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Turiya0168
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Default Aug 07, 2020 at 09:47 AM
  #1
Hi my name is Turiya, I'm almost 60 and for the first time have received a diagnosis of BiPolar 2. It's accurate, according to a long history of patterns I've identified.

For most of my life I've been misdiagnosed with Major Depression. As such my treatments were rarely effective over the long haul. I take responsibility for obscuring certain variables to all the clinicians I've seen over the past 30 years.
As usual, I screwed myself.

I'm happy to have found this group. Presently I'm feeling exceedingly demoralized. It's a vicious diagnosis. I'm grieving the loss of some ideals I've held regarding what was possible for me in this life. I'm sure its possible (tho not probable) I'll be one of the lucky few that gets their medication down right quickly. I might be able to turn things around and salvage my job. But at my age it's fair to say I'll never be able to handle a high stress job (my chosen career path), probably will never be able to compete at a high enough level to earn real income, and probably won't ever have the family I always wanted.

I feel like I'm not capable of producing at a high level anymore, and things are looking pretty grim. **** it, the only thing to do is surrender to the reality of what IS. I guess it's about time. Too little, too late.

Hoping I can make some meaningful connections in this group while I learn what I need to learn to optimize my capacity in spite of things. Thank you.
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Default Aug 07, 2020 at 02:39 PM
  #2
Welcome to Psych Central, Turiya! I'm glad you joined us.

You're far from alone in not receiving the right diagnosis until older in life, and leaving out (or not thinking about) certain information when seeking help from doctors. I think it was/is especially common among people who reached adulthood well before Y2K. I'm heading towards 50 years old and when I was diagnosed at 32, I didn't even know what bipolar disorder (or manic depression) really was. Given that, how could I have known to talk about it. I thought my elevated moods were just me, and a pretty danged good me. When my moods were mixed, I just thought of them as a brain flu that would subside, and not a mental illness.

I think it is pretty common for people with bipolar disorder to be sensitive to stress. Or even very sensitive. I am. Even when I was more productive in my youth, I was sensitive to it. I managed a bit better then, in some respects, but not in all. It's possible that you will be able to continue in your old/current career, or if you can't/don't, it's not the end of the world. I know that I can not do, now, what I did at my old job, but there are some things I've improved at. The new directions my mind has gone in since, are interesting ones. I don't make as much money, but there are more valuable things in life than money. And some do find different ways to make money in new fields.

I don't know what you are referring to when you say you won't have the family you always wanted. No matter what, family comes in various forms. If you had wanted a child and never had one, I suppose 60 years old would be a little too late...for most. But there are ways of having such a relationship without giving birth. As for a spouse, there are people out there that want a relationship, too. Believe me. If you do have children, nothing says that the relationships are over. Not everyone holds permanent grudges, especially if some amends are offered and/or made. If they don't budge, then that's something that must be accepted and moved on from. I know this situation very well, unfortunately.

Again, I'm glad you're here.
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Default Aug 07, 2020 at 02:46 PM
  #3
Hi, Turiya. Welcome. I was dx'd MDD in 97 but had a manic and psychotic episode in 05, so, it happens.

Why do you think it will be worse now knowing the correct name?

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Default Aug 07, 2020 at 05:27 PM
  #4
Welcome to this board, Turiya. I'm 57 and resonate with some of the subjects you've mentioned. This forum, and this board is an excellent place to find support and information.

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Default Aug 07, 2020 at 06:57 PM
  #5
Welcome.

I like to refer people who are new to this web page: www.psycheducation.org It's written by a psychiatrist who specializes in BP2 (although I've found it very helpful with BP1 as well) and covers everything that I worried about when I was newly diagnosed as well as lots more information. I still go check things out there sometimes when I'm not sure and I'm 18 years into my diagnosis.

I hope you find lots of help and support here as well. This is a good place.

