Bipolar check-in #48

Jul 10, 2020 at 05:56 AM

I have a sore feeling underneath my sternum. It is not a sore throat, but almost a crampy like feeling? A dull pain. I don't know. I woke up like this and I don't feel like eating.

Also, I know this will sound weird, but I wonder if my esophagus is narrowing. I was swallowing some food yesterday and it seemed to get stuck around my sternum area... the same spot that is crampy.

I hope the feeling goes away soon, or at least sometime within the day. No idea what the heck is this feeling or why it occurred, but maybe it was sore because the food got stuck.

I wasn't even swallowing big amounts of food. I was eating frozen French fries that I unthawed in the oven. Ate one at a time.

I am NOT going to the doctor unless it gets worse. I hope it doesn't get worse, though.

In other news, I have a busy day ahead of me. Lots and lots of work...

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

N3 was here for a while getting his computer. He showed me his school schedule- its only 2 days a week but its full time.

The power went out around 5 and their first estimate was 10 p.m. for it to be back on. Then they said 7:30 then it actually came back on around 630. The power goes out here a lot! Several times a year! I am not pleased to say the least. Its always "equipment failure" for a reason. I'm just glad it came back on. I might sleep downstairs tonight on the couch because its cooler. We'll see.

Sure is quiet around here without N3. We were singing earlier- terribly but we were singing together! I cherish these moments.

I called the complex office today too since my shower drain is very slow. I shower with water to my ankles! I suppose they'll come tomorrow as they didn't today. Sleep is still messed up. I didnt even hear my alarm this morning- I am just too deeply asleep at 6 a.m. which is really making it difficult to get out and walk when its cooler in the mornings. I havent been in a walk in a week what with the weather Being "real feel" of 106 during the afternoons and my sleep being off.

Hey, Moose, I hope sleep improves. I am also struggling. Try to find a way to get outside even for a few minutes, go in the evenings. I am sure it is still hotter than heck, but, you coul dhandle ten minutes, likely, Probably would help you a little. It is almost always cool here morning at night, even when it gets into the 100s. We just do not have any humidity ever, which is also a huge gift.

Your power outages I am assuming are due to t-storms?

Hugs!!!!!!!!

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

***Got my cast off!***

So when I went back into the cast room in the medical building the tech mentioned that my surgeon was out because his wife is in labor with their daughter! That's wonderful news, and why no one told me the truth instead of jerking me around with lies, I do not know.

Getting the cast off felt so liberating. I had had no idea of how cumbersome and uncomfortable a cast can be. X-rays looked fine, incision good. So I now have a walking boot for 15 days. It's much more comfortable than the cast and I don't have to wear it to sleep or shower.

Yes!!!!!!!

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

So I'm depressed. I'm trying to keep busy but I'm really tired. I'm trying to stay positive but I really just want to sh at least. I know I can't and it bothers the hell out of me. I need to be strong right now. Im trying to destract myself. I spoke to t today. She's trying to get me to be hopeful. I can't wait for my colored pencils to come in. That's all I'm looking forward to. I don't see pdoc for about 5 weeks. I talk to t next week.

I am so sorry you are struggling. What about letting pdoc know what is happening? 5 weeks is a looooong time to wait...

Strength and support!!!!!!

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I have a sore feeling underneath my sternum. It is not a sore throat, but almost a crampy like feeling? A dull pain. I don't know. I woke up like this and I don't feel like eating.

Also, I know this will sound weird, but I wonder if my esophagus is narrowing. I was swallowing some food yesterday and it seemed to get stuck around my sternum area... the same spot that is crampy.

I hope the feeling goes away soon, or at least sometime within the day. No idea what the heck is this feeling or why it occurred, but maybe it was sore because the food got stuck.

I wasn't even swallowing big amounts of food. I was eating frozen French fries that I unthawed in the oven. Ate one at a time.

I am NOT going to the doctor unless it gets worse. I hope it doesn't get worse, though.

