall. If it comes from your base, figure out a thought and emotion formula that is acid so you can neutralize it. If it is an unstable isotope, metaphorically stabilize it. Whatever. OR try something wildly different. Get wierd with it.

I think the problem may be you haven't found the system that works for how your brain thinks and feels. That was my issue. I expected meds and traditional therapy to work. They did not. Maybe it was because I couldn't fully trust or maybe I felt they did not understand me. Maybe it was because I am not a psychology expert and applied the concepts wrong. Regardless, I needed something custom that was built just for me.

I needed something that made sense to my spiritual side and worked with my analytical processing. I needed something that could honor all of the roles I played in my life. I needed something that made sense out of the crazy dreams I was having. I needed something that worked with music and all of the songs constantly in my head. I also needed to blend all of that with what psychology scholars had to say about the conscious and subconscious mind.

So I basically looked at all of my requirements and then designed a custom strategy to address them. I went at it holistically considering the spirit, soul, mind, emotions and body. I used the roles I know well. Strategy, business, technology, etc.

I percieve that my therapist doesn't fully get what I'm doing and I don't expect it to make sense to anyone else. How am I gonna integrate crazy any other way than be willing to meet it and get a little crazy? My formula for balance in any moment is unique to me. This is what I mean by only you know.

I have a suspicion that I know where you are located. And I know of a resource that if you have Medicare and have SSI, you can apply for a company to come in and give you support to do the following, plan a way through, help you to clean, prompts to get things done, and support when you go out. It's a premier agency that a case manager can refer you to. Please pm me and we can talk more.

I do want to say that I know you have more power than you think!! It sounds like you have been to college, you have been through challenges. And sometimes thinking a different way can help.

In the last three weeks, I have been thinking about my own illness. And I want to offer this idea to you and to others. I have thought for years that medication was Everything, and it would help me more than anything else. I was wrong. I am the one with the power to change! I already know the answer, but I am having issues expressing and acting on th plan in my mind.

I saw a YouTube video on Tiny habits. And I thought, what if I stop trying to choose, but just start on something. Doesn't matter what it is, even if it was flossing one tooth. It's something! What can you do that takes 30 seconds? And then do that.

You wrote a lot, meaning that it was important to you to express yourself. I commend you for that. It isn't easy to let anyone in to your own life, and most of all yourself. What can you do today to let yourself in, and become intimate with who you are today?

One thought can change the world. But don't become too overwhelmed, just start somewhere.

I hope this helps, and I know you can start small.

I am sorry you are struggling so much. It really is tough when you have mental illness to live alone and function sometimes. I come of as functioning well a lot, but sometimes I have barely been able to get up and get dressed and it's hard because it's expected of us as adults, and there's not much support.

Perhaps a daily planner might help you get organized.

when do you see your pdoc again, you sound really depressed. do you have a therapist to talk to?

your planner can be useful for multiple areas of your life. documenting your temp or blood pressure if you take those. or even BMS or showers taken. any of your adls that you are doing

you could just right out your meds list and then use the planner to document that you took meds and what time.
I can't live with out my planner. My memory is so bad. I am having a hard time spelling. thank goodness for spell check!
hang in there.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I know this may not be financially available to you, but it would be worth looking into. Look up "Lifebook". Honestly I have felt overwhelmed doing the program, but I have found more hope that the future can change! I do feel overwhelmed, and I'm asking for support from others.

Honestly, a therapist can take you only so far. It's up to the individual experiencing the symptoms to see that there is a life worth living out there and to embrace that feeling. And to put the effort in.

You don't have to buy the program. Just take the 12 categories and plan your life,. Write down a vision and a strategy for each category. See what you believe in each category. If 12 is too many, then start with your emotions and see what you want to believe.

You have the power to change, mental illness is not a life sentence.

I know this may not be financially available to you, but it would be worth looking into. Look up "Lifebook". Honestly I have felt overwhelmed doing the program, but I have found more hope that the future can change! I do feel overwhelmed, and I'm asking for support from others.

Honestly, a therapist can take you only so far. It's up to the individual experiencing the symptoms to see that there is a life worth living out there and to embrace that feeling. And to put the effort in.

You don't have to buy the program. Just take the 12 categories and plan your life,. Write down a vision and a strategy for each category. See what you believe in each category. If 12 is too many, then start with your emotions and see what you want to believe.

You have the power to change, mental illness is not a life sentence.