[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Urges, urges, urges...

Possible trigger:

was close to killing myself a few hours ago

but I caught myself in the middle of doing what I was doing and did some dishes and talked to a friend/my ex so obviously I didn't. Just so restless and bored. I mean I find stuff to do, but then I either finish or get bored and have to quickly bounce to another activity before I end up doing something self-destructive.
The forest is beautiful though, lots of red maple leaves falling making the forest floor top notch.

Please reach out for help.. You feeling the urge is nothing to ignore, Can you go to the ER if your not able to stay safe?

I'm around if you need an ear

[~Christina]

Welcome home Soupe ... So glad your trip went well

[Sunflower123]

I needed to hand my medication over to a family member because of strong urges. I wish I didn’t go through this often. I’ve learned to surf SI pretty well and know when to reach out. I had a friend here on PC and a family member talk me off the ledge. Still down but I’ll be okay.

I’ve been getting into candles a lot lately. The one I have today is called Autumn Leaves and when it’s cool in the morning I can open the door for some crisp air, smell the candle and pretend I’m in the Smokies.

I’m going to visit my daughter this coming weekend. Looking forward to that.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Urges, urges, urges...

Possible trigger:

was close to killing myself a few hours ago

but I caught myself in the middle of doing what I was doing and did some dishes and talked to a friend/my ex so obviously I didn't. Just so restless and bored. I mean I find stuff to do, but then I either finish or get bored and have to quickly bounce to another activity before I end up doing something self-destructive.
The forest is beautiful though, lots of red maple leaves falling making the forest floor top notch.

Good job!!! Don't do it. I have tried twice. It is not the answer. Ever. Do you need to go to the hospital?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I needed to hand my medication over to a family member because of strong urges. I wish I didn’t go through this often. I’ve learned to surf SI pretty well and know when to reach out. I had a friend here on PC and a family member talk me off the ledge. Still down but I’ll be okay.

I’ve been getting into candles a lot lately. The one I have today is called Autumn Leaves and when it’s cool in the morning I can open the door for some crisp air, smell the candle and pretend I’m in the Smokies.

I’m going to visit my daughter this coming weekend. Looking forward to that.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend.

I'm sorry your world is tilting a bit.. please reach out if the urges linger.

I'd try and focus about seeing your daughter..

Stay safe

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I needed to hand my medication over to a family member because of strong urges. I wish I didn’t go through this often. I’ve learned to surf SI pretty well and know when to reach out. I had a friend here on PC and a family member talk me off the ledge. Still down but I’ll be okay.

I’ve been getting into candles a lot lately. The one I have today is called Autumn Leaves and when it’s cool in the morning I can open the door for some crisp air, smell the candle and pretend I’m in the Smokies.

I’m going to visit my daughter this coming weekend. Looking forward to that.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend.

Good for you for taking care of yourself, Jennifer. Handing over your meds, and the candle sounds sooo nice

Keep your focus on that upcoming visit. Does she live very far from you?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by fern46

I have trouble with some affirmations as well. If my brain holds data to the contrary, I cannot use it because I instinctively fight it. For me, it helps to change the statement to something that is true.

Both of the examples you gave would be difficult for me, but I could adjust them. 'I know how it feels when safe and I know how to find it again after periods of distress.' And 'Although it feels like I have taken many steps backward in my life, I know I am supported and I am moving forward in general'.

Or something else completely. I like that you're working the system, but sometimes it makes sense to learn the concept and apply it best for you. That gets you closer to that highest good you're aiming for

Now this can be a little tricky because sometimes we make adjustments that accommodate features of ourselves we really do need to challenge and change. In those cases you have to look at the results of your adjustments honestly and judge whether or not they add value. If not, return to the basics or design something entirely new.

If you struggle to judge yourself objectively, a friend can usually help. You'll figure it out.

I don't even have the proper words to thank you for this, fern How incredibly helpful! I'm going to write down your affirmation ideas; they're excellent. I love the concept you've explained.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Good for you for taking care of yourself, Jennifer. Handing over your meds, and the candle sounds sooo nice

Keep your focus on that upcoming visit. Does she live very far from you?

Thank you. She’s a senior at a college about 90 miles away.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Thanks. it’s f to m top surgery and it’s the 5th of October.

I wish you the best for your surgery!

