advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Tryingtobehappy5
Member
 
Tryingtobehappy5's Avatar
Tryingtobehappy5 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
5 yr Member
776 hugs
given
Default Sep 30, 2020 at 09:46 PM
  #1
Tell me to take my meds. I feel so good, little sleep, high sex drive and lots of alcohol and weed. But im not oblivious about what happens next. So far my pdoc gp and T have all tried to get me back on track and I see an addictions nurse next week. But nothing has helped, maybe someone here will say the right thing.

I dont want to lose my job, my kids or my H but cfs got involved after my last night in the drunk tank so im super terrified about what might happen if i get too drunk again and need help. Plus i missed work the next morning and i cant afford to have that happen again

Why cant i just do the right thing?!?!

__________________
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Alcohol Use Disorder

Meds:
Depakote
Welbutrin
Abilify

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
Tryingtobehappy5 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, fern46, Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist

advertisement
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 30, 2020 at 10:59 PM
  #2
------>take<------
------>your<------
------>meds<------
Be smart.

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, fern46, Tryingtobehappy5
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, fern46, RoxanneToto
Miss Laura
Elder
 
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
15 yr Member
85 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 01, 2020 at 03:13 AM
  #3
I'm like you with meds I hate taking them and detest it. I've been off my meds about 5 months. Unlike you though I have nothing to lose as I'm single, no kids, no job etc.

I'm eventually going to start a med I think its next week on the 8th. I'm away to start the depot injection for Aririprazole.

Maybe you can look into alternative ways to help take the meds? Mines has to be this way as I can't keep going on and off my meds. I've decided to let my mental health team take the reins over my meds. This might be a good thing for me
Miss Laura is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, fern46, Tryingtobehappy5
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, fern46
fern46
Grand Magnate
fern46 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 yr Member
4,300 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 01, 2020 at 07:38 AM
  #4
You answered your own post. Take your meds. It all comes down to the value stream. Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. Valuable in their own right, but it is momentary and fleeting and each of those things also carries negative value so the net result is poor.

Your children, husband and job comparatively carry infinitely more value than a few feel good moments and thrills. You already know all of this. You need help from a dual diagnosis provider. Now do what it is you already know you need to do and go get that help. Do not tear your family apart. It is so hard to build that back and it is such an abuse of love. The damage to your children is lasting and detrimental. Just don't do it. Take your meds. Get clean. The feel good vibes can come from that path too.
fern46 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, Tryingtobehappy5
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, MuddyBoots
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 01, 2020 at 09:37 AM
  #5
Done the whole deal. Lost everything. Here are some Eternal Truths. The sole purpose of addiction, evolutionarily, is to firm up the gene pool. To kill your body. It is efficient. Thankfully, your creator gave humans a say, a will. You have the option of a spiritual awakening, neurochemically resolving your limbic and pineal gland shortcoming. This is your decision to make. We will love you and help you, if you choose life. As will God. Put it in the bank. Many have walked this path before.

You have free will. Do you choose to live and love and help others and experience joy, or do you want to end up in a 37-degree creek, upside-down , in your car, like a 17 year-old kid I failed to save because it was too hard to keep his subclavian vein open. No blood pressure. Cold. Did my very best. I had talent. I cared deeply. He died. His shirt had a picture of a brain and the words, This Is Your Brain On Drugs, with the beer center and the bikini center or something. A child. Choices. Free will.

We kept that shirt in the trauma call room. Not because it was humorous. Because it reminded us of the gravity of the work God had charged us with doing.

Life is difficult. Make your decision and go do it.

Hugs and love#!!

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous41462, fern46, Tryingtobehappy5
 
Thanks for this!
fern46, Moose72
Tryingtobehappy5
Member
 
Tryingtobehappy5's Avatar
Tryingtobehappy5 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
5 yr Member
776 hugs
given
Default Oct 01, 2020 at 12:24 PM
  #6
Thank you all! You gave me a lot to think about and I have decided I want to live. And I want to keep all the good things in my life too.