In other news, I have a busy day ahead of me. Lots and lots of work...

Always possible you are having a little reflux. Also, there is a weird thing called esophageal spasm, which is just what it sounds like. Hope it goes away. There are good OTC things for reflux, like Prevacid.

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:01 AM

I feel totally hungover, even though I do not drink or take drugs. Maybe it will get better.

Albert is acting like he is on meth. My legs and arms are so scratched up, they actually hurt. He has all these toys and I play with him with them, but he really just wants to climb up my legs and attack the phone. How do I stop this behavior? I do not know what to do. When our dogs used to get like this, we just went to the dog park, but cannot do that here...

Hugs an d love.

Sometimes psychotic · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I feel totally hungover, even though I do not drink or take drugs. Maybe it will get better.

Albert is acting like he is on meth. My legs and arms are so scratched up, they actually hurt. He has all these toys and I play with him with them, but he really just wants to climb up my legs and attack the phone. How do I stop this behavior? I do not know what to do. When our dogs used to get like this, we just went to the dog park, but cannot do that here...

Hugs an d love.

Does he have a cat tree?

Mountaindewed · Jul 10, 2020 at 01:12 PM

I’m doing a lot better then I’ve been doing these past few days. I’ve still had thoughts and feelings but not like the last 3 days. I know I usually do better on Fridays Saturdays and Sunday's. Which I don’t get since I don’t work and every day should be the same. I did take the increase in Geodon this morning. So I went from 60 to 80. I couldn’t do that before because the 80 in the morning made me too tired to work. I took it at 3AM and then I went back to sleep. Then I got up at 5:30 and took my other 2 meds and tried watching TV but I was too tired and went back to sleep until 8:30. But I’m not tired now and I’m not having any other side effects which is good. Hopefully the increase helps.

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Does he have a cat tree?

This is it for now. He climbs the spokes up the wheel. Does not seem to like this short scratching post. Do I need sthing else?

Nammu · Jul 10, 2020 at 03:28 PM

I got my cat a tall scratching post from a farm store. He loves it cause he can streaches out while he's scratching. I don't have room for a cat tree or those lovely multi level play grounds but I made room for this post. It has thick rope wrapped around it and he's nearly cut it in half despite the fact I clip his nails! He loves it. I had one of the short ones but he didn't love that.

It's a lovely, lovely day out. Calm, sunny and not too hot or humid. As soon as the shade covers the deck I'm going out to enjoy it.

Sunflower123 · Jul 10, 2020 at 03:53 PM

I’m still having a really tough time with depression and hopelessness. I find some relief when I float or sit in the sun but there’s only so much of that you can do in this weather (it’s 91F). I’m reading as well and my daughter will call tonight. I really appreciate the support and concern. I’ll be okay. It’s just unusual (and unwanted) for July.

I’m going back up to Gatlinburg at the end of July. I’ll keep my mind set on that.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

swimmingly · Jul 10, 2020 at 04:33 PM

Still stuck in mixed mania (day 10 or 11). Feel like utter crap. Does anyone get brain zaps during mania or depression? I know its common with med withdrawal. I'm however not withdrawing.

I thought a day or so ago that mania was fading, was totally convinced of it. Positively. Am not anymore. Blegh.

Sending positive thoughts to others.

falcon09 · Jul 10, 2020 at 05:55 PM

I wish I could shut my brain off.

It's friday and I'm worrying about labs monday

~Christina · Jul 10, 2020 at 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m still having a really tough time with depression and hopelessness. I find some relief when I float or sit in the sun but there’s only so much of that you can do in this weather (it’s 91F). I’m reading as well and my daughter will call tonight. I really appreciate the support and concern. I’ll be okay. It’s just unusual (and unwanted) for July.

I’m going back up to Gatlinburg at the end of July. I’ll keep my mind set on that.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Im sorry things are tough right now

Im glad the floating is helping, I wish the good feeling lasted longer for you tho.