[Moose72]

We got a lot done today. Today is N3's 19th birthday. He spent the morning helping my mom's husband take my couch to N1 and girlfriend, picking up my new (used) couch and bringing it to me. We took apart and threw out the two old broken recliners and the two rickety end tables. Plus, the lady came to pick up the washing machine. She said I look young to be an empty-nester! That made me feel good. (That'll probably change as my hair continues to go white.) So all in all it was a good day. Plus, my mom took some of the stuff I'd packed to her place- extra cleaning supplies, extra toothpaste and the like.

I got up early today and had coffee before we started. That was nice to be up listening to the radio. Reminds me of my dad's mom- she used to get up before everybody else and have coffee while listening to CBC radio.

[MuddyBoots]

Just want to clarify: I don't need to go to the ER. I'm not going to kill myself, and I get these urges all the time. Just was doing some unhealthy things and wanting to do more when doing more can easily lead to death. I know when to stop, just don't always want to stop.

[Daonnachd]

A good day despite missing out on a bike ride. My wife and I spent two hours on a FaceTime call with friends in England. It was fun because both we and they shared hitherto unknown stories with the other couple. Em's father was in the OSS from WWII up through the Bay of Pigs! I had no idea. I love learning stuff like that.

I also got to do a bit of editing, another plus. A bit of exercise for the grammarian in me.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Just want to clarify: I don't need to go to the ER. I'm not going to kill myself, and I get these urges all the time. Just was doing some unhealthy things and wanting to do more when doing more can easily lead to death. I know when to stop, just don't always want to stop.

Thank you, Sapien, for clarifying. I'm glad you know when to stop though I wish it weren't a struggle for you at all.

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I needed to hand my medication over to a family member because of strong urges. I wish I didn’t go through this often. I’ve learned to surf SI pretty well and know when to reach out. I had a friend here on PC and a family member talk me off the ledge. Still down but I’ll be okay.

I’ve been getting into candles a lot lately. The one I have today is called Autumn Leaves and when it’s cool in the morning I can open the door for some crisp air, smell the candle and pretend I’m in the Smokies.

I’m going to visit my daughter this coming weekend. Looking forward to that.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend.

I love candles! I have probably 20 or so. I like to light them when I'm feeling anxious. I love all the scents. My favorite is probably vanilla lavender!

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by Moose72

We got a lot done today. Today is N3's 19th birthday. He spent the morning helping my mom's husband take my couch to N1 and girlfriend, picking up my new (used) couch and bringing it to me. We took apart and threw out the two old broken recliners and the two rickety end tables. Plus, the lady came to pick up the washing machine. She said I look young to be an empty-nester! That made me feel good. (That'll probably change as my hair continues to go white.) So all in all it was a good day. Plus, my mom took some of the stuff I'd packed to her place- extra cleaning supplies, extra toothpaste and the like.

I got up early today and had coffee before we started. That was nice to be up listening to the radio. Reminds me of my dad's mom- she used to get up before everybody else and have coffee while listening to CBC radio.

Wow! You did get a lot accomplished! Good for you!

[Coolbreeze74]

Well I almost had a panic attack! It's so scary. I took my meds and it went away. But I'm going to have to go through it, bc I cant keep taking my meds so early. It was about 2:30. I'm going to be so tired early today.

I need to brace myself for a 4 hour long one tomorrow. After it goes away I should be good for like 2 days. I hate that I have to deal with this!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

Well I almost had a panic attack! It's so scary. I took my meds and it went away. But I'm going to have to go through it, bc I cant keep taking my meds so early. It was about 2:30. I'm going to be so tired early today.

I need to brace myself for a 4 hour long one tomorrow. After it goes away I should be good for like 2 days. I hate that I have to deal with this!

Sure wish we could find just one med for you to tamp these down.

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Sure wish we could find just one med for you to tamp these down.

Me too! Since coming off lorazepam I have them. It absolutely sucks!

[Pookyl]

All packed and ready for surgery tomorrow. I’ll be in hospital for 2 - 3 days. Nervous.
My panic attacks are worse again. One every alternate day. I’m really worried about having one in hospital. Regular hospitals (as opposed to psych ones) don’t always know how to handle patients with psych issues.
Hugs to those who need them.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

All packed and ready for surgery tomorrow. I’ll be in hospital for 2 - 3 days. Nervous.
My panic attacks are worse again. One every alternate day. I’m really worried about having one in hospital. Regular hospitals (as opposed to psych ones) don’t always know how to handle patients with psych issues.
Hugs to those who need them.

I hope your surgery goes smoothly. My thoughts are with you.