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MDDBPDPTSD
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Default Apr 22, 2018 at 05:55 AM
  #1
Every time I try to fall asleep I get these negative thoughts and they just don’t stop. They keep going and going and they tell me very ugly things. I don’t hear voices or anything like that, it’s just my thoughts, but it’s not really my thoughts. I say that because I don’t really believe those things anymore. They say things like I’m wanna die, I am worthless, nothing is ever going to work out for me, and other very negative ugliness. The thoughts come when they like and have no regard for whether I want to think them or not. I have tried various things to make them shut up but it doesn’t seem to work.
Does anyone else deal with thoughts like this? Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to make them go away?

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Default Apr 22, 2018 at 06:31 AM
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Are you in mental health treatment for these thoughts? If you are, have you told the professionals treating you? There may be treatments that can help. Whenever you are telling yourself, "I wanna die" that is very serious and warrants treatment.
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Default Apr 22, 2018 at 07:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Hopingtrying View Post
Are you in mental health treatment for these thoughts? If you are, have you told the professionals treating you? There may be treatments that can help. Whenever you are telling yourself, "I wanna die" that is very serious and warrants treatment.
Yes I am in treatment and they know about my thoughts. My therapist has suggested I use mindfulness to distance myself from them. She also suggested I name the thoughts, so I can easily recognize they stem from depression and they are not really my thoughts. I have done that with them and it helps me to not identify with them as much, so I am not in danger of acting on them. I just wish they would go away. I don’t know how to make them go away.

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Default Apr 23, 2018 at 05:25 AM
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I just wish they would go away. I don’t know how to make them go away.
When I was suicidal--I would jump to these thoughts as the answer to escape major problems in my life that were causing me anxiety. Some of the problems were quite serious. For me, that some of the problems (not all) have resolved, acknowledging about the problems instead of burying them and taking the right amount of medications helped me. It sound like you are acknowledging your feelings. If you have stresses in your life, perhaps make a long term plan to address them and then begin slowly implementing it. Some of our problems just cannot be addressed quickly. I don't know how much stress you have in your life but most people have some sort of stress that they have to deal with.
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Default Apr 23, 2018 at 03:19 PM
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I listen to music with lyrics that I know, usually the same album. My brain associates it with sleep, so I start getting sleepy when I listen to it, and every time the negative thoughts start up I redirect my focus to the lyrics. I can't both listen to the lyrics and have an inner monologue simultaneously. And because I already know the lyrics I don't have to listen super closely, so I'm still able to fall asleep.
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Default Apr 25, 2018 at 11:17 PM
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Originally Posted by MDDBPDPTSD View Post
Every time I try to fall asleep I get these negative thoughts and they just don’t stop. They keep going and going and they tell me very ugly things. I don’t hear voices or anything like that, it’s just my thoughts, but it’s not really my thoughts. I say that because I don’t really believe those things anymore. They say things like I’m wanna die, I am worthless, nothing is ever going to work out for me, and other very negative ugliness. The thoughts come when they like and have no regard for whether I want to think them or not. I have tried various things to make them shut up but it doesn’t seem to work.
Does anyone else deal with thoughts like this? Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to make them go away?
I have exactely the same thing with my thoughts and they don't seem like my own thoughts either.
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Default Apr 26, 2018 at 02:48 PM
  #7
With meditation I learned to treat my thoughts like clouds in the sky. They flow in and out. I usually meditate before I fall asleep so that I carry that feeling with me as my brain tries to bombard me.
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Default May 01, 2018 at 03:03 PM
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I have done something similar where I put those thought on a bed of leaves in the river and watch them float away. And they do go away for a few minutes but they come back.

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Default May 06, 2018 at 08:10 PM
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I like the music idea very much. This isn't exactly the same thing, but maybe could be helpful? I remember one time I was crying myself to sleep hysterically, I was totally frantic, and suddenly my own voice was saying, in my head but as though I were someone else talking to another person, "She's just tired." I actually felt better immediately; somebody understood! Weird, yes, but it helped. Since then I've been able to recapture some of that -- higher self? -- to take an objective look and calm myself down. But again, the music sounds like an awesome idea!
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Default May 06, 2018 at 11:23 PM
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I think that’s the idea behind mindfulness. To be able to take you out of the feelings and understand them. Thank you for your reply.

