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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 01:09 PM
  #941
I've been feeling quite tired/sleepy much earlier in the evening, in recent weeks. I've also been sleeping more hours. Today I feel a little drowsy and it's only a bit after noon. At first I assumed it a result of the big stress from the house selling easing (and shorter days). Now, I'm wondering if my newer medications are playing a part, namely my statin, plus my new blood pressure medication. I googled them online, and two of the three new medications have tiredness as a potential side effect. We'll see. It's not THAT bad, but noticeable.

I've really started planning meals from stuff in my freezer, fridge, and pantry, instead of buying new groceries. After about two weeks, much of it will have to go to either a food pantry, someone willing to take it (family/friends), or the trash. It's a shame. I will ship some of it to Czech Republic, though, along with our furniture, but can't send anything for a fridge or freezer. And anything "open" can't go. The only thing I'm thinking of buying to ship is peanut butter. It can be found in Czech Republic, but not readily, plus I have a specific brand/type I like. Hubby won't eat it. It's all mine.

We have a cute little Christmas tree, but it's a live one that we're keeping in a pot on our porch. That will be the extent of our decorations. It will also have to find some new home, afterwards.

My blog statistics show that my Czech Christmas cookie posts are on fire. This week alone, the main Christmas Cookie post has gotten 500 views. Then there are the 10 individual cookie posts that have gotten on average 50 views each. I think the pandemic is likely inspiring more people than usual to bake cookies. Maybe someday I'll put together an American Christmas Cookie post (in both English and Czech). The Czech one includes the cookie names in both English and Czech. It even looks like Czechs, themselves, are finding those recipes, as this week my blog has had 75 views from there.

This year, the only Christmas food I will likely make are rum balls (with rum soaked dried cherries inside). I made them today.
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 01:10 PM
  #942
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Originally Posted by daladico View Post
Hey bipolarchic- so sorry you are struggling so much and so glad you reached out on here. Know that you are not alone in this. Many of us have been in similar places. And it is freaking rough. Please let us know if there is anything more we can do to support you. And let us know how your next appointment goes.

Have you had any med adjustments recently? With the labile sleep and irritable mood and increased SI (?) perhaps a med adjustment could help?

In the past when I’ve been in crisis, I have adamantly refused IP, so I get that side of it do you know if there are other IP options that have a better reputation than the one(s) you have been to? Some are much better than others.

Have you ever done IOP? I haven’t done it before, but perhaps it would provide extra support through this.

Big hugs, friend. Thinking about you & hoping things start to improve soon <3 We are with you through this <3 <3 <3
I’ve done intensive outpatient before. It’s a mixed bag. Honestly, it’s not gonna fix the health issues that are going wrong so I just don’t think it’s what I need right now I really need to sit down and develop a nutrition plan and start healing my body. At this moment, I don’t feel in crisis. I am just trying to problem solve the issue.
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 01:14 PM
  #943
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Finished decorating my Christmas tree 🎄

Looks great!

I forget how much a tree invokes the season. This is probably not the best thread or forum to put this in, but your tree just reminded me that we’ve (my mom and I) have not decorated or did anything “festive of the holiday” beyond exchange gifts since 2006. My brother died that year, about a month before Christmas. I’m not saying there is a correlation or that it’s even significant. I’ve not associated anything truly negative about not decorating or really give it much thought, but it’s odd to stand back and look in a bit on that idea. Why don’t we anymore? Anyway, like I said, we still exchange gifts and our Christmases are usually very small ( My mom, my sister and I) so I guess there isn’t much need. Everyone hates taking down the crap afterwards anyway haha.
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 01:19 PM
  #944
@Blue_Bird The tree looks great!

@Soupe du jour Rum balls! Those sound so good. I don't think I've ever had one!

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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 01:24 PM
  #945
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Originally Posted by MarcusAurelius View Post
Looks great!

