[daladico]

Originally Posted by fern46

I know it feels great, but your insight is in a decent enough place to know something is off. You have to trust that. Great call on reaching out to your pdoc!

Definitely limit the caffeine and maybe try a relaxing workout like some yoga. I know of a great instructor on Youtube if you're interested.

thanks Fern which instructor?

[fern46]

Originally Posted by daladico

thanks Fern which instructor?

Her channel is called yoga with Adriene. She has tons of videos for various scenarios. I like her a lot.

[Mountaindewed]

My therapist suggested in email that I may need a PHP program and I freaked out. On the 5th they asked for a $340 copay upfront for my surgery. So I’m going to actually owe at least 5 thousand for the actual surgery. I don’t have a job or much of anything saved up. I just hope they can do a payment plan. But I have absolutely no money for a PHP program. When I was signing up for insurance last year I basically had to choose between my physical or mental health and since I was having so many physical issues in 2019 I went that route.

But I’ve lost another 2 pounds putting it at 12 pounds since the 5th. I think some more swelling went down though. A lot of it is the visteril though. But I don’t need it. My anxiety is fine. So why would I take it just to be hungry? That’s dumb.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Sounds like a very productive day!
(re cave cleaning etc)

Yes, it was! And today, I paid my first month's' rent (October) and by Nov. 1 I will have to pay November's rent. I have 3 dollars MORE in my savings account than I need to pay my credit card, so that will come due on November 4th. Maybe I'll clean the tub today.... I know what I have to do today: Do the Bipolar study I'm in at 3. It should last a couple hours. Listening to "Festive Motets from the 16th Century".

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

@whatever2013 and @BethRags, thanks for your concern. I am experiencing a major upswing. It's become quite apparent and I've consulted with my psychiatrist today. I have a med dose increase. I already took 100 mg extra Seroquel today (50 iR morning/50 XR afternoon) and my usual evening dose (650 mg), plus my other bipolar meds. I'll admit I still feel fairly revved up, so pdoc told me to take yet another 50 mg of the iR if I can't get to sleep. I'm about as up as I've been for a long time -- only worse about two and a half years ago in May 2018. I can NOT become so manic that I can't easily de-escalate. I've started to have "issues" with my mood. Hubby has started taking some things over that I had been doing. Even so, there is just so extremely much to do and so many stressful things. Of course I could go on and on, but I'll try to spare people. My therapist is little help, but my psychiatrist is a gem. I'll be in touch with him again soon, if needed, or next Wednesday when I have a scheduled appointment. He always responds quickly. He knows me like the back of his hand, which is good. I'll be so sad when I have to find someone new. It will be a great loss for me to have to move on from him, though he did say he would continue giving me video sessions even for a while after I move to CZ. So did my nephrologist. Those two guys are basically the kind of men (or people in general, since some women are similar) that are treasures in one's life. My greatest living treasures are my husband, psychiatrist, and my sister. I'll miss seeing my sister when I move. I have to coerce her to visit me in CZ. She retired early. I think she will want to visit CZ again (she went there for my wedding). Of course my mother was a great treasure, but we lost her about 15 years ago to cancer.

I apologize if anything I wrote today (or will write) seemed, I don't know, triggering/concerning/offensive or otherwise.

The handyman was supposed to come back today, but didn't. No show. So many places are late in getting us what we need. This kind of frustration is a major trigger for me. I like for things to go efficiently, quickly, and smoothly, but I realize they sometimes don't. The lack of control over a situation is rough for me. I have to resist the temptation to take on more and more, too. The less out of control, the more I freak out and escalate.

Great job getting all over this. What is the plan for the next 2 days, med-wise?

Hugs! Be careful! No major decisions.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

It has been a while since I last checked in.

I'm still depressed but life goes on.

I finished and published my book and it's getting good reviews.

I learned a whole bunch of new stuff so I have a really good skill set related to my hobby. It's not worth any money, just the satisfaction of being good at something. When I get in the zone, I get some short term relief from the depression.

I'm looking for another job. I think I've reached the end of the line in my current job even though I really liked it. There's someone with more experience than me and they don't need everyone on the team so I'm making a move before the job market slows down by December and January.

