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Fuzzybear
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Default Aug 23, 2020 at 11:09 AM
  #21
Hey Miss Laura,

I hope you don't mind me replying, and that it is so late. (I wasn't around much for a while). I agree with most of this post. People here do care about you, including me

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Originally Posted by fern46 View Post
Life free of meds is tricky. I'm glad it is working for you at the moment. You were struggling a week or so ago, so keep that in mind. Working means a long stretch of stability in my mind. While med free you may be able to ride the waves and go up and down, but you may eventually go too high or too low and it takes a lot of insight and monitoring of patterns to know when that happens. Even if you see it, it takes a lot of strength of will to stop what is happening as our thinking is clouded when we are sick.

I was able to do it for 10 months and I do not cycle like typical BP patients. During that time I had random delusions pop up, but they were just passing thoughts. Then, I had a trigger come into my life and it set off a chain reaction. Within a couple of days the unwanted symptoms came back. I went back on a low dose of meds immediately to protect myself and my family. I am trained professionally to analyze data and patterns and it took me a few days to see what was happening to me. I was scared and didn't want to admit I was sick, but I did it to keep everyone I love safe.

I had well defined strategies and plans in place. Even with that, it was hard to do the right thing. If you are going to self monitor, I think you need some of those skill sets. Some other members here are really great at it and I learned a lot from them.

When my doctor took me off meds I worked hard to be as balanced as possible. I do the same on meds. I work through my emotional stuff with a therapist. I focused on physical health. I worked on spiritual health. I learned everything I could about psychology and psychiatry to assist in my mental health. I put a lot of effort into getting as healthy and balanced as I could. I think that helped the episode I had a few weeks ago be less severe.

I think for me at least there may be times when I'm ok med free, but when I need them, I need them. The meds step in and save me from going down a destructive path. That is invaluable. I cannot control the electrical signals in my brain or the chemicals my body releases. I can only try to push back when I am out of balance, but it is like flying blind. Getting assistance from targeted meds just makes sense sometimes. I cannot do it all.

Have you ever taken your meds regularly? What is so bad about taking them? I feel that it makes sense to be as healthy as possible so that the amount of meds you need is as low as possible. I think it makes sense to work through some symptoms without adding extra meds. But... Fearing something that can assist you, if only situationally, is irrational. The goal should not be to be med free, it should be to be healthy in whatever form that comes in.

For me, the goal is to have the meds responsible for as little of the work as possible. I feel that is attainable and realistic. Being med free isn't a dream I'm chasing or something I will do even though symptoms are staring me in the face. I will not hide my sympyoms from my team in order to stay med free. There is zero shame in taking meds. I don't want them to control my life and it takes work to overcome the side effects. However, mania and psychosis are incredibly dangerous and serious. I will take whatever help I can get in keeping that at bay. Depression is equally as dangerous.

If it were me, I would just be completely honest on the 11th. I would explain how you feel about meds ad that you want to do the work to take as little as possible. Or, tell them you refuse meds and want to try without them for longer. Then, do the work. Work on yourself holistically. Learn how to properly monitor yourself and stop hiding things from your family and providers. If you have to hide, something is wrong. Its that simple. When you're there, if meds are the answer, be prepared to care for yourself properly.

Good luck with this. I genuinely hope you can work something out you can feel good about. Your health is so important. You owe it to yourself to fight for what you want, but just make sure you're doing it honestly and safely.

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Default Aug 23, 2020 at 11:51 AM
  #22
I just got back on meds 2 weeks ago. I was off them since April, and only on them feb-april of this year. And all of 2019, I was off them. I actually hadn't had that major of depressions, just hypomanias that I couldn't recognize that made me do strange things like drink 20 cups of coffee in a single day and not sleep at all for days. I didn't even know I was in hypomania. I also deal with dissociation so I feel as though I don't recognize my episodes sometimes. Anyways, it feels better to be back on a med but I have mixed feelings about being back on it. I want to be off them, but I know I just can't deal with my symptoms without them. I found the keto diet kept me from being depressed or I would just have a mild depression, but it didn't stop the hypo episodes with impulsive, dangerous decisions so I know I at least need 1 or 2 meds. Maybe you can talk to your doc about just taking 1 or 2 and not being on a bunch. That was why I had quit taking them previously.

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Default Aug 23, 2020 at 01:09 PM
  #23
How is Miss Laura feeling?

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Default Aug 23, 2020 at 01:16 PM
  #24
Hey im currently doing great thanks still have symptoms obviously but no paranoia etc nothing too serious. I have now moved back to my flat so I have privacy and can just be me. I am talking to s lot of guys and a few girls but im doing good. A guy came over the other day

My Sister and i had a bust up last Saturday she threatened to call the police on me if i left her flat and said she would say i am off my meds and am a danger to myself and others. What a complete *****. I have been told the police wouldn't do anything so thats good to know. She is so vindictive
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Default Aug 23, 2020 at 01:26 PM
  #25
What can we do to support you while you're on the outs with your family?

Please be careful inviting strangers over for sex. This has always been a sign things are going in a bad direction in the past. Be safe, ok?
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Default Aug 23, 2020 at 01:29 PM
  #26
I don't know what I need... my Sister and i are talking but I will be very wary about what I tell her from now on as she will just use it against me. Involving the police was the lowest of the lows.

Yeah it was just one guy we fooled about didn't gave full sex just fooled about

Thank you for listening
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Default Aug 23, 2020 at 01:37 PM
  #27
Maybe you should think about honestly checking in here every day as a way to help us help you and also to help keep you accountable. And safe. If you lose insight, you might think very dangerous things are a terrific idea. Just an idea.

Glad you are safe.

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Default Aug 23, 2020 at 02:33 PM
  #28
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
Maybe you should think about honestly checking in here every day as a way to help us help you and also to help keep you accountable. And safe. If you lose insight, you might think very dangerous things are a terrific idea. Just an idea.


Glad you are safe.
Hey ok I will post on this post if that's OK or I might make a new post up ok thank you
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Default Aug 23, 2020 at 05:55 PM
  #29
I think it would be great if you'd check in every day

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Default Sep 01, 2020 at 04:35 AM
  #30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Laura View Post
So as you all know I'm off my meds and i think I'm doing pretty good.

Has anyone been successful off the meds? Is it do-able?

I'm gonna speak to my worker on 11th and see what she says. I tried calling my CPN yesterday to discuss this but she wasn't answering her phone. The receptionist said I could leave a message but I declined.

I'm pretty mellow these days i think I have been off my meds for 7 weeks max. I forget lol.
Does your treatment team know about your medication change? Like did you stop and taper yourself or did they tell you how to do it?

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Default Sep 01, 2020 at 04:36 AM
  #31
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Does your treatment team know about your medication change? Like did you stop and taper yourself or did they tell you how to do it?
No I came off cold turkey a few months ago I think its 3 months I'm not too sure. They knew I came off then maybe 2 months into me being off them maybe sooner I don't know
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