I am going to talk to my GP today and ask to go on the abilify injection and see if i can take all the rest of my meds in the morning. At the very least I would then be on an AP and if I can manage it the rest of my meds too.

I find I dont take my night meds often and especially when drinking but i am not sure i am ready to give up the alcohol just yet.

__________________
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Alcohol Use Disorder

Meds:
Depakote
Welbutrin
Abilify

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
Tryingtobehappy5 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, Miss Laura
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 01, 2020 at 01:29 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5 View Post
Thank you all! You gave me a lot to think about and I have decided I want to live. And I want to keep all the good things in my life too.

I am going to talk to my GP today and ask to go on the abilify injection and see if i can take all the rest of my meds in the morning. At the very least I would then be on an AP and if I can manage it the rest of my meds too.

I find I dont take my night meds often and especially when drinking but i am not sure i am ready to give up the alcohol just yet.
Yay! Hooray!

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Tryingtobehappy5
Member
 
Tryingtobehappy5's Avatar
Tryingtobehappy5 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
5 yr Member
776 hugs
given
Default Oct 01, 2020 at 05:34 PM
  #8
Well that was a bust. 500 a month for the injection so thats not happening and my other meds are 12hrs so i am supposed to take it twice a day although he said its still better if i take them all in the morning if i am not going to take them at night at all.

I feel completely discouraged. I dont know if i can do this now.

__________________
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Alcohol Use Disorder

Meds:
Depakote
Welbutrin
Abilify

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
Tryingtobehappy5 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
MuddyBoots
Monster on the Hill
 
MuddyBoots's Avatar
MuddyBoots Bricks through the window and I think it's time I go
 
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,093 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
4,819 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 01, 2020 at 06:57 PM
  #9
Can you go on the Abilify Maintena website and see if they offer any financial assistance you're eligible for? I did that with my risperdal consta shot and now I pay $20 for it instead of $200 or so. It was pretty easy too.
MuddyBoots is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 01, 2020 at 08:19 PM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5 View Post
Well that was a bust. 500 a month for the injection so thats not happening and my other meds are 12hrs so i am supposed to take it twice a day although he said its still better if i take them all in the morning if i am not going to take them at night at all.

I feel completely discouraged. I dont know if i can do this now.
Call the county mental health. Tell them you need help remembering to take meds. See what options there are. There must be some. There are. Please, please open your heart to maybe being temporarily inconvenienced so we can save your life and get you feeling better. I had trouble taking one of mine. I set it up at my pharmacy, Fred Meyer. I just told them I was severely mentally ill and needed help. They were sweet. Did not charge me. I went every day until I could manage on my own.

Do not stop this process of helping yourself!! It is a process. You will have to deal with humans. Be patient and humble and tell the truth and ask for help
Good humans will help you. Promise.

Hugs!!

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Merlin
Crazy Hitch
ɘvlovƎ
 
Crazy Hitch's Avatar
Crazy Hitch When reality sets in
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 18,527 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 02, 2020 at 02:43 AM
  #11
Ughhhh it sucks right now but your situation sounds fixable. One small step at a time! Don’t try do everything at once. But your meds are a must. Non negotiable.

Can you set alarm clocks on your mobile?
Crazy Hitch is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, Tryingtobehappy5
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
Tryingtobehappy5
Member
 
Tryingtobehappy5's Avatar
Tryingtobehappy5 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
5 yr Member
776 hugs
given
Default Oct 03, 2020 at 05:29 AM
  #12
Well another day so I have to convince myself once again to take meds. I did manage to take at least my morning ones yesterday but im not sure if i can do it again. I think i just took them so I would have something good to tell my gp when i talked to him yesterday after work.

I am going to check today with the pharmacy about if the injection would be covered by insurance. Its unlikely but worth the effort to be sure. I dont think abilify will help with the cost, i am in Canada and only found info for the US as usual.

Next week I talk to the addictions nurse, my T and my GP. Maybe i will do better then.

