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BeyondtheRainbow
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Default Nov 27, 2020 at 11:10 PM
  #601
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Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
He is scared I will get manic and jump again. 10 attempts last month. Police . IP. Blah.

Seems reasonable I'm afraid. My pdoc just declined to give me meds that I had a near attempt with years ago. She didn't say that was why but I'm sure it is. No more sleeping pills for me. I knew that was true for a long time but I didn't know it was forever.

Have you given clozapine more thought?

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Default Nov 27, 2020 at 11:18 PM
  #602
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Seems reasonable I'm afraid. My pdoc just declined to give me meds that I had a near attempt with years ago. She didn't say that was why but I'm sure it is. No more sleeping pills for me. I knew that was true for a long time but I didn't know it was forever.

Have you given clozapine more thought?
Yeah. Guess I will start Clozaril. Sposed to help with suicide.

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Default Nov 27, 2020 at 11:23 PM
  #603
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Yeah. Guess I will start Clozaril. Sposed to help with suicide.
I've not had a suicidal period since I went on it 4 years ago. The year before I went on I was nearly constantly suicidal.

I think that if it's come up as a possibility as much as it has for you that trying it can't hurt. If you hate it or can't tolerate it at least then you know.

It was pretty much the last possible drug for me. I could have done some typicals but I've had dystonia so often my pdoc was afraid that I'd be really likely to have it again. So this was a better option. I'm glad I tried it even though I was scared at first.

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Default Nov 27, 2020 at 11:25 PM
  #604
I just want a sweet girl to love me and not cheat on me.

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Default Nov 27, 2020 at 11:27 PM
  #605
I think that's a reasonable goal. But first you need to be stable. I think that falls into the "no big decisions when unstable" category my therapist reminds me of frequently. My rule, not his, but he needs to remind me of it sometimes.

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Default Nov 27, 2020 at 11:57 PM
  #606
My mild depression continued today. Seems i have a good day, then a bad day, repeat. That's better than no good days at all tho. I ate a whole loaf of garlic bread today in a total F-you to nutrition. Sigh! I despair of myself...

Hugs to all who struggle! Especially @bpcyclist. This too shall pass!

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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 12:09 AM
  #607
Bpcyclist, how are you now? I understand wanting to be with someone. I would get stable first, then it might come to you.
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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 01:05 AM
  #608
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My mild depression continued today. Seems i have a good day, then a bad day, repeat. That's better than no good days at all tho. I ate a whole loaf of garlic bread today in a total F-you to nutrition. Sigh! I despair of myself...

Hugs to all who struggle! Especially @bpcyclist. This too shall pass!

Thank yo.

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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 01:07 AM
  #609
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Bpcyclist, how are you now? I understand wanting to be with someone. I would get stable first, then it might come to you.
A little better.

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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 01:40 AM
  #610
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A little better.
That's good. Hang in there.
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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 04:32 AM
  #611
Well, 130 in the morning. Wide awake. Bot not too suicidal, so that is maybe good.

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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 06:26 AM
  #612
330 now. Just uh having a hard time not feeling anguish and loss and tragedy I guess. Oh well.

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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 08:03 AM
  #613
0500. Just uh surviving maybe. Gotta hit Safeway at 6. Get out for a bit. I am trying.

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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 09:47 AM
  #614
Hi all. I am doing okay overall! My sleep has been off some nights (woke up at like 3 am and didn't go back to sleep last night), and am sometimes irritable, but otherwise my mood is good. I do think maybe I'll ask to stop this Zoloft, just not sure it's helping anything.

I am super relieved that I started taking pantoprazole for this chronic cough that might be GERD, and it seems to be working. The coughing has improved and my appetite is returning. I have had a poor appetite for months and just felt my stomach turn at the thought of food, but I finally feel like I can eat again, which is good because I lost too much weight.

Today I am going to apply for jobs. Trying to be productive. Hope everyone has a good day!
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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 09:48 AM
  #615
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0500. Just uh surviving maybe. Gotta hit Safeway at 6. Get out for a bit. I am trying.
Did you make it to Safeway? Are you feeling safe?
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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 10:10 AM
  #616
I participated in bipolar chat yesterday evening. It was fun; I truly felt among peers. I do wish it could be a bit earlier though, so those in the UK can participate.

Maybe I'll do some weaving today. Otherwise, all I have to do are chores and exercise. And sleep as much as I can, for as long as I can.

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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 11:07 AM
  #617
I meant to join the chat but then forgot about it. Hopefully next week I can join. It sounds like everyone enjoyed it.
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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 11:12 AM
  #618
This is my first time here, so hello. I hope everyone is well.
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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 11:16 AM
  #619
I’m feeling pretty good today. My anxiety is low and my bipolar symptoms are ok too. I’ve been getting these periods of hot and cold and earlier my temp was one degree above normal. So I hope my thanksgiving trip isn’t coming back and getting me already. But I slept last night for about 10 hours without any sleep meds. I have this oral sensory thing that helped me fall asleep basically instantly when I put my phone down and used it.

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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 11:59 AM
  #620
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Did you make it to Safeway? Are you feeling safe?
Yeah. Thanks. I will not SH due to Catholic faith, which is very deep in me. I feel a bit hopeful for the first time in this crash. Thankful to God. He never leaves my feeble, crying side and does not judge me for being a male. And showing this somewhat female vulnerability to the planet and my people without shame or fear of reprisal from other macho males in our culture. It is difficult to be an exquisitely sensitive man. We have our own double standards to not live up to. He is too sweet. Therefore, I will cheat on him and destroy him because I am a freaking beotch. Or. Or. . He is mean to me and treats me like an object. Etc. You get the idea.

So, it really is virtually imposskble to meet the needs of many modern women. In my view. Unreal standards for us. Then, they cheat. Same thing every freaking time. And they blame us. I blame them. Them and their teenagerish inability to douse their womanly hormones xith something that could actually save the marriage. I'll take faith in God for 5 zillion, Alex.

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