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pinkcorr
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Thumbs up Dec 11, 2009 at 01:01 PM
  #41
Thanks for posting this echoes I relate to most if not all of the description. Although I was diagnosed 9 years ago and I've done alot of reading and research, I always find it useful to read other ways in which BPD can be described.



x x x x
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Default Dec 15, 2009 at 12:57 AM
  #42
This is an excellent overview and one that is very easy to read and understand. Maybe my family will better understand the whole BPD thing after reading this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

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Default Dec 28, 2009 at 05:08 PM
  #43
Quote:
Originally Posted by ECHOES View Post
I like this description of BPD because it is more than just a list, and I suppose because I relate to it very much. Learning more about BPD has helped me slow down the processes and find words for what is going on.

When this diagnosis is offered, it isn't always offered as an explanation for how we relate to ourselves and others and the intense emotions that result.
It is a complex way of being, as one thing affects another..affects another. It is no wonder we often feel overwhelmed.
I feel so fortunate to have a psychotherapist who understands, accepts, and is kind and patient.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
from the site:

The symptoms of borderline patients are similar to those for which most people seek psychiatric help: depression, mood swings, the use and abuse of drugs, alcohol, or food as a means of trying to feel better; obsessions, phobias, feelings of emptiness and loneliness, inability to tolerate being alone.

In addition, these patients displayed great difficulties in controlling ragefulness; they were unusually impulsive, they fell in and out of love suddenly; they tended to idealize other people and then abruptly despise them. A consequence of all this was that they typically looked for help from a therapist and then suddenly quit in terrible disappointment and anger.

Underneath all these symptoms, therapists began to see in borderline people an inability to tolerate the levels of anxiety, frustration, rejection and loss that most people are able to put up with, an inability to soothe and comfort themselves when they become upset, and an inability to control the impulses toward the expression, through action, of love and hate that most people are able to hold in check. What seems to be of central importance in the symptoms and difficulties mentioned above is that the hallmark of the "borderline" personality is great difficulty in holding on to a stable, consistent sense of one's self: "What am I?" these people ask. "My life is in chaos; sometimes I feel like I can do anything—other times I want to die because I feel so incompetent, helpless and loathsome. I'm a lot of different people instead of being just one person."

The one word that best characterizes borderline personality is "instability." Emotions are unstable, fluctuating wildly, often for no discernible reason. Thought processes are unstable—rational and clear at times, quite extreme and distorted at other times. Behavior is unstable—often with periods of excellent conduct, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating with outbreaks of regression to childlike states of helplessness and anger, suddenly quitting a job, withdrawing into isolation, failing.

Self control is unstable leading to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. A person with borderline personality disorder may sacrifice themselves for others, only to reach their limit and suddenly fly into rageful reproaches, or they may curry favor through obedient submission only to rebel, out of the blue, in a tantrum.

Associated with this instability is terrible anxiety, guilt and self-loathing for which relief is sought at any cost—medicine, drugs, alcohol, overeating, suicide. Sadly, oddly, self-injury is discovered by many borderline people to provide faster relief than anything else—cutting or burning themselves stops the anxiety temporarily.

The effect upon others of all this trouble is profound: family members never know what to expect from their volatile child, siblings, or spouse, except they know they can expect trouble: suicide threats and attempts, self-inflicted injuries, outbursts of rage and recrimination, impulsive marriages, divorces, pregnancies and abortions; repeated starting and stopping of jobs and school careers, and a pervasive sense, on the part of the family, of being unable to help.

I'd just like to say how helpful I find this description, I've suffered with my mental health for 11 years now going through many different diagnosis, Chronic Depression, PTSD, Eating Disorders, Sever Depression, Bipolar II and Currently A-Typical Bipolar, Recurrent Depressive Illness, Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Social Phobia...
However I don't honestly think that the A-Typical Bipolar is a correct diagnosis...I have thought for a while that BPD is a better diagnosis...Everything you have described here is me, it's how I Feel, how I act, How I think, How I behave Etc...

I'm at a total loss as I don't know how to tell my Psych and CPN I don't think their diagnosis is correct..

I was a self harmer for years, only stopping because I didn't want to upset my family anymore, but according to my CPN this shows I am stronger than others and that my condition is not as serious, which I'm not saying it is but it's hard, I want to self harm sooo much it's the only way I can feel release/relief and let my anger and frustration out..I don't know how to talk to anyone and I can't be me...I don't know who "me" is...I've lived for so long putting up a front being "ok" and not letting my guard down that I no longer know how I feel, how to cry or anything the only thing I can do is get frustrated and angry..I'm at a complete loss...please does anything think it's possible that if I can say all of this description describes me that I may be right in thinking I have been misdiagnosed? and how can I tell me psych I think he is wrong? Please help I'm at a total loss I'm terrified of being put in hospital I don't want that at all but I'm scared I will be...please help!

(Ps. I had to remove the link from the quote as it wouldn't let me post with it in!)

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Default Dec 28, 2009 at 06:24 PM
  #44
Tattered...I definitely think it is something to discuss with your CPN. You should be free to talk about something like what your diagnosis is or what it means.
Why are you thinking that it would mean you would be hospitalized?
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Default Dec 28, 2009 at 06:32 PM
  #45
I'm not sure I'm just terrified that it will happen, I escaped being hospitalised a few times when I was younger and the thought of being away from my husband and daughter and family just terrifies me...It's horrible, I honestly don't feel able to talk to my psych or cpn as over here the professional knows best and what they say is right...I honestly don't think they would listen to me..

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Default Dec 28, 2009 at 09:19 PM
  #46
Can I still have BPD if this part doesn't apply to me. They put it first as though it's core.

