Intense irritability

Hi pc family,

What is the best tip you’ve found to deal with intense irritability?

I use a lot of coping skills but haven’t found the right mindset to help get through this symptom.

The things I’ve found most helpful so far for the highly irritable days:
1. Intense workout
2. Isolate (not necessarily heathy but 🤷*♀️)

You?

I make sure to bump up the intensity of my exercise in the morning, spend most of the day with headphones on listening to music, then at night I’ll wrap myself in a weighted blanket with some lavender going (essential oils on the pillow or a candle or something like that) while listening to something calming with the lights off. If I’m having destructive rages I’ll throw in a klonopin too. I’ll isolate too. I think it’s better to take some space than to be constantly overwhelmed just trying to not be aggressive.
If it lasts more than a couple days I’ll call the mental health center and see if there’s any med changes she wants to make.

Dear daladico,

Thanks so much for your post. I hope you get lots of responses to it and that some prove helpful.

When I am irritable, I get stuck in a "could be better but isn't better" frame of mind. What helps me personally is to try to shift to a "could be worse, but isn't worse" frame of mind.

Usually I sit down and make a list of things I am grateful for in myself, others and in life in general. If I find I irritate myself I try to comfort myself with the thought that I could be worse but am not worse. If I find another person irritates me I try to remember that this person could be worse than they are, but are not worse. Perhaps someone is getting on my nerves. I try to remember the good about this person and that this person is no Adolf Hitler. If life is getting to me I try to remember that I am not on fire, don't have rabies, am not stranded in the desert without water and so on. I try to move from attitude to gratitude. Usually I have to look at the list all through the day and night if I am really irritated.

I realize of course that what helps one of us might not work for someone else or might even make them feel worse. I can only share what helps me. I hope your post engenders many helpful responses from others here.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

Something I discovered, that may not apply to everyone, is that sometimes for me there is a sensory component to it, where loud sounds, etc will increase my irritability. I realized I could use this to my advantage and put on really relaxing music or nature sounds like rain and this can help lower that irritability. Also, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths until the irritability passes a bit helps.

I also definitely agree with the exercise, especially if it's something like a hike out in nature.

Sometimes a shower can help, too.

Also avoiding things like caffeine that exacerbate it and eating healthy to keep my blood sugar stable.

I also find exercise helpful. Especially taking walks. I like aromatherapy and it helps relax me, so I put on a good smelling lotion or perfume and just enjoy the scent. There's some aromatherapy lotions that Bath and Body Works makes that I love, especially the Eucalyptus Spearmint one, it's very soothing. There are also sprays you can put on your pillow so if you're laying down you can smell lavender or whatever scent you like.

I've never personally used a weighted blankets but I've heard wonderful things about them and I do plan on getting one eventually. They're supposed to be very helpful for things like this.

Journaling is another thing that helps, but it depends on how irritable I'm feeling. If it's just slightly or moderately, then writing things down can help me but if I'm super irritable it just works me up even more and makes me want to rip through the paper.

I find coloring soothing. Any arts and crafts.

There are also things like fidget toys and putty/clay that can relieve some tension.

Putting on music is one of the most effective things for me. Turning the lights off and just blasting my favorite songs through my headphones.

Sometimes I pray my Rosary (I know this isn't for everyone as everyone's faith differs and some aren't religious) having the beads to hold onto and saying prayers is very meditative. I think meditating in general is very hard when your irritable but something about having something to hold onto and the repetitiveness of it makes it different/relaxing.

A hot cup of tea or cocoa is always a good way to go too.

Anyway, those are just some things that come to mind, there are tons of great ideas in this thread. I hope you find some relief soon

Good thread!

I just went through 3 days of irritability/anger...actually, it's still hanging around.

Talking with my therapist helps a lot. A shower can help - a cold shower during the summer is terrific. Exercise can be a good thing; it can also amp up dysphoric mania for me, too. So I'd say moderate exercise, not exercising to the point of physical stress and exhaustion.

Calming music, yes. Reading a good book is very helpful for me...I get lost in the book and take the focus off myself.

Over and above all else, and regardless of whatever other tools I'm using, I remember to relax my shoulders, relax my jaw and take some good, full, cleansing belly breaths every now and then. In addition, I notice my breathing in general. If I'm feeling irritable/anger/rage I'm most probably not breathing in a healthy way. So no shallow, tense breathing. Good, even, all the way through my lungs, breathing.

Thanks so much you all. Super helpful points. I appreciate it!

I think I’m going to focus on zoning into music more through the irritability.

I’ve also realized that with the intense irritability, I get angry with myself, which makes the irritability worse. I’m going to try to refocus my thoughts to “the irritability isn’t YOU, it’s a symptom of your disorder. It is not your fault. It is temporary.”

Perhaps in the same spirit... You can observe it with curiosity. You can step outside of the 'this is happening to me' perspective and just watch and feel to see what happens. So... You might notice your jaw clench. You might notice your fists are tight. You might notice you are angry. You might notice the same thought repeating.

You can watch it all and see it as interesting. You can view it with a sense of detachment the way a scientist would while observing a subject.

Looking at what is occuring this way helps you to shift the thought/feeling patterns. It can be hard to do, but it is the difference between a person watching a movie and being the actor on stage.

Yes, the self-judging is a nasty poison.

Great thread