__________________
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Alcohol Use Disorder

Meds:
Depakote
Welbutrin
Abilify

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
Tryingtobehappy5 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, Miss Laura
Tryingtobehappy5
Member
 
Tryingtobehappy5's Avatar
Tryingtobehappy5 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
5 yr Member
776 hugs
given
Default Oct 03, 2020 at 11:25 AM
  #13
I am thinking about going to the hospital tonight. I have worst energy today. I feel like im vibrating and it's horrible. Plus im sick from not eating enough and drinking too much. I want to take sleeping pills but i doubt they will give me that. I have lots of seroquel but im not sure if i should just take it or if i should talk to the dr about it first. Im not technically prescribed it right now i just have lots from before.

__________________
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Alcohol Use Disorder

Meds:
Depakote
Welbutrin
Abilify

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
Tryingtobehappy5 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, bpcyclist
Miss Laura
Elder
 
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
15 yr Member
85 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 03, 2020 at 11:30 AM
  #14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5 View Post
I am thinking about going to the hospital tonight. I have worst energy today. I feel like im vibrating and it's horrible. Plus im sick from not eating enough and drinking too much. I want to take sleeping pills but i doubt they will give me that. I have lots of seroquel but im not sure if i should just take it or if i should talk to the dr about it first. Im not technically prescribed it right now i just have lots from before.
I think you should call someone is there a number you can call in re to a crisis?
Miss Laura is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, Tryingtobehappy5
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
Tryingtobehappy5
Member
 
Tryingtobehappy5's Avatar
Tryingtobehappy5 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
5 yr Member
776 hugs
given
Default Oct 03, 2020 at 11:34 AM
  #15
Yes I could probably find the crisis line number around here somewhere but i dont know how they could help me.

__________________
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Alcohol Use Disorder

Meds:
Depakote
Welbutrin
Abilify

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
Tryingtobehappy5 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
Miss Laura
Elder
 
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
15 yr Member
85 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 03, 2020 at 11:35 AM
  #16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5 View Post
Yes I could probably find the crisis line number around here somewhere but i dont know how they could help me.
I'm unsure as I'm from Scotland. But I'm thinking of here calling that number would mean they talk things through with you and if needs be point you to someone or somewhere else. Maybe a clinic etc. Again I'm just guessing but there is no harm in calling right?
Miss Laura is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, Tryingtobehappy5
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 03, 2020 at 11:48 AM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5 View Post
I am thinking about going to the hospital tonight. I have worst energy today. I feel like im vibrating and it's horrible. Plus im sick from not eating enough and drinking too much. I want to take sleeping pills but i doubt they will give me that. I have lots of seroquel but im not sure if i should just take it or if i should talk to the dr about it first. Im not technically prescribed it right now i just have lots from before.
You need to call the pdoc right now.

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Tryingtobehappy5
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
Tryingtobehappy5
Member
 
Tryingtobehappy5's Avatar
Tryingtobehappy5 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
5 yr Member
776 hugs
given
Default Oct 03, 2020 at 11:49 AM
  #18
I can go in tonight when my GP is at the hospital I dont want to see anyone else and i cant call my pdoc

__________________
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Alcohol Use Disorder

Meds:
Depakote
Welbutrin
Abilify

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
Tryingtobehappy5 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
Tryingtobehappy5
Member
 
Tryingtobehappy5's Avatar
Tryingtobehappy5 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
5 yr Member
776 hugs
given
Default Oct 03, 2020 at 11:51 AM
  #19
Considering calling the crisis line to get me through until tonight. I have taken my meds today and yesterday but thats not long enough for these to help.

__________________
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Alcohol Use Disorder

Meds:
Depakote
Welbutrin
Abilify

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
Tryingtobehappy5 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
Tryingtobehappy5
Member
 
Tryingtobehappy5's Avatar
Tryingtobehappy5 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
5 yr Member
776 hugs
given
Default Oct 03, 2020 at 12:17 PM
  #20
Ok the plan is go for a walk with my friend then go to my dads farm for supper then go to the ER tonight to talk to my GP. The crisis worker was helpful just to talk through it and make a plan.

__________________
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Alcohol Use Disorder

Meds:
Depakote
Welbutrin
Abilify

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
Tryingtobehappy5 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, bpcyclist, Miss Laura
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:29 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.