'great difficulties in controlling ragefulness; they were unusually impulsive, they fell in and out of love suddenly; they tended to idealize other people and then abruptly despise them.'

None of that is something I do - I'm fairly even-tempered, not especially impulsive, don't fall in and out of love suddenly - especially not out, I'm realistic in my views of a person and don't despise them.
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Default Dec 28, 2009 at 09:24 PM
  #47
I would think so. There are parts that don't apply to me. I dont' fall in love, for example.
My ragefulness was very bad when I was younger and now that I'm much older it is more of an internal ragefulness; I am very hard on myself and/or I rage against others in my mind, not out loud.

Are there parts that you think do apply?
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Default Dec 28, 2009 at 10:24 PM
  #48
Only the stuff about inconsistency and instability regarding work because I get too depressed to function and also having insomnia interferes a lot. I also have difficulties with some aspects of work like my handwriting and ability to take in aural information. Also some problems with numbers - like I can be told a number over the phone and write it down wrong. My energy levels tend to be low.

I don't even rage against people in my head. I'm more likely to cry. I get very lonely, but then I am in a new city where I don't know hardly anyone and I can go weeks without seeing anyone, as I'm not working. I have attachment issues.
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Default Dec 28, 2009 at 11:03 PM
  #49
Well, in the long run... the label doesn't matter all that much. Even my therapist says this, and said "I don't want you to get too hung up on the diagnosis". What matters is getting help that will make your life feel better.

I often cry out of frustration, which... comes from anger...
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Default Dec 28, 2009 at 11:50 PM
  #50
iv never heard such a better discribtion of who i am .

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You may be going through a tough time right now but Got is getting ready to bless you In away you cannot Imagine

Prayer is one of the best gifts We recieve
There is no Cost but alot of Rewards
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Default Dec 29, 2009 at 10:38 AM
  #51
I've lived in three countries. Papua New Guinea, Australia and currently reside in the UK. I used to think that relief to my challenges well described above by Echoe would go if I found a place where the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. Wishful thinking. I still have BPD traits although never diagnosed. Just describes be so accurately. I'm a very emotional person. Yes, life in England is still challenging, although I can say the grass is greener here...lol.

This is my first ever post online. Hope to learn a lot more about others so that I can understand myself better and be helpful to them.

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Default Dec 30, 2009 at 12:18 AM
  #52
Hi Momokani and welcome to PC!

I have tried the "Geographical Solution" a few times myself. I'm glad that you did find greener grass
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Default Dec 30, 2009 at 06:31 AM
  #53
Hi Momokani! I too am in a similar situation to you, I haven't been diagnosed BPD, but I've had 4 different other dx's and feel that these are wrong and that BPD is correct. After finding this post by ECHOES I have somehow found the strength to discuss this with my family and will be seeing my psychiatrist soon (hopefully if I can get an appointement)

Hope you find some help here too

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Heart Dec 30, 2009 at 07:45 PM
  #54
Welcome momokani to PC!!
Hello Echoes and Tatteredandtorn!

I am Holmes, I lead the BPD Chats
Mon. morn. 11 AM (est), Tues. night 7 PM (est)

DBT Skills are excellent in managing BPD symptoms!

DBT Chat is excellent: Tues. morn. 10:30 AM

Would love to see you all there!!!
Holmes!
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Default Jan 06, 2010 at 06:40 PM
  #55


Struggling this week, meltdown Sunday and Monday...."emergency" therapy session Monday which really helped. Really. Really I see how I do this to myself.
Amazing to me that I could reach out to my therapist and more amazing she can put up with me!!
Now to not let the awareness fade without learning something valuable. Time to journal!
I see my therapist again tomorrow.

I hope everyone else is having peaceful and contented days.
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Default Jan 06, 2010 at 07:00 PM
  #56
((((((((((( Echoes ))))))))))))

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Default Jan 06, 2010 at 07:18 PM
  #57
How would u describe BPD? I may be, but not sure. I struggling trying to figure out what I have...Depression, Anxiety, Social Phobia...? What is BPD?
Thanks!
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Default Jan 06, 2010 at 08:10 PM
  #58
((((((ECHOES))))))

Keep on Journaling!

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Default Jan 07, 2010 at 04:43 PM
  #59
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Originally Posted by blues View Post
How would u describe BPD? I may be, but not sure. I struggling trying to figure out what I have...Depression, Anxiety, Social Phobia...? What is BPD?
Thanks!
My understanding of BPD is that is a "personality" problem not chemical. There fore medication will not change the problems causing most of the symptoms. BPD rarly respond to one on one therapy due to the fact that main symptom is the Stormy friendships part. BPD people tend to latch on to a person real fast and strong and then as soon as there is a hint of rejection ect thay pull away and sabotage the friendship. Theripst ase care to insure there BPD patients dont fall in love with them due this strong sudden connection. As soon as my last T diagnoised me with BPD he suddenly changed the therapy towards me and it had a negative effect on my OCD issues. He was pushing me to go into group therapy but I was petrified of groups at the time and I still am a little scared.

My new T disagrees with the BPD diagnosis due the fact that I have mostly improved with med's and on my own since taking a brack from my last T. My new T says my personailty difficulties are more likly due to my co-morbid disorders. I have depression, general anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and new T has diagnoise me with Post tramtic stress disorder

I would seriously not be looking at BPD as the problem unless you have tryed med's and therapy and nothing is working for you.
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Default Jan 07, 2010 at 05:41 PM
  #60
The difficulties we have create all kinds of things: depression, anxiety, splitting, rage, shutting down, fear of many things.
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