A change in secondary diagnosis?

This has been the hardest era of my life to date. Every step forward leaves me two steps back. As many of you may remember I lose my job about a year ago, and my marriage — divorce finalized in December of 2019. I was living with my mother and that was a hassle in itself. It got to the point I couldn’t take the verbal abuse anymore and I left. My friend who said I could stay with him bailed out on me and so I’m left to the little money I have and basically sleeping parking lots or a cheap hotel when I can. Good news- I was hired at amazon but I don’t start until the 12th. I also had an interview for a teaching job. All of this is in Louisville, about an hour and a half from everything I know. I’m scared to death of driving in a big city but I’m getting better. I am still on Medicaid because I don’t have income and Louisville is large enough to have social aids that readily available. I have a new therapist (first actual one in Kentucky. I’ve worked through better help for years). And q new psychiatrist. I’ve already had my initial meeting with my therapist, and I’m not a big fan. I felt judged from the moment I opened my mouth. I know I have to give her a chance, but it I couldn’t be fully open due to fear of her reactions. I see a psychiatrist next week. I have medicine until then so mental health is taken care of; a job that pays weekly is guaranteed just delayed and perhaps a job I want on the way too.... but living out of my car is very hard.

The therapist kind of threw me for a loop though. After our 30 minute initial meeting (telehealth), she immediately set up an appointment for Wednesday (tomorrow). She also said she doesn’t think I have anxiety she things it’s PTSD. I’m not sure if I can subscribe to that concept based on how I understand it, but she is the professional and as I told her — labels mean little right now to me. I just want to get on me feet and feel better. So I guess she thinks I’m bipolar and have PTSD. Have you ever been surprised by a diagnosis ? Again, it’s not that important but I’m just having a harder time seeing the fit: clearly no one here can diagnose nor am I giving information for you to conclude something... my question is simply have you ever had a diagnosis that seemed a bit quit and based on how you understand it; doesn’t seem exactly a fit? I know the best option is to talk to her about it but again — no rapport yet and I feel she is judgemental . I’m willing to give her a chance though.

[and to the admins— please do not move the thread somewhere else. This is my community and I’m asking them because I trust them and their experience would be more insightful to me due to related conditions. Not that my opinion matters , but I do think it’s a bit rude to move threads without consent. Sometimes people choose to post where they feel most comfortable. I hope that isn’t a problem. Thanks}

Nice to hear from you again, Marcus. I an so sorry for your incredible struggles, but so excited about the chance for a better future with a little security now.

Nonjudgmentalism is actually one of the four necessary components of empathy, so, a bit worried about what you said about that T. Maybe next visit will be better. You know what? I would just be direct. Tell her you think she judged you. Do that. See what her reaction is, that will speak volumes about who she really is. Just a thought.

I lived with an incorrect major depression diagnosis for many years. I knew it was not quite right, but was nto sure why. Then, I got manic/psychotic and it all sorted out.

So, yeah, been there. I think it happens quite a bit until docs and therapists really can sort out what is going on, with our help, obviously. Do you have no trauma history or something?

Happy to hear from you! Living out of your car must be so hard tho. Glad you have some good things on the horizon with the Amazon job and the possible teaching position.

I was surprised to get a PTSD diagnosis at one point. The therapist said she didn't think there was anything wrong with me physically, brain-chemistry-wise, not bipolar. But this therapist also cried during my intake, blew me kisses over the phone and paid for my therapy so she did not seem super competent or professional. This was 25 years ago and i've concluded that while i may have PTSD in addition to bipolar it is definitely the bipolar that is running my life.

I feel living in a city big enough to have support organizations will be good for you as it has been for me when i had tough times. It's an adjustment but worth it. If driving is too much remember there is always public transit.

I agree with bpcyclist, that it would be good to be direct with the therapist and ask if she is judging you. I've asked for clarification recently several times and always been glad i did.

Nice to hear from you and hope you will stick around!

My hat is off to you for making it through so many really rough challenges. It's wonderful to hear that there are some promising opportunities coming your way.

As for diagnosis...well, my first thoughts about yours is that anxiety can be (often is) an aspect of bipolar disorder. And anxiety is always a part of PTSD. I mean...PTSD is essentially all about anxiety.

As for my own diagnosis, I think I was pretty surprised when my dx went from major depression to "agitated depression" to bipolar 1.

It took me years, many years, to truly believe the bipolar dx. Finally, this year I looked back over a number of episodes and events and admitted, and accepted, that I have bipolar disorder. There's no denying it anymore.

My diagnosis also changed from major depression to bipolar 1. Even hospitalized for a manic episode it still took me a few years to finally accept the bipolar! I also have BPD but never really had a problem accepting that.

The bipolar really threw me for a loop. However my meds are working and my prns work when I realize to take them. And I recognize the differences between the moods and also realize that what I felt was decades of deep depression was probably a lot of mixed episodes along with the depression.

I wish I didn't have bipolar but it is what it is.

I also do have PTSD but it has been untreated and I am old now and feeling newly stable again so I probably will leave the PTSD issues alone. They really aren't bothering me that much at this time in my life.

Thanks everyone for your responses -- my therapist has decided on weekly meetings until she can get a better grasp on my situation current and past. We'll see how it goes. It's all interconnected I guess, I'm just afraid of what is to come.

I was surprised by my diagnosis of bipolar 1 disorder at first, but only because back in high school when a lot of my friends thought I had some form of bipolar and urged me to see my guidance counselor, I told my counselor about my concerns and she told me that I couldn't possibly be bipolar because I was "just a typical teenager"... and she assured me that "all teenagers have mood swings". I believed her, until an antidepressant I took triggered a severe mania& I got my bipolar diagnosis. (Which, looking back, so many things make much more sense.)

Marcus Aurelius, I am also happy to see you back. I hope that very soon you will have a more comfortable living situation. It is terrible that you have had to resort to living out of your car.

I don't have much to add to what has already been written by others, but will recommend that you not dwell too much on the new secondary diagnosis that much right now. It sounds like you haven't met with this new therapist that many times so far. In my view, a therapist shouldn't unequivocally diagnose anything without spending a good amount of time with a client. In the meantime, I wish she would concentrate on how to support you during this transition in your life.

I saw a psychiatrist when I was 16. I asked my parents to take me to one because something felt off. Well this Freudian just said I was "a normal teenager" and that was it. This even though I'd been having audio hallucinations.

I too had hallucinations (mine were auditory and visual) when I was in high school. I did tell my mom about my auditory ones because it bothered me more that I was hearing this voice that would sometimes say my name, than seeing Jimi Hendrix in my Spanish class. lol. My mom's reaction though was that she believed I was "making it up" and somehow "pretending" to hear voices. So I decided to never mention any of my hallucinations to her again. When I was almost 16, I lost one of my best friends and the day I found out, I saw what I call his ghost in front of me as if he were actually standing there. I told the guidance counselor who was meeting with students who knew my friend and she said it was normal, and while in that instance, it may have been a "normal" thing, I interpreted my various visual hallucinations as "normal" for a long time until someone else told me that what I was experiencing wasn't something everyone did..