[Unrigged64072835]

Finally got my nails done. Agoraphobia was really bad the past few weeks.

[leomama]

Calm

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Had a good day today so far. Much better than yesterday

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[MobiusPsyche]

Feeling suicidal today and realized it's the first time in a couple of months.

[MobiusPsyche]

Still feeling down today although I got a little work done. Long day tomorrow and then Sunday off.

[leomama]

Definitely feeling down today as I found something out bad last night and got some bad news this morning. Still trying to chop wood, carry water.

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[Unrigged64072835]

Today was a good day. It was my birthday. My family got me gifts and took me out to dinner. It was a lot of fun and my fears didn't trip me up like they usually do.

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Today was a good day. It was my birthday. My family got me gifts and took me out to dinner. It was a lot of fun and my fears didn't trip me up like they usually do.

Happy birthday! Glad you had a good one

[zijax]

Feeling off, hyper, good earlier got a lot done, now feeling restless and bored, unsettled, untethered, ya know

[Lonlin3zz]

It takes 2 to clap.

Learning to put down my pride and resentment, to make an effort to connect with my father still hasn't take a good step yet.

Sigh...

[ImmerAllein]

Originally Posted by leomama

Definitely feeling down today as I found something out bad last night and got some bad news this morning. Still trying to chop wood, carry water.

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I'm sorry to hear about your feeling down

Say, I'm really curious ... in what context did you hear the expression/metaphor "chop wood, carry water" ? Was it a spiritual one ? Buddhism ?

Thanks !

[ImmerAllein]

Today was a great day. Got a call from the gym I went to for 6 years ... they're offering me a promotional rate to re-enroll ! Given that I'm jobless, this is huge !

So, after four months of no exercise and overdosing on bad food, I lifted for 90 minutes today ! I feel great !

[leomama]

Originally Posted by ImmerAllein

I'm sorry to hear about your feeling down

Say, I'm really curious ... in what context did you hear the expression/metaphor "chop wood, carry water" ? Was it a spiritual one ? Buddhism ?

Thanks !

Its the title of a buddhist book, and one of my mantras. Today has been up and down, with good and bad. What's been consisting throughout is me wanting to turn down the volume on my emotions. https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl...ZWO_ZVkbXKfrA=

[Lonlin3zz]

the reasons i thought why my partner left me after a month:

- Tried joking to make things livelier, but it's most likely a bad choice to attempt to cool her down from spending sprees on eye-liners :/

- She loves make-up and eye-liner and I should let her have her freedom as well, she's an adult.

- Should tried to get out of my comfort zone and get to know her more.

At the end of the day, I have to put more energy into my mental well-being and focus on my physical recovery.

Lets toast to each other feeling better tomorrow. We don't know what life may bring

[leomama]

Restless, irritable and discontent. Grumpy, cranky and annoyed. I woke up at 7:16am and daughter was up, turned out she was up since 5am.

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[Unrigged64072835]

Today was okay. Didn't do much but still was fine. Preparing for the next two weeks when my husband has jury duty.

[leomama]

So totally irritated , people in my life are getting on my nerves, want something different .

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Today was pretty calm. Went to do a couple of errands and now here chillaxing.

[Lonlin3zz]

I just thought about my past;

I grew up in an environment being pushed around and verbally/physically abused during my schooling days. Couldn't argue back or retaliate, and I'm always the one blamed for what happened to me, so defenceless those were the days of being a child in school.

Might be the main reason why I mostly keep opinions to myself, work alone, and seldom argue or express myself. Fix my own problems and learn lessons myself, because I don't want my close ones to worry about me.

I don't think it's something to be proud of anymore, it could probably be detrimental to my future life, and my career.

Currently, I feel the break-up probably justified that I wasn't ready for a r/s, so I don't feel bad now in all honesty.

ahh, life surprises you at every milestone.

[Anrea]

Difference between BP and BPD (I suffer from both) BPD can have triggers cause manic/depression/hypomania. I had that happen today, leading to panic attack, racing thought, uncontrollable emotion. My trigger today was the unexpected event.

My insurance company sent me 3 letters stating they were denying coverage of 3 different rides I received to medical appointments. I am sure this will be cleared up - I contacted my insurance company case coordinator whose area is to handle disabled people with special needs.

My purpose for sharing here is to help others when they have triggers create uncontrollable emotions.

I believe my fight/flight system is messed up. I believe this effects both my bipolar - unexpected moods, and my borderline personality disorder moods that happen due to triggers. For BP, I can wake up depressed or manic or both - and I know that it isn't because I am sad, or godly - it is because my mind is out of whack that day. I did not always know this. Now that I have embraced that probable theory, I try not to attach reasons for extreme emotions. (I try to tell myself I am not in psychic contact with the dhalai lama, or that I am not sad due to a reason).

For BPD I cling to thoughts. I repeat phrases during the extreme moments - today, as I rocked back and forth - an explosion of fireworks of emotions going through my head, I just said repeatedly "CAN handle, CAN handle. - and the words and speed followed the freak out. It was something to cling to instead of going to a conclusion.

I try really hard to follow the knowledge that therapy has taught me. Also, that life has taught me. Perhaps a lot of it is just the slowing down of age.

The book of my life would be called.... "Today, I am....". Because I think that was the biggest question of my life. It seems other 'normies' know who they are because they come from a place that they don't question. Somehow - they feel themselves. For me, I am and was... unwritten. Now, I am very written on, but still without definition.

Sorry, theorizing - racing thoughts is part of the outcome of uncontrollable emotions.

I just wanted everyone to consider that all of our extreme emotions come from the fight or flight area of our brains. It is reactionary. (Also for people who also have BP- I believe it effects us too). That part of the brain function seems to be the key area that grows the seed of over-reaction - or under reaction when it seems shut off (creating depression).

On a different note - Lastly I want to say that I am going to be extra nice to my husband today. It must be so hard never knowing exactly what feeling the house will be in for the family members, or significant others who are in a relationship with a person who has mental illness. They deserve kindness and peace when we can give it. Makes the rocky roads, and title waves easier to ride. We have created separate spaces for ourselves - it is very important to maintain balance and equality - and sometimes he has pretty big emotions too - and I have learned to just relax, and allow them for the most part. And when I freak out about something - he tries to do the same. Thankfully, we both seek peace and that creates the desire to help the other back to calm.

Good luck to each of you!