[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I think it might be anxiety. I personally find the less I think about ... that.. the better, I have not, however let my guard down. I stay in my cave whenever I can, Which is not fun It is quite ironic as some quack IRL once accused me of being a ''hypocondraic'' as I was worried about a legitimate severe physical symptom He did not like me because of my ''anxiety''.... grrrrr. He even lied to me about his ''3 children'' having the same issue. If that had been the case he would have known that issue is not trivial.

Appointment tomorrow. Grrrrrrrrr.

We would never treat you that way, Fuzzer.

Hugs!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Must admit that I am not thrilled about our accommodations in Barcelona. It's not Hubby's fault. The advertisement was misleading and the operators a pain in the ar**. The area is OK. We'll make it work. Maybe things will look slightly better tomorrow. I confess that when we arrived in Barcelona, I had my first anxious/frustrated rant of the vacation. I feel bad.

We went to a so-so restaurant nearby and ordered "large beers". Usually my husband drinks his and then half of mine. But to our surprise, the "large beers" were literally German Oktoberfest size steins, at least at the place we went. I drank maybe 1/4 of mine (too much for me). My husband drank all of his and the rest of mine. He got trashed and I almost had to lead him to where we're staying. Normally Czechs can handle a lot of beer (they're actually the biggest beer consumers in the world), but his Americanization has made his tolerance far lower. I'm not intoxicated, but feel a little reluctant to take my evening medications until the buzz wears off a bit. Hubby is long since asleep in the bed in his day clothes.

I truly understand very little Spanish and in the area we're at, there are no "tourist menus" in English. I guess there might be in the high tourist areas, but maybe not. In Spain right now, they are not offering physical menus. You have to scan a code with your smart phone and see it there, or simply pick something from the chalk board specials list. Of course I do know "Gracias" and when those beers came, I declared "Muy grande!" But the dish ingredients? None other than names/words most Americans would know. We do also know "alergia al ajo" (my husband has a dreaded garlic allergy, which is harder here than in France). France is many times easier for us both! We understand and speak a lot of French considering how long ago we finished our main studies. It's interesting how some places feel instantly more comfortable than others.

We're spending much more money than I hoped. Czech Republic should luckily be much less.

I just took my evening medications at 10:40 pm, instead of my usual 7 pm... and with yucky Barcelona tap water. We never made it to the supermercado (or whatever you call it). Hopefully I won't get the Spanish version of Montezuma's Revenge!

My second fave Euro city. But, last time there for work I got screamed at for not speaking Spanish. Touchy.

Does Bahthelona have the prettiest girls in Europe? Maybe. Maybe. Probably.

Those Euros and their alcohol...

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

My anger is still holding , Damn stuff can go get stuffed .... Well my Pdoc wants me to taper off 120mg Latuda he thinks that could be keeping my anger going.. Who knows but Ill try it..

He upped my Cogentin to twice a day which is a given.

The last couple days my back has been okay finally ! Well I dropped a dish towel bend down and I swear I felt like some stabbed right through me, I cried out it is so awful..... SO back on my Tens unit, 2 different muscle relaxers, Valium piggy backing Xanax..

One thing or another.

Hope everyone is have a good day ! Gentle hugs

I have heard more bizarre SE from Latuda folks than any other drug recently. Spooks me.

Hope the Tens works.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

I didn't have a panic attack last night! Yay! They are beyond miserable. I'm actually feeling ok. My son just started on an increased dose of invega. I'm hoping that helps him. He really, really needs to shower. I wont say how long its been but its been awhile.

Hope everyone is having a good day. hugs to those that need them...

Yay!!!!!!!!!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m sooo tired. My anxiety has lessened some. Every time the phone rings in my classroom though, I’m expecting it to be The Call. So far I guess he’s still hanging on. As usual I haven’t heard any updates.