I forget how much a tree invokes the season. This is probably not the best thread or forum to put this in, but your tree just reminded me that we’ve (my mom and I) have not decorated or did anything “festive of the holiday” beyond exchange gifts since 2006. My brother died that year, about a month before Christmas. I’m not saying there is a correlation or that it’s even significant. I’ve not associated anything truly negative about not decorating or really give it much thought, but it’s odd to stand back and look in a bit on that idea. Why don’t we anymore? Anyway, like I said, we still exchange gifts and our Christmases are usually very small ( My mom, my sister and I) so I guess there isn’t much need. Everyone hates taking down the crap afterwards anyway haha.
I'm so sorry sorry to hear about your brother

I hate taking down the stuff afterwards too, the ornaments are a pain honestly lol But I like how it looks and it's good for my mental health, puts me in a good mood and makes my apartment feel cozy. I plan on decorating the tree for every holiday I celebrate and the seasons. So like an Easter tree, a St. Patricks one, Halloween, spring, thanksgiving/fall themed. Just something fun to look forward to and get to be creative.

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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 01:30 PM
  #946
Great Christmas tree 🎄

Soupe, my mum made rum balls one year when I was around 8-9. I had an aunt who went nuts telling everybody not to eat them as they were the portal into evil! Chill lady they are just cookies. After that mum only made them for her side of the family. I always thought they were Norwegian cookies as that was my dads side of the family.

Our tree is up and getting decorated slowly.

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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 01:43 PM
  #947
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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I use a light box even in the summer when there are several rainy days in a row. I use it for up to 2 hours with my NP’s and therapist’s approval during the dark times of SAD (this is not the norm). I haven’t run into anxiety, irritability or trouble sleeping due to the light box. I hope you won’t either. Good luck.

Thank you, Jennifer. So when you use your light box for that length of time, do you just keep it in the same room that you're in and go about doing whatever you'd normally be doing? Or do you actually sit near it for 2 hours?

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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 01:48 PM
  #948
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... In therapy, we work on distress tolerance but why should we always tolerate it. Why are they not helping me get rid of the distress. My therapist also likes to down play what I go through and she tries to get me to do things that makes life harder. I want my life less stressed not more so. Like we are are headed in the wrong direction chief.

That's an important question. Well worth asking.

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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 02:03 PM
  #949
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
I'm so sorry sorry to hear about your brother

I hate taking down the stuff afterwards too, the ornaments are a pain honestly lol But I like how it looks and it's good for my mental health, puts me in a good mood and makes my apartment feel cozy. I plan on decorating the tree for every holiday I celebrate and the seasons. So like an Easter tree, a St. Patricks one, Halloween, spring, thanksgiving/fall themed. Just something fun to look forward to and get to be creative.

Thank you -- it's been many years since he passed. Holidays always bring up memories though.

I think that's a great idea! Especially if you have a lot of creativity. I personally have very little creativity and I'm not very good with my hands -- but my sister on the other hand is really into drawing, art, ceramics, etc. She says pintrest always has festive "seasonal" crafts and knicknacks to make. I had a neighbor who had a similar idea and made door wreaths, she had enough inspiration to do a different one every month! It was quite impressive, some were... not what I could call attractive or want hanging on my door, but for the most part they were very tasteful and very "in season"!
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 02:43 PM
  #950
Good luck with the move soupe du jour. I am considering moving to another country as well but not sure where yet. The cherry soaked rum balls sound delicious.
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 03:02 PM
  #951
I belong to my mom's neighborhood facebook page since I lived there for 10 years. The realtor posted a listing for my old house- a different one that i lived in for four years- '74-'78. It's a great house and I've known the people who bought it from us this whole time- since '78! Now they are moving to Kentucky and it's like the house is moving! I will miss them, though we weren't that close. They know who we are- they remember when we sold it to them - and have let us in for a memory-jog a couple times over the years. So yes, my mom and I have lived in 3 different houses in the same neighborhood.