I also taught my kids some new skills related to fixing things around the house. It's nice to see that they're interested.

Congratulations on the book! Yay!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by jmariah001

I haven't been on much lately. My laptop is acting up. It is extremely slow. I might have a virus on it. No virus protection on it right now. It expired and I don't have the money to renew it. Well anyways. Things have been up and down. A lot of bad dreams lately. Persistent cough for over a month. I think it's drainage from my sinuses. It started with a cold then turned into a sinus infection. Not fun. At least I hope it was a cold. Mentally I've been all over the place. I see my pdoc next Monday. Good thing. Anyways that's s my check in.

Thanks for checking in. Hang in there!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by daladico

Day 6 complete med change:
Feel like I might be going a bit “up.”
Everything is perfect in the world 😃
Super productive, lots of energy, super happy
Loving every moment of it 🤩

It is good that you are in touch with how you may be rising up. What about recording your mood level on a piece of paper every two hours or so? Just as a way to keep an eye on yourself?

[Moose72]

I should continue reading my book. I've changed CDs to Paul Esswood, countertenor, singing selections by Henry Purcell- 1600's. I gotta do something. Maybe clean- I said I was going to clean the tub, but all I really did was pull hair out of the drain/stopper. I'm so glad that thing is there and hope that hair isn't getting down inside the drain. Not right now, though, because I'm waiting for my phone call.

@daladico I agree with @bpcyclist You sound like you're going up.

[*Beth*]

Mentally, emotionally, I'm feeling good. Physically feeling rotten. I believe I'm having some physical withdrawal symptoms from the reduction in my Lamictal dose. I need to walk to the library 2 blocks away to pick up 2 books, but don't know if I can manage the walk. My legs are really shakey and every step feels unsafe. I despise this feeling...like having the flu, in a certain way.

Hugs all around

[Moose72]

I just finished my interview for the bipolar study. I'm kind of glad it was on the phone because it was just a million questions about how I"ve been feeling the last however long. But I get paid for it so that should come within a week or week and a half. After all that mental probing, she sure got off the phone quickly! lol

[Nammu]

I was asked to participate in the Mayo Clinic bipolar study but my special phone hadn’t been connected yet and mum told them to contact me though the portal. Never heard from them again.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I was asked to participate in the Mayo Clinic bipolar study but my special phone hadn’t been connected yet and mum told them to contact me though the portal. Never heard from them again.

That's too bad that they dropped the ball. I've been in this study for more than 10 years- maybe 12?- and it is long during the interviews but I get paid so that's enough for me to still participate.

[~Christina]

We are getting a HUGE treat when it comes to weather. Beautiful days for over 4 weeks , We have not had to run the AC at all.. Electric bill came today 59.00 We are also saving money with the new tankless water heater. So super YAY !

I'm back on my meds . I have zero idea why I got totally lost for over a week... Strange for sure. I am so grateful I didn't fall, I was virtually unable to walk a straight line, it was really bad.

Steve is still doing well,, hes learned to pace himself which is HUGE , He's the type that if he starts anything ( Mowing , Bush hogging , spraying fence lines etc ) He feels like he needs to do everything same day.

Hes now working on he's old RC planes ( they are huge) and he has his dads , They use to go Flying all the time, Bringing back lots of fantastic memories for him, Tears here and there but its a great thing for him.

Hope everyone is doing well

[Soupe du jour]

What a day!

