We can't get a break

wolftrap · Nov 20, 2020 at 05:54 PM

I was just in a casual conversation with neighbors, and one of them was telling us how difficult it is for her daughter in college with Covid. She has to do all courses online in her apartment.

THEN, she says that it's even more horrible because her daughter's roommate has bipolar and has threatened to kill her and her cat and won't allow them to turn on the heat because it is too expensive.

At that point I zoned out of the conversation and left when I could politely do so. What can one do in such situations? It's not the time or place to educate someone. Trying to do so would only make matters worse.

Anyway, it left me with a sick feeling in my heart.

*Beth* · Nov 20, 2020 at 06:00 PM

Hmm. If I had a room mate who offered to kill me and my cat I would move out within the hour.

wolftrap · Nov 20, 2020 at 06:20 PM

I agree! But how much of this is hyperbole? I didn't know what to take at face value and what not to take at face value. So, I guess I really didn't know anything. I took it as just another way for people to heap their frustrations and fears upon someone termed bipolar, no matter what the facts may be. I guess I was making a big assumption. Well, I still felt like crap...

*Beth* · Nov 20, 2020 at 06:33 PM

No, no...you had every right to feel like crap. I was being flippant.

It's easy for me to (unfortunately) assume your neighbor meant "bipolar" as in "crazy" not as in the clinical term "bipolar disorder."

Yes, it's frustrating and demeaning. I've gotten older and crankier; I'll tend to ask someone "Do you mean she truly has bipolar disorder?" And look them straight in the face.

If the neighbor is put on the spot and tongue-tied I'd let her squirm for a bit.

But then I've been angry for 3 days.

fern46 · Nov 20, 2020 at 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Hmm. If I had a room mate who offered to kill me and my cat I would move out within the hour.

Me too, except I am dog person... And sometimes we need heat.

On a serious note, I wonder how much of that is real. If it is close to the truth, the roommate needs help and yes, the neighbor's daughter needs education.

wolftrap · Nov 20, 2020 at 08:13 PM

Yeah...Beth, in my experience people often substitute the term "crazy" with "bipolar". That is a good point you bring up. I've been in that situation a few times. Someone describes abnormal behavior then says in a hushed voice "he/she has bipolar". Really? Are you sure? How do you know? Do they have a psychiatrist? Have you talked to the psychiatrist?...etc...etc...I think I've shared this, but once I told a guy I have bipolar (in a dive bar, big mistake), and he looked at me in horror and said "don't kill me." He was absolutely serious. He was an Afghanistan vet and moved away from me very quickly! Another time I told a girlfriend and she said "I can't take care of you, I don't know what you might do to me." I said, " I didn't ask you to take care of me and I'm not going to do anything to you!" Well, that was her breakup line.

Sometimes "crazy" and "bipolar" are used to mean the same thing by people who don't know any better.

*Beth* · Nov 21, 2020 at 06:49 AM

I feel bad that you've had such hurtful experiences. The ignorance about mental illness is astounding to me. And sad.

Nov 23, 2020 at 07:13 PM

I once had someone confide in me in a drop-in that they "didn't like all the mentally ill people" there. I was speechless! Another time a woman in my Scrabble club described an irresponsible relative and said, "i don't know, maybe she has bipolar."

These are horrible remarks of course but it means i'm hiding it well. So there's that.

*Beth* · Nov 23, 2020 at 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I once had someone confide in me in a drop-in that they "didn't like all the mentally ill people" there. I was speechless! Another time a woman in my Scrabble club described an irresponsible relative and said, "i don't know, maybe she has bipolar."

......

Revolting.

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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Nov 20, 2020 at 06:00 PM #2 Hmm. If I had a room mate who offered to kill me and my cat I would move out within the hour. __________________
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Nov 21, 2020 at 06:49 AM #7 I feel bad that you've had such hurtful experiences. The ignorance about mental illness is astounding to me. And sad. __________________
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Anonymous41462 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 23, 2020 at 07:13 PM #8 I once had someone confide in me in a drop-in that they "didn't like all the mentally ill people" there. I was speechless! Another time a woman in my Scrabble club described an irresponsible relative and said, "i don't know, maybe she has bipolar." These are horrible remarks of course but it means i'm hiding it well. So there's that.
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