I know what’s wrong

Mountaindewed · Oct 25, 2020 at 02:44 AM

I know what’s wrong. Why my moods and anxiety have been all over the place. What’s been so wrong during the pandemic. When I started my transition 7 months ago it really messed with my hormones. Like terribly. I got attracted to my therapist. Deeply attracted. Then the video sessions started messing terribly with my moods and my anxiety. And not being able to see her in person just was killing me emotionally. I just have this huge crush on her because of the hormone shots I started in March. Before that things were fine with her. But I don’t want to tell her what’s been wrong for 7 months because I don’t want her to freak out. She knows something is wrong though. Is there any way I can tell her this calmly and appropriately? She has no idea what’s been wrong. But she’s been on my mind for months and it’s just been so unhealthy.

imaginethat · Oct 25, 2020 at 03:06 AM

Don, I think you need to tell her in order to be free of these gnawing feelings. Developing an attraction to your therapist or doctor is not uncommon. She's probably had this happen before and will be able to handle it.

Wishing you luck.

Fuzzybear · Oct 25, 2020 at 11:42 PM

I also think that you need to tell her, to be free of these gnawing feelings.

I also think that she will probably be able to handle this, and has likely had this happen before.

hugs and respect

fern46 · Oct 26, 2020 at 11:11 AM

There are many ways to be free of these feelings. Telling her is one way. Another way would be to work with your knowing that this is a hormonally induced attraction. You can leverage that and remind yourself frequently that the feelings are just feelings and not reality.

I think it would probably be ok to tell her, but it isn't your only option.

imaginethat · Oct 26, 2020 at 08:28 PM

You could also write her a letter to get out all of your feelings but not send it. That's what I did with my ex boyfriend.

I wish you the best.

Fuzzybear · Oct 26, 2020 at 08:34 PM

I also think that some sorts of therapy work with what is termed ''transference''.. It sounds like you are experiencing erotic transference. It's certainly an option not to tell her. I suggest trusting your intuition as to whether to tell her or not.

If she is a transference based therapist, she probably suspects or even knows anyway. imo.

Mountaindewed · Oct 29, 2020 at 01:23 PM

I told her but not exactly. I said that I was more demisexual then assexusal but it’s in the same family but it’s where you are only attracted to someone you’re attached to or working closely with. I didn’t outright say I had a crush on her. And I’m not sure she understood exactly what I was trying to say. She said “I think I know what you mean.” I was just treading carefully based on other parts of our conversations today. Plus I was uncomfortable physically. So maybe she knows. Maybe she doesn’t. I don’t know if I want to push the topic more or not at a later time.

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imaginethat Member Member Since Dec 2016 Location: La la land Posts: 331 7 111 hugs given	Oct 25, 2020 at 03:06 AM #2 Don, I think you need to tell her in order to be free of these gnawing feelings. Developing an attraction to your therapist or doctor is not uncommon. She's probably had this happen before and will be able to handle it. Wishing you luck.
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,326 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Oct 25, 2020 at 11:42 PM #3 I also think that you need to tell her, to be free of these gnawing feelings. I also think that she will probably be able to handle this, and has likely had this happen before. hugs and respect __________________
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fern46 Grand Magnate Member Since Mar 2019 Location: USA Posts: 3,021 5 4,300 hugs given	Oct 26, 2020 at 11:11 AM #4 There are many ways to be free of these feelings. Telling her is one way. Another way would be to work with your knowing that this is a hormonally induced attraction. You can leverage that and remind yourself frequently that the feelings are just feelings and not reality. I think it would probably be ok to tell her, but it isn't your only option.
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imaginethat Member Member Since Dec 2016 Location: La la land Posts: 331 7 111 hugs given	Oct 26, 2020 at 08:28 PM #5 You could also write her a letter to get out all of your feelings but not send it. That's what I did with my ex boyfriend. I wish you the best.
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,326 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Oct 26, 2020 at 08:34 PM #6 I also think that some sorts of therapy work with what is termed ''transference''.. It sounds like you are experiencing erotic transference. It's certainly an option not to tell her. I suggest trusting your intuition as to whether to tell her or not. If she is a transference based therapist, she probably suspects or even knows anyway. imo. __________________
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