[Moose72]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I got a nasty notice from my disability insurers threatening to cut off my benefits. They demanded a form they claimed to have sent in the Spring. I never got it. I got in touch with them and the guy was quite reasonable. We figure it went missing due to COVID. He said others are reporting the same thing. So he gave me an extension as my doctor has to fill out part and i'm just waiting on that. A little nervous about it. Will feel better when it is all submitted and approved. Issues with income are always so serious.

Otherwise things are quiet, just hanging in there with my mild depression. I drank some water, ate some veggies and meditated the past few days so i'm making an effort. I reread about mindfulness in the activities of daily living and was inspired to take a shower. I used lots of shampoo and laughed when my head lathered up so thickly it felt like a whipped dessert!

@Soupe du jour: Sounds like you are getting a tremendous amount done. Good for you!

Hugs to all who struggle!

I can so relate to your disability benefits and how serious income troubles can be! I could have things go missing just because I moved. I don't know how long they forward mail but it can't be that long.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

A couple of cool things happened today. My family chats with my nephew and his wife on hangouts bc they live in Canada. Hes getting his doctorate and they offered him a really good job over in Canada. We heard from him today. I guess its boxing day tomorrow. Basically Thanksgiving. He shared pictures of his Turkey with all the sides. His first time making Thanksgiving. So good to hear from him.

Then my brother who lives in San Diego got in touch with us. It was really good hearing from family today.

So that made my day.

Yay! Good news!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I got a nasty notice from my disability insurers threatening to cut off my benefits. They demanded a form they claimed to have sent in the Spring. I never got it. I got in touch with them and the guy was quite reasonable. We figure it went missing due to COVID. He said others are reporting the same thing. So he gave me an extension as my doctor has to fill out part and i'm just waiting on that. A little nervous about it. Will feel better when it is all submitted and approved. Issues with income are always so serious.

Otherwise things are quiet, just hanging in there with my mild depression. I drank some water, ate some veggies and meditated the past few days so i'm making an effort. I reread about mindfulness in the activities of daily living and was inspired to take a shower. I used lots of shampoo and laughed when my head lathered up so thickly it felt like a whipped dessert!

@Soupe du jour: Sounds like you are getting a tremendous amount done. Good for you!

Hugs to all who struggle!

Praying for you on the benefits.

Did you ever try Emsam?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

According to my mom the right side is bruised badly and it also hurts like ****. That side is still bleeding a lot and this really dark blood is coming out. The left side looks good and just dribbles of light blood is coming out. The right side is why the doctor had to come back on Monday. So I’m kind of nervous. I don’t want to have to go back into surgery. But the reason I got carsick this morning was because I forgot my Geodon. Once I took it I felt better.

Hugs. It will be fine. She will hook you up. Praying 4 u.

[bpcyclist]

Sleep still rough w Albert. He mostly lvs me alone if I am out w blankies in the living room, so doing that. Sees vet in a month. Maybe she can help. He clearly has at the very least an anxiety disorder. Just being gentle with him.

Mood good. Just tired. Hugs.

[Gabyunbound]

Anxiety through the roof because of what is happening with my mom. Took klonopin early last night to help me through the evening, which was helpful.

Also uncomfortable about communicating with my brother and sister-in-law about it because we don't get along (actually I generally get along with my sister-in-law) and we only communicate when issues with my mother come up.

I'm calling the new sub-acute facility today. I so hope they'll take her! If not, everything will be delayed (my mom wants to go asap), research started from scratch, and it won't be a place I already know, as I do this one.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Stunning hair color! Hair color has been my "thing" for decades. Here's an idea. When the vibrancy of the Garnier fades some, you can use Manic Panic Vampire Red (alone or mix it with another of their reds) to brighten up the permanent dye.

Manic Panic by itself is weak, but it will revive permanent color very well.

