[bpcyclist]

Sleep is not great. Oh well. Good bike ride today. Cannot believe we are spending this much money on an airplane. Oh well. We do need it. Easily afford it now. Kust a big purchase. It will make the kids--employees--very happy. Has a big screen tv and internet and 500 movies to watch. Seats turn to cozy beddie byes. The pilots freaking love it. Very green, super fuel efficient engines. A Boeing 787. Dreamliner, I guess. Nonstop from Portland to Singapore, no problem. Will take my whole team, 40 people.guess I am excited about it. I will spend anything to stop suicides. Love and hugs.

[Victoria'smom]

bpcyclist, I'm a little concerned you were/are going to buy a house and now a plane. Those are both very large purchases do you have someone to talk this over with that you trust

I've been unhappy about feeling that i have nothing to look forward to but i realize now that i do: on my next birthday in August i turn 55 and will qualify for a vibrant seniors' center we have in my city! So that will be a whole new experience, a whole raft of new people. It will be more a variety of people than the ones i've met in mental health drop-ins these past 25 years. I'll look for a best friend! I'd really like to have one again. The center has programming all the livelong day.

So that's just nine months away. Meantime i can keep growing my hair and have an attractive hairdo for then. I'll have to buy some new clothes too, closer to the time of course. I just have four sweatpants that fit. The center is closed now due to COVID and there's no saying it will be open by August, but our leader hopes we'll have 70% of our population (Canada) vaccinated by next Fall so it's possible.

So: i DO have something to look forward to!!!

Hugs to all who struggle!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

bpcyclist, I'm a little concerned you were/are going to buy a house and now a plane. Those are both very large purchases do you have someone to talk this over with that you trust

Thanks, hon. I have a peer support person assigned to me 24 7. I am not allowed to spend a penny without her approval and 2 other people's. Thanks. Just being real. Our company is sorta flying pretty high I guess.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Md, maybe you have a physical illness, maybe you have a mental illness, maybe you have both. Maybe you are unconsciously somatisizing. I've seen people get severely physically ill from anxiety and get wound up with health anxiety. It's a good thing that you're seeing your GP and Gyn. But weren't you supposed to go to the OP assessment tomorrow?

I am sick. Something isn’t right that I think is making me act like this. You are always supposed to rule out medical issues before mental health.

No one is even telling me why I have to do the outpatient program. Am I there for a substance abuse issue or an eating disorder. No one is giving me any answers they are just telling me I need a higher level of care. Why because I have sepsis or meningitis or something?

When I have put off medical issues in the past thinking it wasn’t a big deal they have always turned out to be cellulitis or something ended up abscessing. I know what I need to do first

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Sleep is not great. Oh well. Good bike ride today. Cannot believe we are spending this much money on an airplane. Oh well. We do need it. Easily afford it now. Kust a big purchase. It will make the kids--employees--very happy. Has a big screen tv and internet and 500 movies to watch. Seats turn to cozy beddie byes. The pilots freaking love it. Very green, super fuel efficient engines. A Boeing 787. Dreamliner, I guess. Nonstop from Portland to Singapore, no problem. Will take my whole team, 40 people.guess I am excited about it. I will spend anything to stop suicides. Love and hugs.

So, I am assuming none of your money is going to this? I hope not.

Why Singapore? That's a bad place to go if your mental health is not perfect. You know that people get arrested there easily for what seem like minor offenses. Singapore is one of the worst in that respect. They place a lot of importance on discipline, and corporal punishment is widely accepted. When mentally ill, crap happens. I am not joking here.

Yes, it's dangerous to be manic or depressed in some countries. Or at least very uncomfortable or risky in some way(s). I encountered trouble in Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Thailand. I was lucky I didn't suffer worse consequences. Many can/do, especially if vulnerable. I see you as vulnerable right now. Sorry, but you don't seem fully well. At least in Taiwan, and to a degree in Hong Kong, I could communicate in the language. It's true that English is widely studied in much of Asia, but it's not always fluent.

Have you discussed this "plane renting" and travel plan with your psychiatrist and therapist? You should, immediately.

[daladico]

Brain is amping up. Step before the racing thoughts get bad. Think it’s too soon to contact my pdoc but if it gets worse I will. Sometimes it resolves on its own before it gets bad. Will keep you guys posted <3

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

So, I am assuming none of your money is going to this? I hope not.

Why Singapore? That's a bad place to go if your mental health is not perfect. You know that people get arrested there easily for what seem like minor offenses. Singapore is one of the worst in that respect. They place a lot of importance on discipline, and corporal punishment is widely accepted. When mentally ill, crap happens. I am not joking here.

