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Old 10-17-2020, 12:15 PM   #1
Erecura
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Default I have a suspicion that I'm bipolar

I've had mental health related issues since I was a kid and I've been in treatment/therapy on and off. Sometimes I feel good or okay for years, sometimes I just feel like falling apart.

A good period can last for months. During that, I usually feel like I could take on the world. I can get done a lot of work and get engaged in new projects. I just feel like I want to be on the go all the time and I enjoy that feeling. I can be talkative, think fast and I feel self confident. I also have trouble sleeping during such periods, 'cause my mind is too active and I can't put it to ease. Last time this happened, I was sleeping about 3 hours a night for over 2 weeks. It's nothing extreme though. Once, during one of these periods a friend of mine told me that I seem to be a workaholic, but other than that people usually don't notice there's something different about me. Also, when I can't sleep, I don't feel rested the next day. I feel like a dying crap, but with some coffee and the fact that I simply have to do well at work, I put on a smile and carry on. Other than being more productive, active and interested in work and new projects, I don't experience much else. I'm not impulsive, quite the opposite. I feel organized and put together. I also eat a lot less and I feel like I'm at a perfect control of myself and everything around me.

The lower periods are very bad though. Last time it happened, it lasted for about 2 weeks and I was feeling so much pain, sadness and grief that I was physically sick and hurting. My whole body and soul was hurting. I couldn't get myself to work and was not interested in meeting anyone whatsoever. I couldn't logically explain this feeling, 'cause my life was objectively going really well.

I also often have days, when I feel extremely restless, even angry for no good reason and yet I can't even get up from bed. Today is such a day and I'm so angry with myself. I woke with racing thoughts in my mind, I can't focus on anything and yet I don't want to do anything whatsoever. I've been binge eating for the past week or so and continued to do so today too. During my better days, I don't feel like eating at all, so usually I lost weight often to the point of being underweight, while at other times, when I feel sad or like I'm loosing control, I just binge eat on everything. I was also supposed to clean up the house and take care of myself, but I can't do any of that. I just wish I could put my mind at ease. People have been bothering me with tasks since this morning, so I just turned off my phone and facebook, so none could reach me.

Should I be concerned? Could this bipolar or just general moodiness?
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Old 10-17-2020, 08:01 PM   #2
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Default Re: I have a suspicion that I'm bipolar

Hello Erecura. I'm sorry that you've felt uncomfortable, at times, mood-wise. If you feel that these periods are very distressing or even slightly disabling, I suggest you contact your doctor to discuss them. No one here can, or should, offer any opinions about your mental states. We cannot, and should not, even try to diagnose because we're not qualified to do so. Even if one of us was a psychiatrist, we could not even adequately speculate, based on a post in a forum.

Before visiting your doctor about any concerns, you may want to take an online test and bring the results with you to a consultation. There is a bipolar test here on PC even. The results of such tests are not always accurate and reliable indicators, but rather help with points of further discussion. Truth is, sometimes people without mental health problems have mood swings, more or less productive periods, trouble sleeping, periods of binges, etc, but they may or may not be within the range of bipolar illness diagnosis. Sometimes other health (or mental health) issues may be to blame. It can be hard to know where the "lines" are between the norm and not so norm, or at least be severe enough to warrant certain types of treatment.
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Old 10-17-2020, 08:36 PM   #3
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Default Re: I have a suspicion that I'm bipolar

Hi! Welcome to PC.

Upon reading your post I was strongly reminded of my father, who I feel quite certain had bipolar disorder.

What's difficult for me is that you could very well be describing states of hypomania and states of depression - and, at the end of your post I might think "mixed state" (feeling agitated, but unable to motivate and so on).

And you could also be describing a "normal" you and a "depressed" you.

There are many online tests. Unfortunately, I haven't found a test (or quiz) for BD that I believe thoroughly covers the disorder accurately. But there some that are worth checking out.

What I can say without a doubt is that you are significantly troubled about the moods you experience. For that reason, I strongly encourage you to have an assessment done by a psychiatrist. I truly think doing so would be worth your while.

It's important to remember, too, that seeing a psychiatrist when you're feeling more on the depressed side is important. I say that because when you're feel "up" you might brush off the idea of needing to reach out for help.
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Old 10-19-2020, 12:36 PM   #4
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Default Re: I have a suspicion that I'm bipolar

Sounds like bipolar 2. Bipolar 2 is very sneaky because many people would never guess you have it. You probably need a stabilizer-tegretol or lithium. Be really careful with antidepressants, because they can shoot bipolars up too high. I adjust my dosage a lot, even to the point of cutting the smallest size (75 mg) in half if I am above center. Hugs!
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Old 10-19-2020, 02:58 PM   #5
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Default Re: I have a suspicion that I'm bipolar

I had the same issues before I finally went to a psychiatrist. The racing thoughts especially made it hard to function. The doctor diagnosed me as bipolar and prescribed some meds. It has taken many many tries to find the right meds for me, but I'm so much better now. I hope that you'll reach out to a psych soon and find some relief ASAP.
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Old 10-19-2020, 03:59 PM   #6
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Default Re: I have a suspicion that I'm bipolar

Reading your post, I am definitely concerned. I agree with all the wisdom shared above.

These disorders can be quite tricky to sort diagnostically. For that reason, my advice is to try to see the best possible psychiatrist Dn candidly share all relevant observations openly. Then, see where you guys are.

Many of us received inaccurate initial diagnoses, sucha as major depressive disorder. Be patient. Do your level best. We are here for you.
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Old 10-19-2020, 08:23 PM   #7
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Default Re: I have a suspicion that I'm bipolar

www.psycheducation.org is a good place to learn about BP and maybe get a better idea if it fits you. It is written by a psychiatrist who specializes in bipolar and there is a ton of information. It is how I figured out I had BP 18 years ago and I still go there occasionally when I need to know something.
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Old 10-20-2020, 02:58 PM   #8
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Default Re: I have a suspicion that I'm bipolar

Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
Reading your post, I am definitely concerned. I agree with all the wisdom shared above.

These disorders can be quite tricky to sort diagnostically. For that reason, my advice is to try to see the best possible psychiatrist Dn candidly share all relevant observations openly. Then, see where you guys are.

Many of us received inaccurate initial diagnoses, sucha as major depressive disorder. Be patient. Do your level best. We are here for you.
I agree with this. If you consult a doctor, please consult the best possible psychiatrist and try to be as candid as possible.

I also agree with... the fact that many of us received inaccurate initial diagnoses (major depressive disorder is one of the more common inaccurate/misdiagnoses)
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