I hope your appointment tomorrow goes smoothly

Thank you and that's awesome! Thanks for the tip, I just added some Manic Panic Vampire Red to my online order with Walmart

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

I used to do my makeup and hair every day. Now , since my panic attacks and covid I rarely do. Glad you're getting into it though, fun!

I feel you on the panic attacks. They are beyond miserable. I'm glad the klonopin helped! I had a good day too!

I'm glad you had a good day too

[MuddyBoots]

Looking for a new job because bookkeeper at the farm is not going to last very long. Family feud stuff going on and I heard they're going to be under before they can even get me set up. I applied to a few places close enough but far enough. I am now one full week sober! It is cold. I hope it rains tonight/tomorrow as expected. I think I broke a knuckle.

[Mountaindewed]

Well I got the drains out. She said to come back next Monday though for a check up and also there could possibly be a fluid buildup and they would have to go in with a needle to get it out. But getting the drains out was much less painful then I thought. I thought it would hurt like hell but it was just a quick pinch. I didn’t realize how much pain was actually from my chest though. But at least I’m in my own bed now instead of on that dumb recliner. And I can sleep on my side and get around more easily. So I hope recovery gets moving quicker now.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Looking for a new job because bookkeeper at the farm is not going to last very long. Family feud stuff going on and I heard they're going to be under before they can even get me set up. I applied to a few places close enough but far enough. I am now one full week sober! It is cold. I hope it rains tonight/tomorrow as expected. I think I broke a knuckle.

Congratulations (Except on your knuckle )

[Moose72]

Bad news. N1's girlfriend is here. (She's on the phone at the moment.) We were talking about N1. She's in the psychiatric emergency waiting to be admitted. She's a mess. Her girlfriend was filling me in on things. We took a pic of us together and sent it via snapchat to N1. Said "I Love You, my daughter and happy early birthday!" She won't have her phone once she gets admitted, but there is a computer there that you can get on- at least there was last time I was there. Of course, she may not be admitted at the same hospital, too. And last time, her insurance said she had to leave- early, it seemed like. Poor C, too, because this is a lot for her to deal with but I am SOOO glad she is around! C is a wonderful, loving person who is here for thick and thin. Apparently, N1 is into marijuana and extra-relationship sex, etc. I really hope they can give her a diagnosis this time instead of just "transgender". (Which has it's own diagnosis code.) I was supposed to be having my yearly review for the bipolar study I'm in right now over the phone but they called and I rescheduled for tomorrow because C is still here and I have to deal with this more than I need to do the study stuff right now. It IS rescheduled for tomorrow. I don't want to miss it because after this I get paid for my year of filling out questionaires and this year-end appointment. So I'm worried about N1, but I know she's in good hands- at least if they keep her for a week or more that will make me happy.

ETA/Update:

We talked with N1 on the phone and she is still in the psych ER. Been there 15 hours and no sleep. But that's par for the course. She sounds better than i thought she would. C is bringing her a couple books- two books that have been in the back of their car for months that N1 hasn't gotten around to reading. They happen to be about transgender and are mine actually. I bought them just because I thought they looked interesting before I knew that N1 was transgender. C is getting her coffee from Starbucks and a video game machine (hand held one I assume) and a few other things. I am glad she and C have each other. C is such a nice person and a true friend and girlfriend! She keeps me in the loop which I like. Tomorrow is N1's 23rd birthday. We sent her a snapchat saying happy birthday and I love you. No news yet about where she is going to be staying.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Looking for a new job because bookkeeper at the farm is not going to last very long. Family feud stuff going on and I heard they're going to be under before they can even get me set up. I applied to a few places close enough but far enough. I am now one full week sober! It is cold. I hope it rains tonight/tomorrow as expected. I think I broke a knuckle.

Massive, massive achievement. So happy. Keep your feet on the ground. Do not get too excited and lose your judgment. People relapse celebrating.