Yes, it's dangerous to be manic or depressed in some countries. Or at least very uncomfortable or risky in some way(s). I encountered trouble in Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Thailand. I was lucky I didn't suffer worse consequences. Many can/do, especially if vulnerable. I see you as vulnerable right now. Sorry, but you don't seem fully well. At least in Taiwan, and to a degree in Hong Kong, I could communicate in the language. It's true that English is widely studied in much of Asia, but it's not always fluent.

Have you discussed this "plane renting" and travel plan with your psychiatrist and therapist? You should, immediately.

I promise we will not wire the money until I speak to him.

[Gabyunbound]

I forgot what I last wrote so I apologize if any of this is repetitive.

My mother is now in Hospice care and they are amazing. When she was in a lot of pain and short of breath the other night, her caregiver called hospice, they sent a nurse out and they gave her morphine (she also drew up the liquid morphine in syringes to squirt in my mother's mouth, so no one would have to measure it). Also, the oxycodone arrived by courier just before the nurse arrived. I arrived at the same time.

After about an hour, my mother was comfortable. We talked and it was like she was my mom again. It was very moving and I was happy for her.

I spoke to her last night, and she was high as a kite on Oxy. I told a friend of mine and she said be careful, it's so addictive. Seriously?? My mother is dying, give her her high!! She takes it every 8 hours if she's in pain and it makes her comfortable. She hasn't needed the morphine in addition since the nurse was there. In any case, it was wonderful talking to her: she was happy and chatty.

I'm going to see her today. I took the whole week off from work to be able to see her every day and then will be back to work next week. My mom needs me to help her organize her files and we'll do that today. I ordered her a bunch of new files and what not, because hers are falling apart. Also ordered her a funny, Christmas-themed carnation arrangement that will arrive today. She loves white carnations.

I might spend the night tonight, but if I do it may be at a local hotel. I'm not sure. She used to get up a lot at night, but slept through the night night before last after all those meds. I don't know about last night. But as my pdoc told me at our appointment yesterday, I absolutely must get good night's sleep because that is my #1 trigger for Bipolar episodes.

Whether I plan to spend the night or not, I will bring my meds, including my PRN's, in case, at the last minute, I decide to spend the night because she's not doing well. I was left without them last weekend when she ended up in the hospital, missed two doses, and it was not pretty, on top of all of the stress and sadness.

So she is not expected to live beyond some 6 months. I will do everything I can to make this time as comfortable and happy as possible. I will see her as much as I possibly can.

I am so so so grateful for hospice. They have a whole team of providers looking after her to keep her comfortable, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I will forever be in their debt.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I promise we will not wire the money until I speak to him.

I'm glad.

[Mountaindewed]

My left side is so painful and then the pain goes over to my spleen. This has been going on for several days but it just these last couple days got worse and now It’s getting to the point where walking is difficult. Last night I was in a lot of pain and I haven’t eaten much in a couple days. I know I need to get my mental health checked out as well but I think I need to take care of this first. I think they are overlapping.

[Sunflower123]

I’m doing okay today. I’ve got a big project going on that I’m stalled on and it’s frustrating. I have some internal and external pressure to get it done.

My daughter is coming home next week for two weeks and I have a dilemma. She’ll be around her dad and his family and her stepmom and her stepmom’s family. Talk about being outside the pod! That’s too much covid risk for my liking. I don’t know where these people have been or if they are wearing masks. On top of that her father is a paramedic and police officer. Higher chance of exposure. I’ll really have to think about a solution if I want to see her. I hope an answer comes to me because I have a bad feeling about it.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I've been unhappy about feeling that i have nothing to look forward to but i realize now that i do: on my next birthday in August i turn 55 and will qualify for a vibrant seniors' center we have in my city! So that will be a whole new experience, a whole raft of new people. It will be more a variety of people than the ones i've met in mental health drop-ins these past 25 years. I'll look for a best friend! I'd really like to have one again. The center has programming all the livelong day.

So that's just nine months away. Meantime i can keep growing my hair and have an attractive hairdo for then. I'll have to buy some new clothes too, closer to the time of course. I just have four sweatpants that fit. The center is closed now due to COVID and there's no saying it will be open by August, but our leader hopes we'll have 70% of our population (Canada) vaccinated by next Fall so it's possible.

So: i DO have something to look forward to!!!

Hugs to all who struggle!

I’m so pleased you have something to look forward to! That senior center sounds exciting!

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

I forgot what I last wrote so I apologize if any of this is repetitive.

My mother is now in Hospice care and they are amazing. When she was in a lot of pain and short of breath the other night, her caregiver called hospice, they sent a nurse out and they gave her morphine (she also drew up the liquid morphine in syringes to squirt in my mother's mouth, so no one would have to measure it). Also, the oxycodone arrived by courier just before the nurse arrived. I arrived at the same time.