My student really struggled today. Laying on the floor, throwing things, cursing everyone out. I heard he was inpatient for a couple of weeks over the summer so I can imagine he hasn’t gotten his meds right yet. My team and I strategized some behavior intervention options. I think it’s going to take awhile to get him on track. I went through his bin though and confiscated any projectiles. Basically left him his books and that’s about it.

My supervisor was a real piece of work today. She’s insisting we stay in our masking tape “bubbles” which I understand is necessary for social distancing but kind of impossible for the type of school we’re in. She called out my team specifically in front of everyone. Like really, that’s not necessary. You don’t have to name names. But she’s always like that so why should I expect anything different, honestly.

Still getting nauseous after eating sometimes. Could be anxiety though.

Feel better, wfc...

[Sunflower123]

Doing much better with anxiety with the aid of Klonopin and reframing things. It is what it is and I’m strong enough to handle the fallout.

Let me just say one last time that I’ve had a tremendous summer and I’ve got one last sunny day to float. After that....bring on fall! Looking forward to getting into the fall vibe and catching up on my to do list.

Prayers for everyone dealing with wildfires.

Hugs to all.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I changed my avatar to a version of me (instead of n3)- a version of me which I aspire to yet again. I want to represent the real me and here I am!

Certainly looks like you, with an SNL expression of wonder...

[bpcyclist]

Rode 90 minutes, gagging on smoke. City and state ablaze, 50 mph winds. But I did it.

Hugs to all. Oh, 6 gm sarcosine a day has ended almost all my depression in 10 days. I am about 70 percent better. Just tiny anhedonia lingering, like always. Might read about it. 35 bucks a month on amazonia. Probably as important as lithium or Wellbutrin for me.

I felt strong enough to go in Scrabble Club tonight for the first time in over a month and i won all my games! Yay!

I ordered from a meal service for seniors since i have been eating so poorly. The first meal i had was good. I still ate junk tho. Sigh! Nice to know i have some proper meals on hand. I ordered late last night and they were here by 2:00pm! Now THAT'S SERVICE!

No change mood-wise tho. Maybe a little brighter.

Hugs to all who struggle!

[*Beth*]

Optometrist appointment went well and I ordered new glasses that I'm fond of. Used to wear only contact lenses, but meds have been drying my eyes out so much.

Besides that, smoke and ash. My son and daughter-in-law live in San Francisco, have been working from home since covid. But they're avid cyclists and were so done with the heavy smoke in SF that they took off and went to Portland (hi bpcyclist ) for a while....where they encountered....smoke from one of the wildfires in Oregon.

Sooo....I'm off to sleep on my ash-covered bed.


This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no foolin' around....

[Miss Laura]

Yup my Sister my lovely Twin Sister is constantly shouting and arguing with me. Thank god today us our last day at the lodge. Last night our bathroom flooded. I was trying my best but as usual it wasn't good enough. Dhe wasshouting at me and saying I'm no use etc. Charming. Then she shouted at me for snoring. She woke me up to shout at me so I couldn't even sleep in my own bed and was too scared to sleep incase I offended her. I ended up on the sofa for a few hours. But as usual im in the wrong. I can't win.

So fecking half tempted to let the 3 of them go on holiday on their own in March as if its going to be like this no thank you.

How am I today? Raging and in a lot of pain from sun stroke yes in Scotland in September you can still get sun stroke grrrr!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Doing much better with anxiety with the aid of Klonopin and reframing things. It is what it is and I’m strong enough to handle the fallout.

Let me just say one last time that I’ve had a tremendous summer and I’ve got one last sunny day to float. After that....bring on fall! Looking forward to getting into the fall vibe and catching up on my to do list.

Prayers for everyone dealing with wildfires.

Hugs to all.

So glad the Kpin is helping. I cannot take it. Really works.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I felt strong enough to go in Scrabble Club tonight for the first time in over a month and i won all my games! Yay!

I ordered from a meal service for seniors since i have been eating so poorly. The first meal i had was good. I still ate junk tho. Sigh! Nice to know i have some proper meals on hand. I ordered late last night and they were here by 2:00pm! Now THAT'S SERVICE!

