Bipolar check-in #48

Ugggghhhh. So I've been inside of my apartment since achilles surgery on 5/28, except for 2 times when I had doctor's appointments. I've been doing well with being inside all of the time, but just lately I've been feeling a bit down. I need to be outside some and see something besides the inside of my apartment.

Our beautiful library is 1 1/2 blocks from my home. They're doing curbside pick-up and a book I'd ordered came in. I decided I would take the plunge, try a short walk. Put on my walking boot and off I went with my library card, 2 books to return, my key, and my mask.

It's a gorgeous summer day and the walk over was lovely. It felt incredible to walk without pain! I reached the curbside pick-up spot and- I'd forgotten my phone I felt like screaming!

Turned around and walked back home and, by that time my leg was feeling sore. So, no book, but at least I did have a really encouraging little walk.

Hopefully my husband will be able to pick up the book for me before the library closes.

I'm still exercising but i don't feel any different.

I got a Fitbit to help me track my activity and sleep. It's pretty good. I set some activity goals and try to stick to them. I'm hoping all this activity will help with the depression I'm experiencing.

I increase my Wellbutrin in a few days but I don't think it'll help with the depression. I was on the higher dose before and was still depressed, but it did help to reduce the body pains.

Here I am. I straightened the kitchen and livingroom today. I went to the store. (But I forgot to get milk!) So I feel I was productive today.

Every year, we have to have an anual inspection of the apartment. Its usually in August but I hadn't gotten any notice which I thought was weird. So they called today to say that they are doing the inspection over the phone this year! How can you do that? BUT, she asked if I had any problems and I told her about the shower not draining properly and she said they'd have someone come to make sure it had been fixed??? How can they not come because of the virus but come to check on the drain?

It takes ages to get this place spic and span for the inspection, so I've started straightening and cleaning. The original inspection date was supposed to be next week! But they always give about a month's notice before they come. Today was the first I'd heard of it this year. So tomorrow, I must continue cleaning. N3 has two rooms full of junk PLUS his bathroom to clean and I told him he has to do it very soon. Partly because I'm afraid they'll still look around when they come to check on the drain, but also just to get it picked up in general. Its just STUFF! I could just throw it all in garbage bags but N3 really needs to sort through it.

I slept in today. Meh. I was so proud of myself yesterday for getting up at 10!

I made liver and onions tonight. I cooked it well- fried it in flour and raw egg. It was pretty good. I heard it has lots of vitamins and other nutrients. I don't think its my new favorite thing but it was ok .

Did your husband get the book for you? Glad you got out but sorry your leg was protesting and you didnt get your book.

you are wise beyond your years.

I've watched Dr. Mike's videos. He's pretty cool. Also I like Mama Doctor Jones. She's an OB/GyN and is very funny yet straight to the point when it comes to medical facts. She also seems to know who Dr. Mike is.

I can relate. Our power has gone out ever couple months for thelast year, including twice in the last month. Yay for the AC!

Steve was out on his mower today he was very happy, Hot but happy ! He thinks he will feel fine tomorrow .. He will be wiped out physically tomorrow. But I loved seeing him able to up and doing stuff.

I'm very worried about my friend.. She's going through hell.. and nothing I can really do

This heat is brutal. I know going back on psych meds is causing me more problems with heat... Meh! But no side effects of course its too early to tell if they are going to help anything ! hurry up and wait I guess

Air hugs to all, Between COVID and this heat I dont want to touch anyone

Thank you, I think you're right. I definitely haven't watched the news in a long time (even before covid) because it gets me in such a negative mind set. Given how prone I am to rumination, the news just isn't healthy for me.

I'm finding it hard to keep myself distracted with books and movies and such because for some reason, the tiniest thing seems to somehow remind me of the whole ordeal again and sets off the anxiety. People keep saying things that remind me, I keep seeing things that remind me, etc. The best distraction I can think of right now is work and sports, but I still just get really emotional at random moments.



Yes, I agree, it totally feels like it's seen as not such a big deal. I tried to talk to them about alternatives, to see if we could come to some kind of compromise, but the people who had a say about the covid policy wouldn't even get back to me...

Yesterday was a Modest Mouse marathon, today is Chevelle. Have been blaring it since 6am and I hope my asshat/drug dealing neighbors can hear it (they're into rap). Still do not have access to my keys although I think I'm well enough to drive now. Need to call the gynecologist today. I don't even remember who she/he is or where she/he is located. Yesterday I realized it's been well over three years since I got the implant and now I'm on Tegretol and I've had otherwise unprotected sex and have not had my period so.... f**k.

I think the crash is coming.

feeling mostly okay.

a little irritated because I was meant to get a delivery from the supermarket but they've let me down for a second week running, so need to sort that out.

but otherwise good, I think

Reading that Steve was outside on a mower is such a good news to read, after him being so ill for so long. I realize he still has major challenges, but the mower sure seems like lovely progress, to me.

I hope your friend's situation improves very soon.

The heat is a hell for me, too, and I'm sure my medications are players in that (and maybe perimenopause). I'm glad you are not experiencing any other side effects.

