wishing like the end of my natural life would just hurry up (triggering maybe?)

Hey there. Yes, I feel the same way as you. Can I just tell you first - I so appreciate you sharing your thoughts about this? Do you know how comforting it is to know I'm not alone about thinking this way?

I live with chronic illness. Since the past year, my ability levels have dropped and I can do even less than what I was able to do before. So things are definitely going downhill. I will also be 60 soon, so really ... not much chance of things getting better.

Do you think it's possible we find ways to just keep going until the natural end comes? Like you, I am not actively planning/contemplating ending my own life, but I get tired of living too. Therapy has been helping me but I realize it doesn't help everyone. I wish it could for you.

Can I also tell you that I respect and appreciate you for how you manage to keep going? I know you're not looking for applause but I had to mention it. I honestly believe it takes a LOT of strength and a LOT of courage to be a human. We are so vulnerable to our moods and thoughts and so many of us just fade away. I mean, being rich and famous isn't always the answer. Look at the rich and famous people who ended their lives ... so it obviously didn't ease their pain enough.

Maybe people like us can just keep plodding along, see what happens next. I'm still open to the possibility that there are better moments further up the road. How about you?

Yes, blue, so glad to hear from you again. Ive been wondering how you were doing.