No change mood-wise tho. Maybe a little brighter.

Hugs to all who struggle!

I am only 56. Could sure use food help. Gonna look into it.

Hugs!!!!!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Optometrist appointment went well and I ordered new glasses that I'm fond of. Used to wear only contact lenses, but meds have been drying my eyes out so much.

Besides that, smoke and ash. My son and daughter-in-law live in San Francisco, have been working from home since covid. But they're avid cyclists and were so done with the heavy smoke in SF that they took off and went to Portland (hi bpcyclist ) for a while....where they encountered....smoke from one of the wildfires in Oregon.

Sooo....I'm off to sleep on my ash-covered bed.


This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no foolin' around....

Arghh. The entire west coast is entirely ablaze. Our governor is predicting the biggest $$$ losses due to fire in state history. We had a fire the size of Rhode Island a few yrs ago. There is no tax revenue. Awful!!!!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Arghh. The entire west coast is entirely ablaze. Our governor is predicting the biggest $$$ losses due to fire in state history. We had a fire the size of Rhode Island a few yrs ago. There is no tax revenue. Awful!!!!

Yeah, I heard your gov speaking on TV. Oregon isn't in drought mode, is it? If not, I wonder why there are such wildfires happening.

late checking in today because I had an internet outage. (ugg they suck!)

thankfully, they arn't as bad as they used to be (where I lived before), but it still annoys me.

I also got a call from my care team today, I suppose it went well, though their was nothing really to say- the woman just wanted to reasure me " we've not forgotten you", of course, I realise that or you wouldn't have called. but yeah was still good to talk to someone, even if their was nothing really to say.

had a shopping delivery (mainly candy). looking forward to having sausages for my dinner

[Mountaindewed]

I slept from 5:30 last night until about 7:30 this morning. Waking up briefly at 1:30 to grab some melatonin and my Geodon. When I woke up I felt a lot better. I took a shower for the first time in 2 days and watched the AGT from last night. Now I just feel kinda blah and cold so I’m thinking of going to lie down. I don’t feel necessarily sick, just tired. Now it just feels weather related. Not Covid or really anything physically. But yesterday and Tuesday felt like there was something legit physical going on.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Yeah, I heard your gov speaking on TV. Oregon isn't in drought mode, is it? If not, I wonder why there are such wildfires happening.

We are in year 5 maybe? Of a mega drought.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

We are in year 5 maybe? Of a mega drought.

Ah, didn't know that. The droughts are so dangerous.

[Daonnachd]

Hello, all! The power is back on. The windstorm didn't seem as violent as predicted, but we still had a precautionary shutdown for two days. On top of that, we have smoke blowing into our county from other counties darkening the sky to an eery, oppressive yellow. It was really dark in the house when combining both those things.

Now we have power I'll be cleaning out the refrigerator and hovering the floors. ...and making myself a second pot of coffee to make up for the coffee that I missed yesterday. (Tuesday I was in town for work so was able to get myself a quad espresso as a substitute.)

Had a strange dream last night of one of my former students being taken away from the classroom then sending me a letter saying she had been taken to the mental hospital. Her friends were distraught so I told them I, too, had spent time in the psych ward. After that I was driving around the posh part of town in an old Porsche 911 looking for her parents.

Ok, enough tangents. How am I actually doing considering it's been more than four weeks since my last ECT and I normally dip into a mild to moderate depression in that fourth week? Surprisingly, things don't seem so bad. I think it may be because I now have a long drive at that crucial crash point wherein I get to listen to my favourite music at high volumes (and high speeds) on the way to and from the covid test. It sort of seems a prophylactic mood-lift.

...and back to a tangent, going for the covid test on Tuesday I saw a raptor, a very large one. I was driving so obviously wasn't able to study it, but in retrospect I'm wondering if it wasn't a golden eagle. Throwing that out there for any of you who enjoy the odd bird.