[*Beth*]

In two years I have never once cancelled an appointment with my therapist. I see her twice/week. I cancelled today for a silly reason, but there it is. I simply do not feel like setting up the whole teletherapy thing. Camera, mic, close the curtains so it's not too bright, being sure my hair is presentable, getting dressed just for a video session, pointing my computer in a direction that has a pleasant background, saying good-bye at the end when she suddenly disappears and I see a blank screen...all of it. I just couldn't do it today. It all feels like pushing a boulder up a mountain.

I feel bad, because I know she'll wonder why I cancelled when I never have before. And I hope I don't regret cancelling. I'm just so worn down from this whole covid BS.

[yellow_fleurs]

Hi everyone. I haven't been here in a awhile, but finally got up the energy to check in. Hope you all have been doing well. I do think of you all and sometimes come and read the updates, but just haven't been feeling too well and lacking motivation. My moods are more stable since starting birth control, but now I am just tired and blah all the time. Can't seem to focus on anything, either. My psychiatrist thinks it's depression and started me on Wellbutrin. I did not feel well after the first dose, real tired and achy, but am going to try it out for a little bit longer. Not much else going on here. I am back home after staying with my partner for a few months. It was nice to have the company and see his cute dog, but I think my anxiety and low mood kind of put a damper on things between us. He's tried to be supportive, though. Wish I had something more interesting to update on, but that's about it for now. I am looking forward to catching up on how everyone has been.

[xRavenx]

I've been having difficulties with impulsivity on the job lately, and it's leading to not the best decisions. I really hate the impulsive side of me. It's really self-damaging and makes me feel really bad about myself. I always worry about the long-term effects and if something is going to haunt me. It's really hard working when dealing with these Bipolar symptoms, and some days I want to give up. I was very close to resigning the other day, but I'm trying to push through until I can't anymore. I did take a few days off next week, so that will give me the opportunity to have a mental health day to myself. I had to take a klonopin (PRN) today, because I feel really nervous about my decisions and if the worst is going to happen. A few hours to go until the work day is over with.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Hi everyone. I haven't been here in a awhile, but finally got up the energy to check in. Hope you all have been doing well. I do think of you all and sometimes come and read the updates, but just haven't been feeling too well and lacking motivation. My moods are more stable since starting birth control, but now I am just tired and blah all the time. Can't seem to focus on anything, either. My psychiatrist thinks it's depression and started me on Wellbutrin. I did not feel well after the first dose, real tired and achy, but am going to try it out for a little bit longer. Not much else going on here. I am back home after staying with my partner for a few months. It was nice to have the company and see his cute dog, but I think my anxiety and low mood kind of put a damper on things between us. He's tried to be supportive, though. Wish I had something more interesting to update on, but that's about it for now. I am looking forward to catching up on how everyone has been.

I'm so glad you've checked in. It's good to see you

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Hi everyone. I haven't been here in a awhile, but finally got up the energy to check in. Hope you all have been doing well. I do think of you all and sometimes come and read the updates, but just haven't been feeling too well and lacking motivation. My moods are more stable since starting birth control, but now I am just tired and blah all the time. Can't seem to focus on anything, either. My psychiatrist thinks it's depression and started me on Wellbutrin. I did not feel well after the first dose, real tired and achy, but am going to try it out for a little bit longer. Not much else going on here. I am back home after staying with my partner for a few months. It was nice to have the company and see his cute dog, but I think my anxiety and low mood kind of put a damper on things between us. He's tried to be supportive, though. Wish I had something more interesting to update on, but that's about it for now. I am looking forward to catching up on how everyone has been.

Hi yellow_fleurs, I was reading some old posts yesterday and was thinking of you! I'm happy that you've checked in! I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well. I understand about anxiety and low mood putting a damper on my relationship with partner (not so much lately, I remember from before I was diagnosed though and at times later) It's great that he's been trying to be supportive, it sounds like maybe he's a keeper!

[Fuzzybear]

I have not tried teletherapy. I have thought about it.

(edited)

[Fuzzybear]

Listening to a new release (I think) by Bon Jovi. It's been a weird day.