Starting now and working backwards, I just twisted my ankle falling down my stairs. Yes, I fell down stairs a little over a month ago, but then injured my back, shoulder, arm, and elbow. Luckily that injury has since healed. My ankle? It is currently elevated on pillows with a bag of frozen peas wrapped around it, with me lying in bed. Not the greatest timing since the carpet installers are coming tomorrow to recarpet all of our bedrooms, upstairs hallway, and staircase. We only found this out yesterday, so are unprepared. We did pack a lot of stuff and move it to the basement/garage (or sell/donate), but there's still more. My husband's friend just arrived to help move some remaining stuff. [God bless him.] The biggest stuff will be moved by the carpet installers. Of course I planned to also be working hard at this now, but instead can't do a thing. Hopefully tomorrow I can do a little, but I barely even made it back upstairs, hopping with my husband's help. Thank goodness our new home in Czech Republic has a ground floor bedroom! I already told Hubby that that will be our bedroom. The upstairs ones will be for guests. I am only 49 years old, but have to plan a room choice as if I was an old hobbling lady with a walker. Fact is, I injure myself a lot. Partly because of my Tegretol (I think), and in the middle of the night, likely because of Seroquel sedation. My husband has a horrible habit of putting his crap in my walkway (i.e. his shoes, a laundry basket, or pants he took off the night before). It pisses me off and I do remind him of it. I am not the only one in the world that gets a powerful thirst or need to pee at 3 am. I simply need the safest route to/fro my bedroom to satisfy these needs! Not around an obstacle course or down a flight of wooden stairs.

Earlier this afternoon, we bought a new car. I wasn't totally surprised, but didn't know we would have to bring it home today. We traded in our old Subaru, for very little discount, understandably. It had a mess in it! Photography stuff and countless other things. My husband is a bit of a clutterer in his private space. It was his car. My car was sold a couple of weeks back. So when we made the switch, we had to clear stuff out, quickly. The salesman said we could just leave the garbage in it. Our brand new car is now full of crap. It sort of takes some of the excitement away from it. In case anyone is wondering, we will have this car shipped to Czech Republic with our other stuff. It is cheaper to buy in the US than Europe. It's a plug in hybrid so gas expenses will be minimized. They don't yet have this car on the market in Czech Republic, but will soon. I certainly hope nothing happens to it before then! Pretty please, fingers crossed, with a cherry on top!

I got numerous calls today, before and during the time at the car dealership. And made a few, too. Stuff is coming together, but it's a whirlwind. I was so overwhelmed at one point that when I was writing a check, I felt unsure if I was to sign it in the usual place. Hubby screwed up a couple of things for the same reason.

Thank goodness the other flooring (downstairs) won't be installed until Monday. That gives us some time to tackle that, too. But tomorrow our realtor comes with the painter/handyman who abandoned our project prematurely and was a no-show yesterday. I confess I did complain. She even asked if we wanted another person to finish up and redo the stuff that was inadequate. Hubby said no. I told Hubby that he is now managing the handyman. I have had enough with him, and wonder if the developing mania I have had perhaps affected the outcome. [I know that the behavior of some hypomanic/manic people can scare some people off. Do people know what I mean? A degree of perfectionism doesn't help. I generally don't demand it of other people unless imperfection directly affects me, or the value of my house.] We have been shelling out huge amounts of money that we don't really yet have. Getting good money for our house is crucial for this and our future.

I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm working as hard, as possible!

[Moose72]

Must pick up N3 and S at the movies around 9 or 930. I'll be tired when I get back! I did get a shower so I feel refreshed.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Mentally, emotionally, I'm feeling good. Physically feeling rotten. I believe I'm having some physical withdrawal symptoms from the reduction in my Lamictal dose. I need to walk to the library 2 blocks away to pick up 2 books, but don't know if I can manage the walk. My legs are really shakey and every step feels unsafe. I despise this feeling...like having the flu, in a certain way.

Hugs all around

I am so sorry, Beth. I had no idea Lamictal could be so problematic. Do you think it is worth all the trouble?

Hugs and love!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

What a day!