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Default May 07, 2018 at 12:21 AM
  #11
I relate to this post so much. I have the exact same problem. Can’t sleep right now because of it.
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Default May 07, 2018 at 02:52 PM
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I listen to a lot of positive affirmation videos on youtube when I am going to sleep and it helps combat negative thoughts and feelings.
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Default May 26, 2018 at 04:25 PM
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I took the idea of separating myself from the negative thoughts to the next level and wrote down the recurring thoughts that come to me often. It was 7 pages long! Then, I brought them to my therapist’s office and put them in the shedder. That was only about 36 hours ago, so it’s too soon to say what real effect that may have but, so far, I have had fewer of those thoughts. I will try to remember to update this thread with progress or regressive reports, as the case may be.
I feel better today though because I did sleep well last night. It also helped to just write the thoughts out on paper because seeing them there on the paper, I realized many of them are just ridiculous. Not all of them, but still. Hopefully they won’t come back like they were. I have already had some, but not nearly as many. I am grateful for the decrease.

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Default May 26, 2018 at 04:50 PM
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In the hospital my PDOC put me on Pimozide for a couple days for negative thoughts. I don't know why the doctors did it. Once I said that therapy never helped me. That's the only negative thought I can remember saying. Didn't work.

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Default Jun 04, 2018 at 01:13 AM
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I think that’s the idea behind mindfulness. To be able to take you out of the feelings and understand them. Thank you for your reply.
Yep, part of it is to be in the moment and acknowledge your thoughts but not get fixated on them or get stuck thinking about the past or the future. It's to focus on the current moment in time.

Ideally I'd be able to lie there and be still and even in the quiet focus on experiencing the present moment. I'm not there yet though.
In a book I read the author suggests working your way up to that, starting with something that forces your mind to stay in the present moment, using the example of snowboarding down a hill where if you get lost in your thoughts instead of focusing on your surroundings for even a second you'll end up falling, then working your way up to and practicing with things that require less of your attention, like riding a bicycle, until maybe someday you can stay in the moment even without something like that to use to redirect your attention to the present moment. (The book was How to be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use, a book that I cannot recommend highly enough, especially for people who find most self help books and therapy stuff obnoxious)

So that's kind of how I use the music. I can use the lyrics kind of as an anchor to pull myself back to the present moment and hold myself there when I find myself getting caught up in my thoughts.
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Default Jun 13, 2018 at 05:54 AM
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I like to read something positive and uplifting at bedtime. It helps distract me and relax me.
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Default Jul 03, 2018 at 09:14 PM
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Every time I try to fall asleep I get these negative thoughts and they just don’t stop. They keep going and going and they tell me very ugly things. I don’t hear voices or anything like that, it’s just my thoughts, but it’s not really my thoughts. I say that because I don’t really believe those things anymore. They say things like I’m wanna die, I am worthless, nothing is ever going to work out for me, and other very negative ugliness. The thoughts come when they like and have no regard for whether I want to think them or not. I have tried various things to make them shut up but it doesn’t seem to work.
Does anyone else deal with thoughts like this? Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to make them go away?
Sounds a lot like me! I really can't sleep at all on my own. My thoughts are so overwhelming. It's like my brain won't shut off and all I feel is anxiety. A low dose of Seroquel helped me tremendously but that's something to discuss with your doctor.
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Default Jul 06, 2018 at 01:36 AM
  #18
I feel like that all the time and even in my dreams, sometimes when i dream where i know im dreaming and can control them, i still feel like that and im pretty lost. I dont know what to do and i let someone so close to me down over this. I wonder if they will ever stop.
I stay awake for hours over this, i put a pillow on my head or sometimes listen to music but lately nothing is working for me.
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