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wolftrap
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Default Dec 01, 2020 at 08:13 PM
  #21
Fake it 'till you make it: that sums up my entire career! You should, definitely, be proud that you've made it this far. I suggest that your health is more important than your students. I hope I say this with some insight. My daughter has been teaching for 15 years. You are incredibly dedicated. Yet you must take care of yourself. Do you have a psychiatrist or therapist? I can only sympathize (hugs) and urge you take as good care of yourself as you are of your students. I empathize with what you say. I faked caring for many years.
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Default Dec 02, 2020 at 12:51 PM
  #22
I work when i can. I had a break my 2nd one in 2016. 2017 got a part time job, lost it. 2018 got another kept it for 2 years. And another part time job in my field of study so I'm really working my brain and hoping to be successful enough to transition to full time. So i can buy a place of my own, and a nice car, and live life.

But a part of me likes the life of leisure, work a little, play a little. I'm on disability so i really am doing alright working and playing. Living in my subsidized apt.

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Default Dec 02, 2020 at 10:47 PM
  #23
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Originally Posted by wolftrap View Post
Fake it 'till you make it: that sums up my entire career! You should, definitely, be proud that you've made it this far. I suggest that your health is more important than your students. I hope I say this with some insight. My daughter has been teaching for 15 years. You are incredibly dedicated. Yet you must take care of yourself. Do you have a psychiatrist or therapist? I can only sympathize (hugs) and urge you take as good care of yourself as you are of your students. I empathize with what you say. I faked caring for many years.
Thank you! It’s what probably keeps me going is knowing that I’ve made it this far, why not? I’ve always been such a positive person my whole life so I’m trying to let that part of me shine back through. I never thought life could feel this rough!! Yes I have a psychiatrist. I did have a counselor but stopped seeing her because I felt like I was just telling her the same things every time and it was a waste of money when I can do that with friends and family. She served her purpose when I needed her.
In the beginning of teaching I faked like I cared because students can be rough!! But after the first year I really did care and learned to love my students!! But now I don’t have that caring emotion... I try, but it’s just not there. I don’t want to be there, so I just keep faking it and so far it’s working for me. I really hope I can retire from teaching one day. I don’t want to give it up just because I have an illness... so I’m working hard at staying. When I’m focused on grading or calling parents, or planning, I get lost in the work and don’t think so much about being sick. So maybe it’s good for me?
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Default Dec 05, 2020 at 08:55 PM
  #24
I came close to losing a job from it but found another job and got out before it happened. I am laid off now due to COVID. I worked with my last company for nearly 10 yrs. Some people knew. When I was hypo I tended to get loud and at times overly zealous. Big change from my monotone nature. It was not always a disadvantage. When euphoric, I would be top sales and top of my call center numbers for other metrics. If angry, I walked away rather than ruining my reputation. When depressed I would force myself out of bed and go to work. From there I would access whether it was a good plan. Made it through most days. Most problematic was sometimes had trouble staying awake. On flip side anger and anxiety really sucked trying to get through. Honestly nervous about finding a new job and adjusting to it. I don’t know if I want deal all this anymore.
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Default Dec 07, 2020 at 12:54 PM
  #25
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I came close to losing a job from it but found another job and got out before it happened. I am laid off now due to COVID. I worked with my last company for nearly 10 yrs. Some people knew. When I was hypo I tended to get loud and at times overly zealous. Big change from my monotone nature. It was not always a disadvantage. When euphoric, I would be top sales and top of my call center numbers for other metrics. If angry, I walked away rather than ruining my reputation. When depressed I would force myself out of bed and go to work. From there I would access whether it was a good plan. Made it through most days. Most problematic was sometimes had trouble staying awake. On flip side anger and anxiety really sucked trying to get through. Honestly nervous about finding a new job and adjusting to it. I don’t know if I want deal all this anymore.
That’s great that you held down a job for 10 years. It sounds like you were able to work around this and be functional for a long time. I’m sorry you lost your job over COVID! I think Covid was one of my triggers for developing this illness.... I’m hoping I can do the same with work... I had always planned on retiring as a teacher and I feel like this disorder has the potential of ruining that for me.... if I stop teaching I pretty much lose my retirement. It takes many years for it to be worth anything.
If I didn’t have to work I wouldn’t. I would stay home and raise my little one then decide what to do after that....
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Default Dec 07, 2020 at 01:22 PM
  #26
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Originally Posted by NaoSky View Post
When I’m focused on grading or calling parents, or planning, I get lost in the work and don’t think so much about being sick. So maybe it’s good for me?

I think that losing yourself in the work can indeed be a good thing, but not at the expense of your health! I find that any distraction that is not harmful, especially being productive, can feel good, even though I might not entirely love what it is.
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Default Dec 07, 2020 at 04:55 PM
  #27
Right now due to Pandemic, I am not working.
While I was working, We were like friends with my boss but I was doing my best to hide my depression and sadness but when we start to a regular conversation, he was able to see something was wrong on me, so I started to give unnecessary details about my marriage , my feelings , what is happening in my life and expected him to be supportive but what I realize that after I shared my situation , he started to observe me and even normal reactions started to be seen as if it is because of my depression . . So I don’t know if it depends on where you work but what I learnt from my experience , you just keep your work relations as your work relations. Giving too much details are sometimes making people judgmental about you at work. And it is the last thing for me to see the people’s eyes are always on me. . Off course not everyone is the same but if you are able to fake it till you make it is a better way at work.
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Default Dec 07, 2020 at 05:02 PM
  #28
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Originally Posted by NaoSky View Post
That’s great that you held down a job for 10 years. It sounds like you were able to work around this and be functional for a long time. I’m sorry you lost your job over COVID! I think Covid was one of my triggers for developing this illness.... I’m hoping I can do the same with work... I had always planned on retiring as a teacher and I feel like this disorder has the potential of ruining that for me.... if I stop teaching I pretty much lose my retirement. It takes many years for it to be worth anything.
If I didn’t have to work I wouldn’t. I would stay home and raise my little one then decide what to do after that....
As you near closer to retirement, teaching may become more remote. Do you think that would help you?
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