I was finally (99%) honest with my pdoc and therapist

Lately, I have been making a strong effort to be honest with my pdoc and therapist. I think it has worked out well so far.

Normally, I have a hard time being fully honest because I am afraid that my therapist and/or pdoc will involuntarily commit me to IP. During these plague times especially, I need to avoid IP if I can.

I usually do not admit to feeling depressed -- at least not right away, anyway. However, today I did. I told my pdoc that I woke up feeling like total s***. The only thing is that I never told him about my suicidal thoughts this morning. (But again, I want to avoid IP. I also should disclose that I have never mentioned suicidal thoughts to ANY professional except once, so I fear that the mere mention of those thoughts will make them pull the IP trigger.. But I hope in the future I can discuss suicidal thoughts with them. Maybe I can do so after the fact to see how they react.)

Anyway, I was also 100% honest with my therapist yesterday about what I was doing (spending money like crazy, pacing around, feeling distracted, etc.). That's how I ended up with a pdoc appt today and a prescription for a second mood stabilizer, with the hopes of stopping my current one.

Here's hoping that the new med works and that it can replace my lamictal. I am glad I was (mostly) honest instead of hiding virtually everything from them. I normally hide things because I am embarrassed or feel super guilty about them. So, I just thought I would share something positive despite feeling so negative right now.

Kudos blue

That’s interesting. I did not admit to feeling depressed ever when in therapy either. Similar reasons (not verbalised)

I’m particularly happy that you are able to avoid “IP”

thank you for sharing your success with me.

“i normally hide things because of feeling embarrassed or super guilty” - I could elaborate re therapy etc but this isn’t my thread

They usually avoid IP and try meds first. Be honest with yourself first, then them. You can get help without IP. Good going! I hope the meds help

That's really great you found a way to share and get the care you deserve. Nice update Blue!

I have not been honest with my pdoc either. I pretty much told her what she wanted to hear. great that you were honest about some of your feelings.....
bizi

hugs to you. The sigh is at me, not at you

Good job, blue!!!! I hope that new MS helps fast.

I give me psdoc a suicide update at every single visit. Where I am with it. How bad it has been, how often. So on. I am able to do this without worrying about being committed because I have made a firm commitment to him that I will not actuall ever commit suicide. He believes me, and he should. It is against my religion, so, not eveen an option, no matter what. Kind of like wanting to kill the people who tortured me. Did I dream of it? Of course, everyone who goes through what I did does. But it would never happen--would be a huge religion violation. Plus, it is wrong.

Hang in there!!!!!!!!

blue, your are amazing. I am sure it took a lot of courage to be (99%) honest with your T and pdoc. What a healthy way to self-care. Give yourself a big hug

Blue I am happy for you!

Good for you for opening up more where it matters. It is OK to talk about suicidal thoughts---no one wants to IP anyone if it can be avoided. Not these days.

I'm glad you were able to be mostly honest. I know you said you could sleep last night because of the Trileptal, but I hope that side effect goes away and Trileptal winds up being helpful to you.

I’m so happy for you! It took me years to realize that honesty was the best policy.

Just FYI, I have found that I can admit to suicidal thoughts, but as long as I dont have a plan and an active intent, I will not go IP. Even if I have a plan, if I can sign a safety contract they will not put me IP. But it probably depends on your pdoc and your state.