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Default Aug 07, 2020 at 08:47 PM
  #6
Hi, Turiya, and welcome to Psych Central! I am 65 and was diagnosed with bipolar after I had a manic episode from taking an antidepressant. Yes, I lost my high-stress job (college professor), but despite a continuing sense of loss, I have done pretty well. I want on disability and have been able to continue my free-lance writing.. I just finished my first book and am working on a second. Plus I am able to spend more time with my husband, who also turned out to be bipolar and also went on disability.

We have a great senior's forum, games forum, and many other forums that I enjoy posting in. I read a lot and post in here a great deal. It's given me a valuable and fun way to spend time. Feel free to share with us, and we can empathize and tell you our experiences and be supportive. You are definitely not alone.

Again, welcome. Here's the address of our senior's forum:
https://psychcentralforums.com/seniors-lounge/

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Default Aug 07, 2020 at 09:23 PM
  #7
Hello, Turiya!

Welcome.

I was also diagnosed with major depression - from age 25 through 33 when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I'm now 48. I also have been taking stock of my life and where I'm going and where I've been. My 40's really have rushed by and it will only get worse. Sometimes it feels like being bipolar is my "job". And I never had a career. I tried going to college in my 30's but my brain just couldn't memorize things fast enough. Then again, I was good at sociology and life course theory! I wish all the nursing classes could be that way. The older I get the more I am sad that I don't have a job. I am on disability and its good to have an income but its such a small income that I can afford my monthly bills but little more.

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Default Aug 07, 2020 at 10:02 PM
  #8
I'm only 37, I don't see myself being able to hold a friendship or a job. I raised my family, we're close but he's getting older and finding his own purpose. My husband is my care taker and he gets tired, He has his own issues too. I know you said "I take responsibility for obscuring certain variables to all the clinicians" I ask you to try and forgive yourself and work to be more honest and direct with your providers. It took my husband years to get a proper diagnosis because his (hypo)mania were not like mine so we thought his ups were normal. Our saving grace was/is our team of doctors. Do you have a therapist to help with sifting through your symptoms? I cried and cried when I received the BP dx. but it's not the life ender I thought it was when getting the diagnosis. Be careful about taking things you read online to heart because we all have different symptoms. So we all struggle with different things and succeed at different things.

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Default Aug 11, 2020 at 01:00 PM
  #9
Hi. I'm also older, 67, and dealing with a new diagnosis. I'm having many of the same feelings you are. It's scary. I can't offer any words of wisdom, but I want you to know you are not alone.
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Default Aug 11, 2020 at 04:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunny4198 View Post
Hi. I'm also older, 67, and dealing with a new diagnosis. I'm having many of the same feelings you are. It's scary. I can't offer any words of wisdom, but I want you to know you are not alone.
Welcome, Sunny. I got my correct dx at 41. Bipolar 1. Lots of psychosis, though, so, kinda schizoaffective-ish, really.

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Default Aug 12, 2020 at 12:48 AM
  #11
I was diagnosed Bipolar NOS (not otherwise specified) at age 53, and Bipolar 1 at 55. I've probably had it all my life, though I don't remember any manic episodes until my early 20s. What got my attention was the manic episode I had thanks to Wellbutrin, well, I didn't recognize it for what it was but my primary care doctor knew something was really wrong. I was livid when he referred me to a psychiatrist friend of his, but I had no choice as he refused to prescribe me any more antidepressants until I was evaluated properly.

It took that pdoc all of 90 minutes to diagnose me. I was in the middle of a bad depression at the time, but after he'd heard me describe my "up" periods he said what I had was bipolar, he just didn't know what "flavor" I had yet. That happened a couple of years later when I was hospitalized, and my status changed to BP 1. I wanted to fight it at first but eventually realized it was the correct diagnosis, and I've since been diagnosed with it three more times.

I wish I didn't have this, but in my older age I understand that it is only one part of my life, it doesn't rule me. It took a while to get the medication regimen right, but it's as perfect now as it's ever going to be and I've been stable for much of the past few years.

Welcome to PC! I hope you get a lot out of this forum. We get along pretty well and the support is excellent.

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