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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given 
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Jun 30, 2020 at 12:02 PM
#101
Finally fell asleep at 230 or so. Got maybe 5 not great hours, but it is something. Very grateful. I do find that when I live with gratitude for whatever I do have that is positive, that I do much better than when I focus on what I lack. Whcih is much.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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 *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Mountaindewed
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 *Beth*
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,123
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,737 hugs
given
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Jul 02, 2020 at 03:24 AM
#102
I’ve been getting 3-6 hours of sleep for the past 2 weeks and it’s really been taking a toll on me emotionally, and physically. I need to drink large amounts of caffeine during the day to help me stay awake and keep my anger in check but the caffeine then causes massive anxiety. I’m sure my sleep is why I have been feeling so awful lately. I’ve been up since 11:30 last night.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, ~Christina
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bpcyclist, ~Christina
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Junior Member
Member Since Apr 2009
Location: A state of confusion
Posts: 18
15 1 hugs
given |
Jul 02, 2020 at 03:33 AM
#103
Hello darkness my old friend.
__________________ Would anyone really miss me....If I leave here tomorrow would you still remember me?. We had joy we had fun we had seasons in he sun but the hills that we climbed were to seasons out of time. Tams I will never forget you. |
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| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, ~Christina
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bpcyclist, ~Christina
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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
(SuperPoster!)
13 600 hugs
given
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Jul 02, 2020 at 08:43 AM
#104
I think I may be boarding the hypo train, hopefully I can avoid mania.... My knockout meds (which incidentally is an AD) stopped working yesterday after only being on them for a week...
I'm toying with the idea to let it flow and go along for a short ride (or nip it in the bud and just take the AD every other day to get off the train tracks.... ) It's hard because I've been depro for nearly 4 months so this is realllllly tempting. 
__________________  DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, ~Christina
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*Beth*, bpcyclist, ~Christina
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given
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Jul 02, 2020 at 08:47 AM
#105
Pretty solid sleep last night. Grateful.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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| Anonymous41462, Mountaindewed
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*Beth*
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given
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Jul 02, 2020 at 06:16 PM
#106
Lia...............
Hypo is a beautiful shiny land full of puppies, kittens and bunnies, colors make sound and taste good.. But there is the mania that might happen and climb you right into hell then the crash and burn. Maybe ask Parker about decreasing the dose or even going every other day? I know that you have had months and months and freaking months or depression hell. My Advice Sis is back away from the pretty lights, Ask Parker about changes in the meds and see if that helps keep you more Level.. Check the half life on the AD so you can present that info to Parker to show him that something has got to change Love ya 
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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| Anonymous41462
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*Beth*
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,193
9 2,235 hugs
given
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Jul 02, 2020 at 09:29 PM
#107
I just got done with a 5 day IP stay. I barely slept the entire time I was there - the nurses were amazed.
I actually got home last night and slept like a rock in my own bed. I'm hoping to make it two nights in a row. |
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| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, ~Christina
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~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given
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Jul 02, 2020 at 10:17 PM
#108
Quote:
 I'm crossing all my body parts that tonight is another successful night
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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| Anonymous41462
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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4 23.7k hugs
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Jul 03, 2020 at 03:07 AM
#109
Up with idiots blowing up illegal fireworks and with my poor terrorized old cat. Oh, and my foot itching under my cast, which I could swear is made of concrete. It'll be a month on Wednesday and I'll get the cast off and transfer to a "boot." At least I'll be able to shave my leg.
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| Anonymous41462, unaluna, ~Christina
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~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given
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Jul 03, 2020 at 09:25 PM
#110
Ohhhhhhhh Beth getting that cast off is going to make you feel like a brand new woman
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given
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Jul 03, 2020 at 09:27 PM
#111
Meh ! couple hours very broken..
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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| Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, Nammu, Polibeth
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bpcyclist
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,285
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.6k hugs
given
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Jul 03, 2020 at 09:51 PM
#112
Same ole same ole. I go to bed between 11:30 and midnight, read a bit and then play toss and turn until dawn. Just getting a few hours in. My eyes are dry and itchy as a result and it's hard to read. No remembered dreams for several days, am due a big supersized techno colored dream any day now!
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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| Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, downandlonely
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bpcyclist, Polibeth, ~Christina
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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
(SuperPoster!)
13 600 hugs
given
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Jul 04, 2020 at 12:28 PM
#113
I had a snack of scrambled eggs and cheese at 3am before I went to sleep, and then I was wide awake by 7:30am (unhappy about it) needing to clean something... Also I am now smoking like a chimney which is bad for my budget as cigarettes are now considered contraband and is super expensive if you can find them.
To skip or not to skip , to ingest or not to ingest my AD, that is the question. I'm having sOOOO much fun tho guys! I bought this really cute coral and black jumper and silver eyeliner!!!!! Hehe for those of you who don't know me, my clothing colour pallette ordinarily consists of black grey and navy... When I do buy bright colours I normally give them to Jordan after a few months. I don't hear her complaining!!!! Bwahahaaaaa __________________ DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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| Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, downandlonely, ~Christina
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bpcyclist, ~Christina
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given
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Jul 04, 2020 at 04:13 PM
#114
14 hrs. with kitten on tummy...
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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| Anonymous41462
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given
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Jul 05, 2020 at 04:54 AM
#115
Lia .. As always I demand a Pic of this outfit and silver liner??? I know that is gonna make your eyes pop ! Yeah Jordan will benefit LOL
Your country and the decision to knock cigs to the black market is retarded , but Hey Shes raking in Millions  Maybe split AD in half??? could be a happy medium? I dunno can you call Parker Monday am and ask him ?? I just dont wanna have to paddle to you and glue you back together unless it includes fruity drinks with umbrellas on the beach...But then hey 
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Trippin2.0
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given
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Jul 05, 2020 at 04:56 AM
#116
Sleep is a nasty 5 letter word right now
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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| Nammu
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,285
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.6k hugs
given
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Jul 05, 2020 at 12:14 PM
#117
Wow, I slept well last night. I woke only once around 3am but was able to fall back asleep. Who ha what a difference it makes. My eyes are not all gritty. Barely remember the dreams tho, sometiing about a colorful bus and war veterans getting books that came in white paper, like candies. And shopping at target.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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| Anonymous41462, ~Christina
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~Christina
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.6k hugs
given
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Jul 05, 2020 at 12:16 PM
#118
I only got a few hours last night. According to FitBit I didn't sleep at all.
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| Nammu, ~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given
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Jul 05, 2020 at 03:28 PM
#119
Nammu .... I am soooooooooooooo Happy for you
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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| Nammu
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Nammu
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given
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Jul 05, 2020 at 04:53 PM
#120
6 hours, pretty typical, then, Albert started licking my cheek...
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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