How to refute this sad thought - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-02-2019, 06:59 PM #1
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097

1 yr Member
294 hugs
given
Default How to refute this sad thought

As I'm being prepped for bariatric surgery, a persistent thought is depressing me.

I grew up very poor, which means bad home haircuts and shabby clothes. I matured earlier than most kids my age, which got a lot of bullying. I always felt tall and gonky and massive compared to everybody else. Besides this, I wasn't allowed to wash or groom myself as often as I needed to, because it "cost too much money." Result, more bullying, being called "stinky" and such.

Even long before I was actually overweight, so many people called me "fat" just because the number on the scale was higher. Of course it was. I was also taller and more developed, but all anybody (including me) cared about was the number on the scale. I developed a warped body image and saw myself as fat, even though I was a healthy weight for my height and stage of development.

Until I was 13 and got braces (paid for by strangers, as I was made a charity case) I had severely buck teeth that got me even more bullying. Once my teeth were straightened, I gained weight for real. Hardly even noticed, because with my distorted body image, in my mind, that's what I looked like all along.

The surgery will probably take care of that, but they don't do panniculectomy or any removal of loose skin afterward. Even I'm tripping over my own skin as it drags the floor at my feet, insurance doesn't cover it, and we can't afford it out of pocket.

Plus I'm getting older.

My young years are gone.

Shabby, unkempt appearance. Then the buck teeth. Then the actual weight gain. Now, even before the surgery, skin starting to sag and hang like a shar pei. After the surgery, even more so. Plus the results of age.

At no stage in my life am I ever going to be beautiful.
__________________
I have written the story of my life and recovery, and was given permission to place the link in my signature.


Please be warned that parts of it can be triggering if you are sensitive to descriptions of abuse. I'm not using anybody's real names, including my own.
Arbie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 02-03-2019, 05:32 AM #2
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is online now
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,457
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is online now
Wise Elder
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,457 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
30.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How to refute this sad thought

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Arbie Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. If it can help a bit... we care about you, regardless of your appearence or how you feel about it. I'm sure you're a wonderful person. Try to find some distractions for yourself. Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time? Please don't give up. Life is worth living. I hope you'll feel better soon. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I'm sure of that. I believe in you. I hope the surgery will go well. We all love you here. We care about you. I'm here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
MickeyCheeky is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-03-2019, 06:02 AM #3
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is online now
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,983
sarahsweets sarahsweets is online now
Grand Poohbah
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets Humor is my end game..
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,983 (SuperPoster!)

107 hugs
given
Default Re: How to refute this sad thought

Are you getting insurance to cover the bariatric surgery? A lot of insurances are starting to cover skin removal now.
__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-03-2019, 06:36 AM #4
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097

1 yr Member
294 hugs
given
Default Re: How to refute this sad thought

Insurance does cover the bariatric surgery, but they made it plain in the educational class that they don't cover the excess skin removal afterward. Except in extreme cases. You have to have three documented and treated infections resulting from the sagging skin, for one thing.

There is some glimmer of hope that this may change by the time I need it.
__________________
I have written the story of my life and recovery, and was given permission to place the link in my signature.


Please be warned that parts of it can be triggering if you are sensitive to descriptions of abuse. I'm not using anybody's real names, including my own.
Arbie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-03-2019, 07:29 PM #5
Sisabel's Avatar
Sisabel Sisabel is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,386
Sisabel Sisabel is offline
Poohbah
Sisabel's Avatar
Sisabel always trying...
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,386 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
363 hugs
given
Default Re: How to refute this sad thought

Im so sorry Arbie. Im very sorry youve been though all this. I hope your surgery goes well. Please keep us posted. I hope something changes with your insurance so that you can have the next step and get that surgery for the skin removal. Sending positive vibes your way.
Sisabel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-04-2019, 10:17 AM #6
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
2,346 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How to refute this sad thought

you are beautiful on the inside, and I hope that one day you'll believe that you are beautiful on the outside too.

((((hugs))))
raging vortex is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 02-04-2019, 03:40 PM #7
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097
Arbie Arbie is offline
Poohbah
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,097

1 yr Member
294 hugs
given
Default Re: How to refute this sad thought

Thank you, everyone, for the hope and encouragement. Of course my husband tells me the same thing... it's just hard to believe. Getting it from the head to heart, and all.
__________________
I have written the story of my life and recovery, and was given permission to place the link in my signature.


Please be warned that parts of it can be triggering if you are sensitive to descriptions of abuse. I'm not using anybody's real names, including my own.
Arbie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-05-2019, 08:41 AM #8
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
2,346 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How to refute this sad thought

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arbie View Post
Thank you, everyone, for the hope and encouragement. Of course my husband tells me the same thing... it's just hard to believe. Getting it from the head to heart, and all.


I'm exactly the same

when someone tells me something along the lines of, look at that beautiful face, I think well..... they must have the wrong person

but I also think that people say it because they think that's what I want to hear- not what they actually believe.

have a meeting with everyone and I'm pretty sure they'd say I don't make much of an effert and actually my body looks fat
raging vortex is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:26 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.