I was complaining about hot flashes (or whatever they are) for a while, so my husband bought me two fans. One is a little one I can wear around my neck. Another is a slightly bigger one that is also portable. Both are chargeable with micro USB ports, so I can even charge one in the car. It's also rare to see me without a glass or insulated water bottle of ice water.

To try to help w my depression, I am running again. Brutal. Totally difft muscles than bike. 100 mile on bike--cake. 1.5 miles running, back killing me!! Oh well. The 3 hrs after my run last nt, felt best I have in a month. BDNF release is apparently a real thing for me.

So, gotta run. That simple.

Stay cool, Soupe.

Hugs

Feeling great, really mellow, feel I'm less hyper than I have been. Hope this last

A pretty sleepless night. I think I slept through two movies on t.v. Does that count as sleep?

I didn’t sleep that well last night from caffeine. My anxiety is a bit of a mess today because of lack of sleep and more caffeine. My moods are ok. I’m making better food choices though. I just got suddenly grossed out by all the unhealthy crap I was eating. My weight is turning to muscle so I look like I’m losing a lot more weight then I am. I think I’ve actually lost about 6 pounds. 4-5 of that was unintentionally. I’m still in pain and I have the chills right now. I was just about to go take my temp. The ER visit was 2 weeks ago and the doctors appointment will be 2 weeks ago tomorrow. So I should be good from those places regarding COVID. Besides that all I’ve done these last 2 weeks is vague gas station running around looking for the new Mountain Dew and I’ve gone to a couple grocery stores. I go back for a second follow up tomorrow.

My temp is 98.8. I’m not really panicking right now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 Did your husband get the book for you? Glad you got out but sorry your leg was protesting and you didnt get your book.

Yes, he did

Good luck with the inspection! They're never fun. But remember that the inspection is to check to be sure everything is in working order. As long as your place is not so stacked with stuff it's a fire hazard, they don't pay the least bit of attention to your housekeeping. I've been through so many inspections and stressed myself practically sick about cleaning, only to find the inspectors didn't even glance at my house cleaning efforts

What a nightmare going to the grocery store! We've mostly been ordering groceries delivered, but I decided to try the store to pick up a few things. Of course that turned into more than a few. I don't know if I just didn't notice quite as much, in the past, or if it's more frequent, but people block products or stand there for what seems like hours contemplating the meaning of life. Or the meaning of the product, itself. I believe in the past I just said "Excuse me" and reached near them. Now with the social distancing, I have to wait...and wait....and wait. One couple were comparing expiration dates on cans of tuna. As if tuna in a can will expire in a week. It would probably be fine for 10 years!

Some poor clearly European lady was struggling in the tuna section, too. She asked "Miss, is this chicken or tuna? It's confusing. I'm looking for chicken." I looked at it and it was Chicken of The Sea tuna. I simply told her that it was tuna and that the brand name is just stupid. I honestly didn't know where canned chicken was since I've never bought chicken canned.

By the time I got to my car I was soaked wet with sweat. Then when I got home I just lost it. Luckily, my husband stepped away from his work (he's still working from home) to help me bring the stuff in. I had gone to the pharmacy twice during that trip. Once to pick up my husband's med, then I remembered I needed my Klonopin, so went back on my way home from the store. I did NOT want to have to go out again tomorrow or the next day. I figured I'd just make myself suffer today and be done with it.

My husband and I have to do a lot of research to find a place that will test and provide results for covid-19 within less than 72 hours. We don't have symptoms, but need the test before we fly abroad in four weeks. Most testing sites only provide results in five to seven days at the earliest. That won't fly because that long will prevent us from flying.

My husband's friend got back from Europe about five days ago. He took his daughter and her friend with him, as a b-day present to his daughter. He and his daughter have joint citizenship US/EU country. He had to finagle a way of getting the friend approved. My husband and I can go because my husband is an EU country citizen (and US citizen). I can go because I'm a spouse of an EU citizen. But we still need the covid-19 test results within the less than 72 hour test to result period. His friend said that his daughter and her friend enjoyed the trip not just because of the thrill of a vacation abroad, but because they said it was refreshing and a relief to be able to walk around normally (no masks needed, no required social-distancing, restaurants open inside, etc.) I look forward to that, too. It's almost be like a "Calgon, take me away!" experience. Once we're in Europe, we can travel, without issues, between other European countries.

Rough day. My youngest pulled a heavy swivel stool onto himself and hit his head pretty hard on one side and the chair lacerated his forehead on the other side. His head was pretty dented in and he needed stitches. Watching him for concussion signs now, but he's taking it all like a champ. The last place I wanted to be during covid is a pediatric urgent care center, but head trauma always requires a visit. Luckily it was not crowded. I was pretty scared for a while there, but we're home safe now and watching a movie.

Hugs to all.

My mom showed me some Facebook pictures of my cousin’s son who got married and of the party. It was good to see my cousins. She also showed me pics of my sister out having a good time. My point is they all have jobs and social lives and are out there living life like I want to. My journey is vastly different due to this illness and sometimes that really stings. I’m staying away from Facebook for awhile. I’m bummed out over it. I’m wasting my time.