After about an hour, my mother was comfortable. We talked and it was like she was my mom again. It was very moving and I was happy for her.

I spoke to her last night, and she was high as a kite on Oxy. I told a friend of mine and she said be careful, it's so addictive. Seriously?? My mother is dying, give her her high!! She takes it every 8 hours if she's in pain and it makes her comfortable. She hasn't needed the morphine in addition since the nurse was there. In any case, it was wonderful talking to her: she was happy and chatty.

I'm going to see her today. I took the whole week off from work to be able to see her every day and then will be back to work next week. My mom needs me to help her organize her files and we'll do that today. I ordered her a bunch of new files and what not, because hers are falling apart. Also ordered her a funny, Christmas-themed carnation arrangement that will arrive today. She loves white carnations.

I might spend the night tonight, but if I do it may be at a local hotel. I'm not sure. She used to get up a lot at night, but slept through the night night before last after all those meds. I don't know about last night. But as my pdoc told me at our appointment yesterday, I absolutely must get good night's sleep because that is my #1 trigger for Bipolar episodes.

Whether I plan to spend the night or not, I will bring my meds, including my PRN's, in case, at the last minute, I decide to spend the night because she's not doing well. I was left without them last weekend when she ended up in the hospital, missed two doses, and it was not pretty, on top of all of the stress and sadness.

So she is not expected to live beyond some 6 months. I will do everything I can to make this time as comfortable and happy as possible. I will see her as much as I possibly can.

I am so so so grateful for hospice. They have a whole team of providers looking after her to keep her comfortable, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I will forever be in their debt.

This makes me happy to hear that your mom is being made comfortable. I think this type of care is so important so that patients can enjoy their remaining time with those they love. I am really sorry to hear about your mother's condition, though.

[yellow_fleurs]

Hi all, I am doing alright. I had a work presentation that went really well and I was so relieved because that was a big project I have been working on for awhile! I am less happy about the tiny bugs that arrived in my apartment recently and are going to be hard to get rid of because they are not staying in one spot, but going through everything! Ugh!

My mood has been a bit off. I am stopping the Zoloft due to the akathisia and I also started having irritability plus sometimes my sleep was off. Also, some days I felt really depressed randomly. My psychiatrist agreed I should stop it. I stopped yesterday and wonder if I am experiencing withdrawal symptoms as I feel more irritable today but also kind of tired and tearful. I don't think 5 weeks was long enough to have many withdrawal symptoms, although I am also sort of giving up caffeine around the same time so could be from that, too. Turns out I probably have GERD and while giving up coffee is a bummer, at this point I am relieved to not be having all those GERD symptoms and coughing.

There is a possibility I updated everyone on this already, in which case sorry, my memory can be not the best. Sending everyone compassion!

[MuddyBoots]

We are getting snow tomorrow, yay!

I’m doing better today. Tired. Hungry. Slept 13 hours last night.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m doing okay today. I’ve got a big project going on that I’m stalled on and it’s frustrating. I have some internal and external pressure to get it done.

My daughter is coming home next week for two weeks and I have a dilemma. She’ll be around her dad and his family and her stepmom and her stepmom’s family. Talk about being outside the pod! That’s too much covid risk for my liking. I don’t know where these people have been or if they are wearing masks. On top of that her father is a paramedic and police officer. Higher chance of exposure. I’ll really have to think about a solution if I want to see her. I hope an answer comes to me because I have a bad feeling about it.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Oh, yikes. I know that you so much want to see your daughter, but...the situation sounds really risky.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Oh, yikes. I know that you so much want to see your daughter, but...the situation sounds really risky.

You’re right...it does. Thanks for backing up what my instincts are telling me. I’ll talk to her today. I can’t risk my health or that of my mother and brother.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Sapien

We are getting snow tomorrow, yay!

I’m doing better today. Tired. Hungry. Slept 13 hours last night.

Glad you're doing better! And yay for snow! I love snow We got some the other day

[Mountaindewed]

The first doctor I saw said I most likely have a stomach ulcer. He’s prescribing stuff and wants to see me in 5 days. He says thats why I’m not eating a lot and I’m tired because I’m not sleeping well because of the pain. He’s doing a lot of other blood work. But you can get ulcers from stress and I know my therapist and therapy has been a great deal of stress for me. He also said to stop drinking caffeine and I’ve been drinking it because of how tired I’ve been. So he’s also checking me for mono too. He said if things get worse go immediately to the ER.

I have my next appointment later this afternoon.

I’m not exactly sure what to do now. As I’ve been saying my symptoms are not mental health unless you count possible stress. So if my Pdoc and therapist don’t want to work with me anymore because I’m physically sick then that’s there problem and I just think that is very wrong.