Life is just so difficult on so many levels and Yeah this heat??? Oh my god ! I know its summer but why why why why so miserable

I'd focus on Gatlinburg too

Tucson · Jul 10, 2020 at 08:01 PM

I am enduring swings of depression, but it does not last long.. I think anxiety and stress is causing this to happen. I have problems at work, and with my finances. I need to work on clearing my mind and helping it focus.

Moose72 · Jul 10, 2020 at 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Hey, Moose, I hope sleep improves. I am also struggling. Try to find a way to get outside even for a few minutes, go in the evenings. I am sure it is still hotter than heck, but, you coul dhandle ten minutes, likely, Probably would help you a little. It is almost always cool here morning at night, even when it gets into the 100s. We just do not have any humidity ever, which is also a huge gift.

Your power outages I am assuming are due to t-storms?

Hugs!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the hugs! The power outtages are usually from "equipment failure". No storm involved.

*Beth* · Jul 10, 2020 at 10:48 PM

I just turned to see the most gorgeous sunset! Fluffs of coral clouds painted across a turquoise sky. Desert sky...it was 101 degrees today, as it will be tomorrow. Looking forward to lying down to read and watch the moon appear.

I got to wash (and shave!) my leg and foot today - first time in 6 weeks! Yay! It felt sooo good And I got my first look at the incision, which is longer and wider than I had thought it was.

I have some old Seroquel around, I might take 12mg to help me sleep. I hate to take Seroquel, of all meds. I feel like I can't manage another night of being awake for hours, though.

Nammu · Jul 10, 2020 at 10:55 PM

Sleep is just so important that sometimes ya just gotta grit yer teeth and swallow meds that give us a bit of sleep. Glad you experienced an awesome sunset. Hope the moon provides good dreams

Polibeth · Jul 11, 2020 at 01:53 AM

Husband informed me that he resents that I don't work full-time (I'm on SSDI) while he has to work in the 90+ degree heat. I just got out of 5 days IP along with having ECT so it's not like now is a good time to return to work, even part-time. He thinks I'm using mental illness as an excuse.

I'm going to have to have a chat with him tomorrow. I was so shocked today that I wasn't able to gather my thoughts and talk to him. I need to tell him that it is not my fault his job requires that he is exposed to the weather. He's emotionally abusive anyway but this has to stop.

Mountaindewed · Jul 11, 2020 at 08:27 AM

I feel pretty good today. Then again I felt pretty good yesterday and then was a complete mess last night. I wish I knew why nights have been so difficult lately. I’m not taking anything different at night. Maybe seeing the increase in covid numbers is setting me off. I look at the CDC website right when it gets updated in the afternoon. But anyways so far today I am ok and I’m still not having any major side effects from the increase in Geodon like I thought I would. So far it’s helping me sleep better.

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Bipolar check-in #48

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swimmingly Grand Poohbah Member Since Jun 2020 Location: Central Massachusetts USA Posts: 1,585 3 3,398 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 04:33 PM #132 Still stuck in mixed mania (day 10 or 11). Feel like utter crap. Does anyone get brain zaps during mania or depression? I know its common with med withdrawal. I'm however not withdrawing. I thought a day or so ago that mania was fading, was totally convinced of it. Positively. Am not anymore. Blegh. Sending positive thoughts to others.

falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 05:55 PM #133 I wish I could shut my brain off. It's friday and I'm worrying about labs monday __________________

Tucson Grand Magnate Member Since Jul 2014 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 3,105 9 16 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 08:01 PM #135 I am enduring swings of depression, but it does not last long.. I think anxiety and stress is causing this to happen. I have problems at work, and with my finances. I need to work on clearing my mind and helping it focus. __________________ Dx: Bipolar I, ADD, GAD. Rx: Fluoxetine, Buproprion, Olanzapine, Lamictal, and Strattera.