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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,331
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#21
Hugs and love
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Grand Member
Member Since May 2016
Location: U.S.
Posts: 944
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#22
I'm very fortunate that several years ago I found a combination of meds that have kept me relatively stable. Good therapy has helped too. I have approximately 2 episodes a year and added AP or increased AP eventually tamp them down within 3 weeks or so.
However, when just coming out of an episode, I feel so so fragile. I AM terrified of my brain, of this thing we call Bipolar Disorder. I'm afraid I will relapse, I'm afraid I will not fully recover. I get psychotic symptoms both when depressed and when hypo/manic. Sometimes when psychotic, I don't have the insight, if this makes any sense, to be afraid of my brain. Other times, I see and hear terrifying things and am aware enough to connect these to my brain, to how it is functioning, and hence the terror. __________________ Bipolar 1 Lamictal: 400 mg Latuda: 60mg Klonopin: 1 mg Propranolol: 10 mg Zoloft: 100 mg Temazepam: 15 mg Zyprexa 5-10mg prn (for Central Pain Syndrome: methadone 20 mg; for chronic back pain: meloxicam 15 mg; for migraines: prochlorperazine prn) |
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*Beth*, bpcyclist
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*Beth*, bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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#23
Hugs, Gaby. It is super duper hard.
I fear no man or woman. I know God loves us very much. But my brain still scares me. It does. I am just a feeble little human. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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*Beth*
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,128
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#24
I used to be when I first started hallucinating and having blackouts and such, but I guess I've become desensitized and sorta used to it. I don't even know what scares me anymore. Like I've conquered all fear.
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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