Starting now and working backwards, I just twisted my ankle falling down my stairs. Yes, I fell down stairs a little over a month ago, but then injured my back, shoulder, arm, and elbow. Luckily that injury has since healed. My ankle? It is currently elevated on pillows with a bag of frozen peas wrapped around it, with me lying in bed. Not the greatest timing since the carpet installers are coming tomorrow to recarpet all of our bedrooms, upstairs hallway, and staircase. We only found this out yesterday, so are unprepared. We did pack a lot of stuff and move it to the basement/garage (or sell/donate), but there's still more. My husband's friend just arrived to help move some remaining stuff. [God bless him.] The biggest stuff will be moved by the carpet installers. Of course I planned to also be working hard at this now, but instead can't do a thing. Hopefully tomorrow I can do a little, but I barely even made it back upstairs, hopping with my husband's help. Thank goodness our new home in Czech Republic has a ground floor bedroom! I already told Hubby that that will be our bedroom. The upstairs ones will be for guests. I am only 49 years old, but have to plan a room choice as if I was an old hobbling lady with a walker. Fact is, I injure myself a lot. Partly because of my Tegretol (I think), and in the middle of the night, likely because of Seroquel sedation. My husband has a horrible habit of putting his crap in my walkway (i.e. his shoes, a laundry basket, or pants he took off the night before). It pisses me off and I do remind him of it. I am not the only one in the world that gets a powerful thirst or need to pee at 3 am. I simply need the safest route to/fro my bedroom to satisfy these needs! Not around an obstacle course or down a flight of wooden stairs.

Earlier this afternoon, we bought a new car. I wasn't totally surprised, but didn't know we would have to bring it home today. We traded in our old Subaru, for very little discount, understandably. It had a mess in it! Photography stuff and countless other things. My husband is a bit of a clutterer in his private space. It was his car. My car was sold a couple of weeks back. So when we made the switch, we had to clear stuff out, quickly. The salesman said we could just leave the garbage in it. Our brand new car is now full of crap. It sort of takes some of the excitement away from it. In case anyone is wondering, we will have this car shipped to Czech Republic with our other stuff. It is cheaper to buy in the US than Europe. It's a plug in hybrid so gas expenses will be minimized. They don't yet have this car on the market in Czech Republic, but will soon. I certainly hope nothing happens to it before then! Pretty please, fingers crossed, with a cherry on top!

I got numerous calls today, before and during the time at the car dealership. And made a few, too. Stuff is coming together, but it's a whirlwind. I was so overwhelmed at one point that when I was writing a check, I felt unsure if I was to sign it in the usual place. Hubby screwed up a couple of things for the same reason.

Thank goodness the other flooring (downstairs) won't be installed until Monday. That gives us some time to tackle that, too. But tomorrow our realtor comes with the painter/handyman who abandoned our project prematurely and was a no-show yesterday. I confess I did complain. She even asked if we wanted another person to finish up and redo the stuff that was inadequate. Hubby said no. I told Hubby that he is now managing the handyman. I have had enough with him, and wonder if the developing mania I have had perhaps affected the outcome. [I know that the behavior of some hypomanic/manic people can scare some people off. Do people know what I mean? A degree of perfectionism doesn't help. I generally don't demand it of other people unless imperfection directly affects me, or the value of my house.] We have been shelling out huge amounts of money that we don't really yet have. Getting good money for our house is crucial for this and
our future.

I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm working as hard, as possible!

Soupe, dear, you are sorta still sounding quite revved up. What is the immediate anti-mania med plan for the next 24 hrs?

Hugs! Support! Love!

[yellow_fleurs]

Hi everyone, thanks for the warm welcome back. I am not sure what is going on since starting this Wellbutrin. I felt quite good for about a week and a half there. Like my depression had lifted, more energy, more interest in things. Of course my anxiety and intrusive thoughts were a bit worse, but I kind of expected that. Well, starting yesterday I started feeling more tired and now I feel like I am back at square one with depression. Can't concentrate, no interest in anything, feel flat, really tired and hopeless. I couldn't even bring myself to take out the trash. It's like emotional whiplash. I know I increased the dose less than a week ago so maybe I am getting used to it still. Or maybe this is a placebo effect thing, but I tend to have effects from meds pretty quickly. My psychiatrist said to call if I feel off so maybe I will.

On a positive note, while feeling better I took a lovely hike and saw some autumn leaves and pretty lake. Also caught up with a friend from a distance and carved pumpkins.

Hope you are all doing well. I'll try to catch up soon.

[Sunflower123]

Checking in. Doing well tonight. Had a great therapy session yesterday. Still plodding along with Ambien which isn’t 100% working. Nothing really wild going on but I did find the back door unlocked a few mornings and patio furniture moved. Thanks bpcyclist for giving me a heads up.

My daughter is coming down November 3rd to vote! What a pleasant surprise!

Hugs to all!