Only another day and a half before they stop playing medicare commercials on tv! I need a countdown timer. :ROFL:

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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 03:27 PM
  #952
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Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


Hi fleurs, for how many minutes do you use your light box? My pdoc is insistent that I use one, which I have been doing, but I am also concerned about setting off anxiety or irritability - or sleep.
Hi Bethrags, I am still sort of figuring it out. In the past I think I used it like 30ish min a day, but it's a little much for my eyes on the highest setting so I am using it on a lower setting for a bit longer. I honestly probably need to review with my pdoc again as I can't recall exactly what he said when we discussed it a couple of years back. I am trying to pay attention to my moods to make sure I don't get irritable. It happened once in the past a couple years ago. Has your pdoc recommended how long to use it for? I hope it helps you if you decide to use it.
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 03:29 PM
  #953
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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I use a light box even in the summer when there are several rainy days in a row. I use it for up to 2 hours with my NP’s and therapist’s approval during the dark times of SAD (this is not the norm). I haven’t run into anxiety, irritability or trouble sleeping due to the light box. I hope you won’t either. Good luck.
Do you find you get depressed with rainy days like that? I find I do, and sometimes use it in that case.
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 03:32 PM
  #954
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I don’t know. I have started applying for jobs and I think it will help once I land one. Not financially distressed yet. Honestly though I think my issues with my mental health are not actually related to bipolar alone.. I think I have leaky gut syndrome and I think that’s actually what’s causing the suicidal thinking. I noticed that whenever I’m feeling strong suicidal urges, my stomach hurts a lot. I have also developed digestive issues, diabetes and high blood pressure. I think I need to do some research and get my blood sugar under control and get my issues with my stomach under control. In therapy, we work on distress tolerance but why should we always tolerate it. Why are they not helping me get rid of the distress. My therapist also likes to down play what I go through and she tries to get me to do things that makes life harder. I want my life less stressed not more so. Like we are are headed in the wrong direction chief.
I am sorry you are going through all that. I've had overlapping mental and physical health problems and it can be so tough to deal with both and even figure it all out from my experience. I have been trying to kind of attack things from all angles since I know my physical health affects my mental health a visa versa. Do you have a doctor for your health issues?

I have felt similar regarding the distress tolerance exercises. I think they are helpful to learn so that I can handle it when it happens, but you don't want to feel your issues or being downplayed or you're expected to just live feeling bad all the time. Do you think it would help to tell your therapist you don't feel validated?
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 03:33 PM
  #955
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Thank you -- it's been many years since he passed. Holidays always bring up memories though.

I think that's a great idea! Especially if you have a lot of creativity. I personally have very little creativity and I'm not very good with my hands -- but my sister on the other hand is really into drawing, art, ceramics, etc. She says pintrest always has festive "seasonal" crafts and knicknacks to make. I had a neighbor who had a similar idea and made door wreaths, she had enough inspiration to do a different one every month! It was quite impressive, some were... not what I could call attractive or want hanging on my door, but for the most part they were very tasteful and very "in season"!

I read this as tasty!!!!!!!!lol
funny when you try to read thru a post quickly what the mind will say.
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 03:40 PM
  #956
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I read this as tasty!!!!!!!!lol
funny when you try to read thru a post quickly what the mind will say.
bizi

That is funny! Imagine -- "Honey, the neighbor is gnawing on the door wreath again." LOL
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 03:43 PM
  #957
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Thank you, Jennifer. So when you use your light box for that length of time, do you just keep it in the same room that you're in and go about doing whatever you'd normally be doing? Or do you actually sit near it for 2 hours?
I watch the news for two hours in the morning and I have it set up so that I can do both. Trying to cut down....on the news.
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 03:46 PM
  #958
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Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs View Post
Do you find you get depressed with rainy days like that? I find I do, and sometimes use it in that case.
Yes, I sure do. I’m sorry that happens to you as well.
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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 04:02 PM
  #959
I've been considering getting a lightbox too. It's pretty gloomy here in New York from October through March and I could use it to lift my mood when I'm feeling down.

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Default Dec 06, 2020 at 04:15 PM
  #960
Speaking of baking, my mom is making her famous shortbread today! She sent me pix. Last year, I helped her make them. She's going to make another 15. She made 15 today.
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File Type: jpg shortbread2.jpg (250.2 KB, 11 views)
File Type: jpg shortbread3.jpg (262.3 KB, 9 views)
File Type: jpg shortbread4.jpg (323.0 KB, 9 views)

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