[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Moose72

We have secured movers for Friday! The one thing we have no control over is when the inspection will take place. I hope it's in the morning! Plus, the weather will be nice Friday; Thursday, it's supposed to rain, so there's that! Will have to put the finishing touches on moving today and tomorrow. Then tomorrow around 3, Caleb will be here so then we can go out for dinner. He'll have to sleep here (old place) on my couch.

Hooray!!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I feel ok. My moods and anxiety are ok and are under control. On Sunday the song I Am Woman came on the radio and that song bugs me for some reason and I immediately turned the station and then this morning I found out the lady who sang the song died. I texted my mom joking about it. This happens a lot to me with like visions and celebrity’s and other strange stuff and people don’t really like it when I do it or when it happens. They find it creepy and they don’t like talking about it much.

Does Macho Man by Village People engender the same emotional response in you, MD? Totally serious neurological question. I am really fascinated on a purely neurochemical basis. I hope you do not think I am being insensitive. I have always fiercely supported you here. And always will. Tried to offer a tiny bit of surgical support for you. Nothing but love for you
And support.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Enjoying my mood currently. I would call it lightly hypomanic. The only crappy part is feeling so alone. I feel quite desperate for attention. And i guess the drinking isnt the best either it has been a little out of control lately.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Does Macho Man by Village People engender the same emotional response in you, MD? Totally serious neurological question. I am really fascinated on a purely neurochemical basis. I hope you do not think I am being insensitive. I have always fiercely supported you here. And always will. Tried to offer a tiny bit of surgical support for you. Nothing but love for you
And support.

I dunno. What exactly do you mean? Macho Man just always reminds me of the movie The Adams Family Values. I know of the Village People though and I like them.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I feel ok. My moods and anxiety are ok and are under control. On Sunday the song I Am Woman came on the radio and that song bugs me for some reason and I immediately turned the station and then this morning I found out the lady who sang the song died. I texted my mom joking about it. This happens a lot to me with like visions and celebrity’s and other strange stuff and people don’t really like it when I do it or when it happens. They find it creepy and they don’t like talking about it much.

If she died, that's probably why they were playing her songs.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Moose72

If she died, that's probably why they were playing her songs.

She just died last night. She could have been sick though.

[MuddyBoots]

Craving like hell. I hope no one was watching me on my walk this morning lol it must've looked weird because I was heading towards "someone's house" and kept turning around. My higher power gave me the strength to come back home though, so now I just gotta stay home until these urges pass. I'm thinking about moving to get out of this "drug den" (as we are known).
I'm feeling much more myself these past few days though. I almost want to say it's been easy to brush off SI/SH thoughts. I've been able to focus/retain things slightly better. I didn't realize just how much the drug/alcohol use was affecting me, I mean people kept telling me but I didn't really understand the extent, thought I was just always like that clean and sober or not. I'm kinda wondering if after a few months if I can taper off some of my meds.
I gotta be my best self so I can take care of this guy! (I figured out how to add photos and now I'm a little obsessed haha)

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Craving like hell. I hope no one was watching me on my walk this morning lol it must've looked weird because I was heading towards "someone's house" and kept turning around. My higher power gave me the strength to come back home though, so now I just gotta stay home until these urges pass. I'm thinking about moving to get out of this "drug den" (as we are known).
I'm feeling much more myself these past few days though. I almost want to say it's been easy to brush off SI/SH thoughts. I've been able to focus/retain things slightly better. I didn't realize just how much the drug/alcohol use was affecting me, I mean people kept telling me but I didn't really understand the extent, thought I was just always like that clean and sober or not. I'm kinda wondering if after a few months if I can taper off some of my meds.
I gotta be my best self so I can take care of this guy! (I figured out how to add photos and now I'm a little obsessed haha)

In a word: move.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

We now have movers for Friday! My friend suggested these people!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I feel ok. My moods and anxiety are ok and are under control. On Sunday the song I Am Woman came on the radio and that song bugs me for some reason and I immediately turned the station and then this morning I found out the lady who sang the song died. I texted my mom joking about it. This happens a lot to me with like visions and celebrity’s and other strange stuff and people don’t really like it when I do it or when it happens. They find it creepy and they don’t like talking about it much.

My daughter calls that phenomenon "pop magic".

Helen Reddy was a huge pop star in the 70's, so her death is getting a lot of attention.

For years I had a serious fear of the song "Don't Fear the Reaper" because it seemed that something bad happened after I heard the song. But I got tired of fearing that the song would come on the radio and I'd be doomed to a bad occurrence. So I decided to stop the connection. My decision has worked pretty well.
-------------
EDIT: Hahaha! I typed the words "Don't Fear the Reaper", glanced at my post count, and the last three numbers were 666. Hilarious

[*Beth*]

Smoky air and stinks like dirty smoke. The native American tribes in my county (there's an active NA presence here) have received a large grant to begin to do something about climate change in this county. I'm not sure what they're starting with, but I'm so glad to hear the news.

Slept a sleep that I've needed for months. Increasing the Trilafon (AP) is helping to calm my mind, although the repetitive musical sounds are still hanging on.

Daonnachd, if you're out there, how goes it?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Smoky air and stinks like dirty smoke. The native American tribes in my county (there's an active NA presence here) have received a large grant to begin to do something about climate change in this county. I'm not sure what they're starting with, but I'm so glad to hear the news.

Slept a sleep that I've needed for months. Increasing the Trilafon (AP) is helping to calm my mind, although the repetitive musical sounds are still hanging on.

Daonnachd, if you're out there, how goes it?

Hugs, Bether!

today I found out that my doctor's surgery are not yet willing to give me a new doctor. they tried to patronize me today re: my complaint, and tried to stick up for the doctor when ever they could.

for now, it's still ongoing. I've said that I'm not willing to work with someone who wishes kovid on their patients, and they are saying they are unwilling to give me someone else at this time

so

[Fuzzybear]

wow. At the dentist the other day he said I had **** because I said I could not ''smell'' the infected tooth he took out I was not going to post about that. I still think its off though I said NO, I have hay fever (which is already in my notes)

I can hardly believe that a doctor like the above exists. UGH

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

today I found out that my doctor's surgery are not yet willing to give me a new doctor. they tried to patronize me today re: my complaint, and tried to stick up for the doctor when ever they could.

.....and they are saying they are unwilling to give me someone else at this time

so

Can you change surgeries?

Or maybe the other local surgeries are even worse? (is that even possible...)

If that doctor really said that, he is sadistic. IMHO. And should be stuck off..

- Sadistic - deriving pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering or humiliation on others.

[wildflowerchild25]

My kid isn't even HERE today and I’m anxious as hell. Like full on can’t breathe can’t stop my heart sick to my stomach ********. Not all day but a lot of it. I don’t really know what to do. There’s no specific thoughts that go with it though so I can’t even do like CBT or anything to confront the negative thinking.

Last night was horrible. I really felt like I was dying. I knew I wasn’t so I didn’t go to the ER but I sure felt like going just to beg for a benzo. I almost called a psych emergency line but then I realized the only thing that would be acceptable for me would be an emergency prescription for a benzo, but how tf was I supposed to pick it up? My dumbass pharmacy would be SURE to **** up the prescription.

I don’t know what to do! It’s not bad enough to take time off, but I really feel like I’m losing it.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

today I found out that my doctor's surgery are not yet willing to give me a new doctor. they tried to patronize me today re: my complaint, and tried to stick up for the doctor when ever they could.

for now, it's still ongoing. I've said that I'm not willing to work with someone who wishes kovid on their patients, and they are saying they are unwilling to give me someone else at this time

so

That is appalling.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

My kid isn't even HERE today and I’m anxious as hell. Like full on can’t breathe can’t stop my heart sick to my stomach ********. Not all day but a lot of it. I don’t really know what to do. There’s no specific thoughts that go with it though so I can’t even do like CBT or anything to confront the negative thinking.

Last night was horrible. I really felt like I was dying. I knew I wasn’t so I didn’t go to the ER but I sure felt like going just to beg for a benzo. I almost called a psych emergency line but then I realized the only thing that would be acceptable for me would be an emergency prescription for a benzo, but how tf was I supposed to pick it up? My dumbass pharmacy would be SURE to **** up the prescription.

I don’t know what to do! It’s not bad enough to take time off, but I really feel like I’m losing it.

It sounds to me like the way you feels definitely warrants some time off. Because what happens when the child returns? It seems you need some distance and space right now to reassess.


CBT affirmations are a great idea, unless you are truly in physical danger. At least, that's the way I see it. The way you're feeling isn't a thought, it's a sense of being actually, physically threatened. Maybe a fight or flight reaction.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

today I found out that my doctor's surgery are not yet willing to give me a new doctor. they tried to patronize me today re: my complaint, and tried to stick up for the doctor when ever they could.

for now, it's still ongoing. I've said that I'm not willing to work with someone who wishes kovid on their patients, and they are saying they are unwilling to give me someone else at this time

so

I don't understand. Sorry!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

My kid isn't even HERE today and I’m anxious as hell. Like full on can’t breathe can’t stop my heart sick to my stomach ********. Not all day but a lot of it. I don’t really know what to do. There’s no specific thoughts that go with it though so I can’t even do like CBT or anything to confront the negative thinking.

Last night was horrible. I really felt like I was dying. I knew I wasn’t so I didn’t go to the ER but I sure felt like going just to beg for a benzo. I almost called a psych emergency line but then I realized the only thing that would be acceptable for me would be an emergency prescription for a benzo, but how tf was I supposed to pick it up? My dumbass pharmacy would be SURE to **** up the prescription.

I don’t know what to do! It’s not bad enough to take time off, but I really feel like I’m losing it.

I am so sorry, wfc. But it does seem like maybe a med adjustment could be in order. Hugs.